Confessions of a Pet-A-holic

Well, I'm going to start this off by saying hello to some of my old BP.net buddies who may have given me up for gone long ago, and to those who've forgotten. That being said I have a tale to tell of the responsibility of owning pets, and realizing when one has gone too far out of their means to be a loving parent to more than one's capable of. I also hope this is the right forum, maybe it should be in general pets instead. But I'll leave that to the mods.

As some of you may remember I came here almost 3 years ago for help on a brand new baby BP that was purchased from petco. For almost a year I was content with that single snake, despite the wide range of morphs available, let alone other species that peaked my interest. That being said, it was easy then, as I was in the Corps at Texas A&M, and even having a single snake was against the rules. Now I understand there may be quite a few members on this forum keeping snakes in their dorms where they arn't allowed and I completely sympathize with you all, as with a little tweaking, one snake is easily concealable while still maintaining above average care. However, after a fair bit of time my interest grew to a level where I desired to spread my bounds and acquire a beautiful little black blood from Jeff Hartwig. As my previous threads speak for themselves, things didn't go very well. Ultimately before long, and for unexplainable reasons the snake didn't survive. I am as sure as one can be that my level of care was more than adequate for a young snake to healthily grow and succeed. But that's not what happened.

By the end of that semester of school, I had fallen very ill myself as was removed from the corps, and this new found freedom and space lead me to try expanding again and acquire a coastal carpet from Mike (MPenn here) and a little pastel bp from a vendor at a local show. The night before the show, I had the opportunity to take in a rogue pitbull, affectionatly known as "Baby" to those who follow my threads, from the side of the highway. So by the end of the weekend my pet collection had grown from a single BP, to two BPs, a coastal carpet and a pitbull, inside my small apartment. There was alot to work out to make that happen, but it did in spades. It was almost too easy taking them in and providing them healthy living conditions, and with regular exercise for the pit, for them to thrive. All was good.

Not long later I had taken a job at petco with the free time I enjoyed from no longer being in the corps, and was given a decent discount on supplies with employment, but what would soon be my demise, regular interaction with animals that needed loving homes. However, life was grand.

About a month later, I got the bug again. Time to expand. Within two weeks I had acquired both a butter and spider ball python, with the intention of breeding them in enough time. Once again, a little shifting of funds and some manipulation of my apartment environment later, taking care of these new additions fell in line with the rest of my collection, to where their presence was nearly negligible. It still seemed all too easy and was wondering how others could complain about maintaining a small collection.

During the next 3 months I expanded my reptile collection to the point that their maintanence went from "auto-pilot" to "need-to-do" with the addition of a bearded dragon, two adult normal bp's, a milk snake I found in my apartment and was actively shopping for a red ackie. All seemed easy enough to manage, though I have to admit more and more of my funds were being directed away from my personal life expenses and into maintaining my collection. However I regretted none of it. I would log into here on a regular basis, get to chat with a wide range of people about the animals I had in my care and the things I'd learned from them. But the danger was this, subconsciously something changed. It went from me enjoying my single normal with the love and attention of a family member, to a near arms-race with others as to a "look what I have", and "I have this, arn't I a bad-A reptile guy?" These animals were my life, this website was my life, and if I wasn't in class, with my animals, or on this site, I was sharing everything I knew with anyone who'd listen. I loved it, though my passion was beginning to stretch my financial means, but in my eyes, all was good.

Then something happened which kicked my gotta-have-them-all mood into overdrive. I had done my job at petco so well, so many people (both coworkers and customers) viewed me as a key source of information and work habit that I got promoted to asst. manager at petco, with a relatively significant pay increase. This newfound money only meant one thing at the time, I can safely afford more animals and provide above their necessary standards, even have money for the eventual vet trips. With this frame of mind I took in several more adoptions over about 2 months. This included 2 ferrets, 4 rats, a hedgehog and a small reef tank. By this time I was able to move into a house with some buddies whom amongst them had another hedgehog, an 80 gallon salt tank, a border collie and a greater swiss mountain dog. The sheer amount of animals in this house was overwhelming. It was absurd. It was nuts. But I loved it.

Looking back, I believe it took about 8 months for the reality of the situation I, a poor college student, living paycheck from paycheck purely because of the needs of my animals had gotten my into. The sheer work volume for petco, school and my animals had taken it's toll and relegated me to only random visits to this site and my friends. I had trapped myself because I did not have it in me to let any of my beloved pets go. Though to be honest, there was only two whom I cared about on a personal level instead of "because I spent X amount on you", or "you're an interesting addition to my collection". I felt remorse for how little I actually cared about most of the animals I've accumulated, and felt I only had one relatively responsible solution to the problem, and that was to be the person I hated the most. The guy who was giving up on animals because it wasn't in their interests to keep them. It took me 2 months from then to actually break down and find a suitable home for a portion of my collection. Despite my intensive background check upon each person I gave a piece of my collection to (which is sadly the way I viewed it), most of whom being regular customers of mine I was confident with, it was a double edged sword with each adoption. The jealousy of losing the prized collectible, but the peace of mind that came with them no longer being in my possession. It made me sick that that was my God honest true feelings, but with that being the case, I knew I didn't deserve them anyways. Not that I ever treated my animals with anything less than dedication, but the loss of their place as pets in my mind to the position of trophy that without the utmost maintanence would tarnish, was all the conviction I needed that I was doing the right thing.

Then something devastating happened. I had thinned my collection down from 6 bp's, coastal carpet, boa, hedgehog, ackie, bearded dragon, pit bull, reef tank, milk snake, 2 ferrets, 4 rats, and 6 mice; to a measly 3 bp's, pit bull, and my salt tank. But then, my most loved BP, my original normal, had to be put down because of someone messing with his t-stat and cooked him. I paused with my shrinking collection for a bit, but before long I was ready to get rid of the rest of my snake collection, because Snape was gone. I couldn't handle the idea that the rock to my collection, the one with no perceived value except emotional attachment was gone, leaving me with high dollar animals that I viewed as my breeding experiment for "pretty babies". I gave away my remaining two BPs, a butter and spider, to a friend of mine and called it a day. My once mighty herp collection was completely gone from my hands.

Now, most of the thinning of the herd that occurred was a combination of two things, 1) being my realization that I had overstepped my abilities, 2) being that I moved back home with my parents after college and they just wouldn't have it. But moving back home forced me to give up the only other animal I truly loved out of my zoo. The pit bull. I have a beagle back home, and my mom a Maltese. If you need explanation as to why I couldn't keep her, just read some of my previous threads, they shouldn't be hard to find. I did manage to place her with my ex-gf who had worked with her alot and all was good, ultimately she found Baby a more permanent home. But all that aside, my entire collection is gone.

I hate saying this, because they're living creatures who deserve only the best from those who care for them, but collecting animals was a dangerous addiction of mine. I don't want to justify my purge on selfish terms, but there really was no other way in my mind. They had all the self-destructive tendencies to me that others have with tobacco, alcohol or illicit drugs.

But now, I'm starting fresh, with a hopefully more mature mindset, with this knowledge in hand. No longer am I going to repeat these mistakes of mine. But cannot turn my back any longer to a hobby I truly enjoy. I'm looking to adopt a baby normal in the near future and stop myself there. Hopefully relive the experience and love I had when I got my first bp several years ago, and not let it get diluted by "collection" mentality. I feel like an imbecile for posting this, nor do I want y'alls opinion of me to slip, BUT I logged back on tonight and felt like I needed to share my story so hopefully someone else doesn't make the same avoidable mistakes I made. Cherish what you have, don't let yourself turn this into an experiment. Don't allow yourself to make these mistakes. Because if you truly care for these animals, you'll regret it later.

Welcome back!

I'm glad to hear that you realized your addiction and parted your animals off to good homes. Sorry to hear about Snape. That must have been devastating.

That was a very moving story. It took a lot of integrity to own up and then share your story so that others may learn from your mistakes. Mad respect :salute:

I recently lost my very precious Colombian Boa, Eden. I feel for your loss. Nothing has ever been so devastating.

May you have nothing but good luck and wonderful times with your new companion when you find him or her.

It's SO good to see you again! And I, for one, could not possibly think less of you for what you have just posted! It's a syndrome I see played out here over and over again....only no one ever talks about it...and it makes me very sad. It's my hope that at least some folks will read your story and learn from it.

You did the right thing, hon. You found good homes for your animals and did the very best for them that you could. No one should fault you for that. And we all make such mistakes that we need to learn and grow from. Few of us have the guts to share those heart-wrenching experiences with the world, though. :hug:

It took a lot of courage for you to share that with everyone. Like JLC stated, you did the right thing for your animals and no one can fault you for that. I commend you for sharing this information with everyone and for doing the right thing by your animals.

First of all welcome back!

I did not know you as I am new to this site. But I would like to say that it does not sound like you are like those OTHERS that just give up pets. Those ppl take them and drop them off at a pet store, let them go, or take them to the Human Society. You took the time to find homes for them....so please don't rank yourself with people like that. Secondly....it sounds to me as if you were young and caught up in it all. Not like we all haven't been young and doing things we shouldn't have!! Lord knows....I could write a book on that. At 43 years old....I STILL want to take in everything and my son is just a smaller version of me. Thankfully my hubby is my voice of reason......even though at times I get mad at him for it....lol

So all in all good on you for recognizing and taking the steps to really take care of your pets. ;)

gooseman
that took guts, and i thank you for having them enough to share your experiences. it can very easily turn into a keeping up with the Jones' for a lot of people. im so sorry about snape.

Thanks everyone for your kind words! For what may be somewhat understandable reasons I seriously debating actually clicking the post button. It just felt so good to type out for once. But ultimately I remembered above anything else this is a site for new herp owners, and I felt that if some people read this story it might keep a few mistakes from being made. I remember from when I was here everyday and saw so many people behaving in a relatively similar fashion that I'm truly curious how many of them have been able to maintain without outside help, and how many have come to the same realization that I myself had.

i hear everything you say and know what you are talking about. hence why i'm not here much... reading about morphs makes me want some. more snakes means more responsibility.

so yup... i hear ya.

(((hugs))) my iSon.

love,
iMom

Man I love all my pets If any of them died I would prolly cry. =(

Just look at my sig!

I think we all feel the pull of the 'pet collecting' addiction.

I resisted the urge to pick up what would have been a great craigslist pickup, because I just don't need more herps. It'd tighten my budget and I have no room for more.

I'm getting a dog, because really I just need a friend and companion to come home to, and calling it good.

Thank you for going ahead and pressing that Post button! This is something that I am somewhat worried about, myself, and it's good to hear about what could happen if I let it continue. I would cry if I had to give up any of my animals; I need to keep that in mind so I don't go too overboard!

Again, thanks for baring all to help others!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eventide

Thank you for going ahead and pressing that Post button! This is something that I am somewhat worried about, myself, and it's good to hear about what could happen if I let it continue. I would cry if I had to give up any of my animals; I need to keep that in mind so I don't go too overboard!

Again, thanks for baring all to help others!

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isn't that the point though... for all of us to remember...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

isn't that the point though... for all of us to remember...

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This is very true, this very post in reference was the underlying reason I felt I had to share. Not to toot my my own horn, but back when I was a regular here it seemed as though I had a great deal of friends, and when I meandered out of the off-topic section, on occasion someone would listen to my advice, and so far this thread has been the most valuable I feel. If one person has taken this to heart, it was worth it!

I can relate with the addiction to hobbies. I quickly got lost in the gun collecting addiction and ran up credit cards and spent all of my time at the range. I almost lost my marriage! I enjoy the BP and the forum, but I am being very frugal in this hobby. I plan on getting a Boa, but I don't want to go crazy getting morphs. I really enjoy handling the snake and my daughter and students really love it. I have to keep things in perspective, however. I can see how I could let all of this run away with me. Great thread:gj:

Welcome back, And nice story to hear that can help people in near future;)

Daniel

dont feel stupid for posting.. its great that you've overcome your habit and your strong enough to give it another chance.. thats life, its constantly teaching you.. unfortunately it always seems to teach people the hard way.. but i guess its just trying to build character in people.. some cant handle it and break down.. but y'all have to understand that its not worth it to break down cause something crappy is just going to happen again.. roll with the punches and be happy you have your health and your family! good luck mate

p.s. i got hit with the bug about a year ago and if it wasn't for my wifey i would have maxed out my credit card on all kinds of morphs! lol.. but i found composure and am working with only a few girls and instead of buying more i'm going to produce my own! and in the meantime i'm going to gain as much knowledge and prepare a husbandry that can meet every standard of living for as many snakes that come out of my girls! dont limit yourself to just ONE reptile.. maybe just focus on breeding just ONE kind of reptile.. cheers

I had an interest in herps from a young age but wasnt allowed, as parents thought they were all difficult to keep and that my cat may munch on them! Its only in the last couple of years Ive aquired 3 leos and a rescue bp (who I all love to bits) but in the future I do hope to add a couple more beautiful herps. However I do have to remind myself to wait even if I can afford the time and money now. Its easy to become overwhelmed, and like you said I wouldnt want optimal care and attention to become part of a 'must do' list because Ive acquired so many. Still, I find it a battle of wills against myself sometimes!

Im so sorry to hear about snape, yet Its a really good thing you had the courage to post not only to help heal yourself from the experience, but as already said 'to remind us all'. Good luck :)

I too am glad you posted your story. I'm new here myself, so I didn't know you before, but I can certainly relate to your story.

I've always loved cats. When my husband and I moved in together, we had just one. Over time we got another, just a little stray my daughter loved. But then we got a bigger place, and it was so easy to say, "We have room for one more." Then another, then another, then this one had kittens, then we found a stray who had kittens. At one point I'm ashamed to say, we had about 30 cats and kittens, plus a dog, and birds, and three kids. It was a nightmare!

Like you, it was hard to let go, but I asked myself, what kind of life could I possibly provide so many? The kittens were easiest of course, everyone wants a kitten. The older cats were harder, but we persevered. Eventually, we got down to only 8.

Of course, most people would react by saying" Only 8?!?" But for us we thought it was fine. But time went on and outside things interfered, and again I found myself asking, "Is this too much?"

So we made some more tough choices and got down to 6. And believe me letting "my babies" go was very hard to do. Then we decided to take it one step further and we found homes for most of our extensive bird collection, which numbered around 50 at one point.

Even though the decision was hard, it's one I'm glad we made. taking proper care of so many animals was impossible, no matter how I wanted to deny that fact. Granted, most people still consider us to have a zoo, but for me things are much easier.

Now, all I have to do is learn from your example and not go overboard with my newest addiction, BP's. :D

Thanks again for your post, and know that you aren't alone in this.

Gale