A question for the Married or living together couples

As most know me and my better half married last November, but have been together 3 years now. She has put up with my obsession that is snake keeping for about as long lol. The question now, to what extent do your better halves help with the snakes and the daily chores? Liza does come and check on her select favorites and she will fill up and water bowls that are empty also. She is more hesitant to mess with the ones that have either struck or bitten me which is fine. I keep most of the sub adults and babies on paper and when its time to clean she doesn't want any part of it lol. Now this isn't to complain as I know this is my hobby and she does help out alot. I just wanted to hear how your situations differ from mine. Thanks in advance.

My wife is deathly afraid of snakes. She doesn't help one bit. Actually she hasn't been in the snake room in like 3 years.

Im not even touching this :)

my boyfriend is almost phobic of snakes. He understands that I love them but they are 100% my animals and I do all the daily maintenance associated with them. I'll talk to him about them sometimes, or mention if something interesting happened or if everyone ate or didnt but he doesn't really care at all and I understand that.

Thats why i come here to get my daily dose of OMG TALK ABOUT SNAKES. (secretly i'm hoping he'll come around). He did actually help edit my entire book about snakes (Keeping Ball Pythons) and thats.. a lot of pictures of ball pythons that he went through, but he did it for me, not because he cares about the snakes at all.

Oh, and he stood up to our landlord about my snakes too. They're on the lease and there was an issue with the LL and his religion and the snakes (after we moved in) perhaps i'll make another post about that, but he stood up for my snakes because I love them and they make me happy, so he wants them around by default.

Well my Fiance use to be scared of my snakes but a few months go she decided to hold one of my female normals..needless to say i am no longer the "owner" of that particular female lol..but she still refuses to handle any of my larger ones..she likes the smaller one and thats it..she even gets mad when i feed cause she doesnt want her to grow haha..but when it comes to feeding or cleaning I'm still on my own.

My wife and I have been together for over fifteen years and I have had several different types of snakes over the years. In that time she has never cleaned a cage and really does not interact with them. But there are advantages to this because she does not really know how many snakes I have. We currently only have the four Ball Pythons and my son has a Corn snake and the other day when someone asked how many snakes we had she said seven... So I figure I can bring a couple more into the house since she already thinks they are there. :D ;)

I am married to someone who is not into animals period, snakes and rodents even less, he has come a long way and now handles snakes (2 of them are "his") and he even has "his" Cresties, when it comes to care though it is on me, I do it all this is MY hobby and I consider this MY responsability.

My husband has been very supportive, even let me take over the room that was supposed to be his so I could have a large reptile room so I really cannot complain quite the contrary, he wants me do to what makes me happy however that is where the support ends (which is already great), he works long hours so I would not expect him to help me either but I know that if I needed help he would try is best.

Anyway this is my thing and I am not expecting or wanting him to help me just like if he goes fishing (that is his hobby) he does not expect me to help (cleaning the boat, preparing the tackle box, cleaning the fish etc), I could but I am not into that at all.

We each do our own thing, respect and understand each other interest and the time we dedicate to our passion.

Me and sarah have been together for 7 years now and we are not married yet but we moved out together when we were 16 and she actually bought me a ball python for a fathers day present and she didnt know it was going to turn into an obsession. But she is very supportive of every reptile I want except the venomous snakes. Most of the time I clean cages by myself but she asks everyday if I need help cleaning and sometimes if I dont feel good or something and want to get done faster we will clean together

We split the room.

She does babies and geckos

I do all the big stuff, plus a few babies here and there.

I have been with my boyfriend for almost seven years and we live together. I have one male normal BP and he is mine, lol. My boyfriend handles him when I have to do the cleaning or just spot cleaning of the enclosure. My boyfriend used to have a crazy garter snake that was very aggressive with me and he was the only one able to handle that snake. He also used to clean the garter's enclosure. My boyfriend is a little hesitant with my BP because my boy had struck at him once. That was our own fault though, the snake had just got done with a meal and my boyfriend stuck his hand into the enclosure tyring to spot clean. This is why my boyfriend is a little hesitant to handle my BP.

I've been with my gf for nearly 4 years. We don't live together but spend just about every moment outside of work at each others' apartments.

My reptiles are 100% my pets and my responsibility but she has cared for them when I've gone on vacation visiting family. She has never fed snakes because she feels bad for the rodents (though is quite understanding about their diet despite loving cute fuzzy animals), but she would if I was unable to feed them myself. She is also quite scared of "big snakes", which is anything adult ball python sized and bigger, but I'm working with her on that as my carpet python grows :D

my boyfriend and i have been together almost a year, and we both had snakes before we got together. we each had 2. now, we have 12 snakes! so needless to say, we both wouldn't be AS into snakes without each other. we both do the snake chores, if i notice someones water is soiled, i'll change it. if i see/smell a big poopie, i'll grab it and dispose of it, and vice versa.

My wife was deathly afraid of snakes when she agreed to let me get my first. She was terrified of this baby ball python until I fed her a few drinks one night and convinced her to hold Bella. Now, she loves the snake. She doesn't go so far as to "claim" Bella as her own snake, she does like to hold her when she's out.

As for cleaning, my wife goes so far as to tell me first thing in the morning "I think your snake pooped..." And usually when she makes that call, she's right. So I guess that helps... ;)

My wife has nothing to do with the animals. "That is YOUR hobby" she reminds me everytime I try to get her to help. :)

BUT...

Because of her lack of evolvement, she doesn't keep track of how many snakes I have. I have never had a problem sneaking a few snakes in here or there. :halohorn:

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

My wife has nothing to do with the animals. "That is YOUR hobby" she reminds me everytime I try to get her to help. :)

BUT...

Because of her lack of evolvement, she doesn't keep track of how many snakes I have. I have never had a problem sneaking a few snakes in here or there. :halohorn:

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Josh this was kinda what I was wanting to know. See Liza DOES know what we have and DOES know if I bring in another animal lol. She has her favorites and well she gets made at me if I decide to sell one without talking to her first. Also just to get it out there we are both owners of Royal Morphz as a business. She does help so much though especially when there is a project I want to be apart of she is there to talk the pros and cons of said project so I want all to know that she does help so much just not in the areas I feel I need help in lol.

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

My wife has nothing to do with the animals. "That is YOUR hobby" she reminds me everytime I try to get her to help. :)

BUT...

Because of her lack of evolvement, she doesn't keep track of how many snakes I have. I have never had a problem sneaking a few snakes in here or there. :halohorn:

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Same here, I love it....Ive snuck a few in over the past few months

My wife is just as much involved with keeping snakes as I am, and so are my two (1.1) older children.
They will do whatever is needed as far as taking care of our snake collection, and our rodent racks.

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

Because of her lack of evolvement,

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Should you suddenly disappear, I'll just assume your wife saw this post.

I keep snakes and my boyfriend keeps geckos... While we share many things, it's clear that caring for the animals are separate responsibilities. If either of us needs to be away from them for more than a couple days then the other can take care of all the animals for a short while, but that's it.

I think especially considering how addictive it is to keep herps, it's not fair to buy one and then expect your SO to care for it on a regular basis (unless they choose freely to do so).

My wife has zero contact with (or interest in) my reptiles.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Should you suddenly disappear, I'll just assume your wife saw this post.

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:)

Whoops.

Proof reading is a good thing I suppose.

If it is not this statement that decides my fate, the following regarding my purchasing of additional animals without her knowing would surely decide my final breath. :)

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

:)

Whoops.

Proof reading is a good thing I suppose.

If it is not this statement that decides my fate, the following regarding my purchasing of additional animals without her knowing would surely decide my final breath. :)

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None of us will tell. Promise:salute:

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Originally Posted by Royal Morphz

Josh this was kinda what I was wanting to know. See Liza DOES know what we have and DOES know if I bring in another animal lol. She has her favorites and well she gets made at me if I decide to sell one without talking to her first. Also just to get it out there we are both owners of Royal Morphz as a business. She does help so much though especially when there is a project I want to be apart of she is there to talk the pros and cons of said project so I want all to know that she does help so much just not in the areas I feel I need help in lol.

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Sounds like a good deal to me. Although she may not get her hands dirty, at least you have someone there to bounce ideas off of. Yes, we have wonderful bp.net to bounce ideas off of. :) But it does not compare to having someone there in the flesh working with you.

I may have missed this in an earlier post, but if she isn't helping with water or cleaning, I could spin this into being a good thing. With one person doing it, you have no one else to blame (your wife) other than yourself, if a tub did not get cleaned well enough or the water was filled too full. You know everything is getting done to your specifications.

I would be thrilled if my wife would talk projects with me. It would be nice to bounce ideas off of someone. Often times I do this, but it is more of me thinking out loud around her as she is doing something else. :)

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Originally Posted by Jerhart

. Often times I do this, but it is more of me thinking out loud around her as she is doing something else. :)

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Lol, Ya, same thing happens to me! She holds a baby here and there, but thats about it.... she'll come around eventually I think... I mean she's only been around them around two years now :O

Joel and I have been together for six years, lived together for one, and he has made it abundantly clear that this is MY hobby. He gets involved, helps me with shows and with meeting customers, but the bottom line is that I am the one who feeds, cleans, and pay for the snakes. He will help here and there, but it is my responsibility and one that I take on willingly.

The plus side is that he does talk snakes with me occasionally and I do do projects that are based on his likings (cause I can't decide). Thank goodness for the VPI book so I can point out animals... "You like this one, right, honey?"

There are times where he gets exasperated with my constant need for MORE, but he is my rock when it comes to what I should and shouldn't do with particular customers or animals.

I can always count on him to help if I really need it.

Isn't that what a partner is supposed to do? :)

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Originally Posted by monk90222

My wife is deathly afraid of snakes. She doesn't help one bit. Actually she hasn't been in the snake room in like 3 years.

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Originally Posted by Royal Morphz

Also just to get it out there we are both owners of Royal Morphz as a business.

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That is funny, like I said before, my wife wants nothing to do with my animals, but she made sure she is a legally documented partial owner of RoyaQPythons, LLC..(49% is hers....)

My boyfriend and I live together, have done so for over a year, but have dated for 5 years going on 6. He knew when we got together that I was an animal lover. Then I went to college for a pre-vet program (changed after a bit) and even now am an avid animal collector you might say. He HATES doing anything for them, but he loves them as well. As for my snake, he doesnt like cleaning (has only once) and will NOT feed because he doesnt like hearing the rats squeak. But he handles her, and if I need him to help me he will. But I 100% know that this is my hobby, my snake, my responsibility so never have I expected him to do anything he wasnt comfortable with. He knows this as well. He did name her though :) And now he wants bearded dragons but thats going to be a while (when he learns some more repponsibility and I'm sure if it bites him he wont give it away).

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years and have been living with each other for about 3 and a half. She was afraid of holding the snakes at first but now she handles them without a problem. I usually do all the snake related duties because they were something that I chose to take up and I feel that I should be responsible for them...BUT...

If I'm having a bad day or am in a funk she will help me with the tub cleaning and water changing. She's very supportive of my hobby and future goals but doesn't really share my passion for the snakie raising process.

My partner/BF and I have known each other for 8 years, and have lived together for 6. He knew when he met me that I was an animal nut...and I found out not long after meeting him that he really likes animals but doesn't love them, and that he is allergic (most likely) to most furry critters.

I had a snake when we met - a checkered garter named 'Indie'. He loved watching that little guy. :) He has always liked snakes (the right kinds, that is), so there was never a huge problem there. When I got my first BP and corn, he wanted to hold them for me when I cleaned. I even catch him talking to the snakes in the evening when they're roaming. :D

When it comes to cleaning and feeding, though, they are MINE and it's MY hobby. :) Which is fine by me. They are my pets and I don't mind doing all the work. He lets me know when water is low or there's a poo that needs to be cleaned up, but it's my job to do it. I never expect him to help, and I rarely ask. I'm just happy he likes them (though he does put some strict guidelines on how many I can have).

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Originally Posted by LadyOhh

Joel and I have been together for six years, lived together for one, and he has made it abundantly clear that this is MY hobby. He gets involved, helps me with shows and with meeting customers, but the bottom line is that I am the one who feeds, cleans, and pay for the snakes. He will help here and there, but it is my responsibility and one that I take on willingly.

The plus side is that he does talk snakes with me occasionally and I do do projects that are based on his likings (cause I can't decide). Thank goodness for the VPI book so I can point out animals... "You like this one, right, honey?"

There are times where he gets exasperated with my constant need for MORE, but he is my rock when it comes to what I should and shouldn't do with particular customers or animals.

I can always count on him to help if I really need it.

Isn't that what a partner is supposed to do? :)

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And I promise to get that book back to you so you can use it as a visual tool again. Gotta love The Joel :gj::gj:

I actually have acquired all my snakes post getting married. My wife so far hasn't really done anything with the snakes and she feels bad for the frozen rats, but otherwise if I take one out she'll handle it for a while no problem.

My BF and I have been together for 4.5 years, lived together all those years, with the exception of 1-2 months. We got our snake together, but it was ultimately my decision. He's allergic to almost everything that has fur, so reptiles were the only sort of pet I could get! He likes Snickets, and he'll help when he can. He's been very useful in making her hides, and getting things from work so I don't have to buy stuff. We haven't held her yet, but I have this feeling she's going to like him more than me, lol.

As far as cleaning, I do all of it, since I don't have a job. I buy her food, and he'll help and watch her feed. We're in it together, although I'm a little bit more passionate about it!

Jasmin and I have been together for a while and she is only into the snake thing cuz I am. I mean, She likes them and she thinks there cool, And she loves to brag about them to people but I do all the work. I clean and pay for the animals. She goes to shows and is slowly coming around more to being involved. Shes been telling me she wants to be co owner of Kesslers Kreatures but I told her that's not happeneing til she helps me out :)

my girlfriend is afraid of all snakes but mine. she'll help with small things if i ask, but it is my hobby so it is my work to do

My bf and I pretty much share the cleaning/feeding of all our critters. The only thing I cant do is take our Giant White Knee Tarantula out of her tank cause she is a big hair flicker and I get totally rashy!! We have 3 normal BP's one Rosy Boa 7 tarantulas and 6 cats...... We love them all!!!

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Originally Posted by Lewdogg3

Jasmin and I have been together for a while and she is only into the snake thing cuz I am. I mean, She likes them and she thinks there cool, And she loves to brag about them to people but I do all the work. I clean and pay for the animals. She goes to shows and is slowly coming around more to being involved. Shes been telling me she wants to be co owner of Kesslers Kreatures but I told her that's not happeneing til she helps me out :)

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She will be a lock in after filling that Cham set up :gj::gj::gj::gj:

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Originally Posted by Royal Morphz

She will be a lock in after filling that Cham set up :gj::gj::gj::gj:

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Oh yeah, Were thinking about a Veiled at Anaheim.

My GF and I have lived together for a little over 2 yrs. She was very hesitant at first and a bit freaked out by the snakes. She really enjoys having them around now, so I can't ask for anything more. I have a couple of corns that are "hers" although I do all of the feeding and cleaning. She says that I can get whatever I want as long as I can find room for it. lol

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years now and living together for two. While we have what is soon to be 11 snakes, only one is his and that's the one he takes care of. Snakes is my hobby, so I clean the tubs and feed all of them each weekend, as well as cleaning up after the mouse colonies. I don't mind doing all of that since my collection is small compared to most, I just wish he'd empty the cat box more often ;)

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years now... She has still yet to actually touch one of my snakes. :rofl:

And she has never and claims she will never watch a feeding. But she chooses the names for my snakes because I figure it's one way to get her involved... She also does like some of the high end morphs so at some point, I plan on picking up some hets so that she can have "her" own project...

My wife doesn't touch my snake room and I do not ask her to. We have been married for eight years now and she has only fed and cared for my snakes while I was in Iraq. Other than that I do it all. Snakes are my thing, not hers, and I never expect her to do a thing with them. She respects what I do with them and does not give me any fuss on when I buy new snakes, but still, she will not touch them.

I find it is healthy to have some seperate interests and not share everything, all the time. I do not help her knit or do scrap booking stuff, and she likes the alone time she spends doing that stuff, just like me with my snakes.

My wife loves the snakes and we both do the care, feeding, etc. And she is planning on getting some corn snakes and breeding them...:D

The only reason there is a NorthernRegius.com is due to my guy wanting a BP. We got a nice little normal from the pet-store & I started going on-line to learn more about his care than the few books I had could tell me.

That's when I discovered morphs! At the time I was a hobby breeder of Holland Lops, I was considering ending that due to the work load- not just the hours a day of care but travel to the shows, etc that you need to do to make it work.

So I talked to my guy. He said he had 2 conditions- 1st it would be MY hobby just like the rabbits had been. 2nd that until I made profit beyond the care of the snakes they would have to fit into the office (except for quarantine animals). I told him my 2- which included a budget & allowing me the time needed to care for my snakes without complaint. We both agree it's been way less hectic than rabbits ever was.

I've built up slowly & that has kept it fun for us both. He enjoys handling the snakes but he's still in the AF so he's not always here. I don't mind one bit being the primary care giver, but it is cute how he likes to hold & interact with them. When the Pied eggs were pipping, he had to get Zippy (the momma snake) out to show her that her babies were hatching. :rofl:

I've got a budget to work from & I stick to it. So that keeps the arguments down to zero & the support at 100% . As time has gone on and he sees this "going somewhere" he's more excited about it & will even send me links of new morphs he likes. If things continue to go well he has offered to assist me. We set a mark for expansion & when I make it he will be there to help.

:snake:

My wife Laurie used to be deathly afraid of snakes and actually had nightmares about them. Now she lives down the hall from a whole bunch of them:O.

She really doesnt do reptiles much (but does appreciate them) and will hold a snake occasionally if I place in her hands and remove it when she gets the creeps. The dart frogs are hers and she is mostly responsible for their care and their buggies, they're just pets, no breeding projects(yet).

The real helpful thing she does for me is she has taken a great interest in the rats and even has her favs/pets. I clean tubs pretty much but she cycles and separates moms (pampers the lil buggers) and keeps breeding production flowing while I take care of all the other reptile (snakes, dragons and torts) and plant duties.

I already run my own contracting business which my wife is not involved in (she has a full time job) so she really doesnt get into the reptile business side either (other than when we hatch a morph she asks "whats that worth ?", lol).

She can never keep up with all the morphs, purchases and sales for the most part. That can be a blessing or a curse. A while back I told her I was selling a pastel girl to put the $ towards a calico girl and she really didnt pay attention. I have the calico for over a year and show it to her one day because she's getting so big and she rolls her eyes at me like "you sneaked in another one didnt you". The truth is I may have sneaked 10 others but not the Calico, I promise, LOL.

Laurie is the best, she lets me do my thing knowing that i will take full responsibilty for my hobbies and projects.

We do enjoy the shows, making herp friends, taking animal pics and watching the hatchings together but at the end of the day they are my reptiles/plants and my responsibility and that goes for my dog(and sidekick) as well. Which is fine, taking care of my critters is how I relax from my real job;)

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Originally Posted by West Coast Jungle

Laurie is the best

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I agree!

Ill answer this question in a few months me and my fiancee are moving out this november I currently have 3 leopard geckos and 3 ball pythons she hates all of them she likes looking at my snakes as long as the cage is locked and she is 5 feet away lol. She knows my collection will grow and i guess deals with she just hates listening me talk about any of it.

My husband was TERRIFIED of all snakes, until I got my first (It took me 7 years to convince him to let me get one), now he loves them!
He is very involved with the logistics of the snakes. Caging (I could NOT have assembled the mammoth caging system we have without him), supplies, and FINANCIAL he's on board with. He makes twice as much as I do, so he basically supports my habit for me 100%
He will hold the snakes if I get them out, and has 2 that are "his" that he picked out.

As far as feeding, research, cleaning and general maintenance of the snakes (And the feeders) I'm on my own, which is OK because I LOVE this work. He will fill a water bottle or scrub a bowl if I have my hands full and ASK, but everything else, I do on my own.

I bounce EVERYTHING off of him and he has morphs that he likes and wants. He knows the name, sex and morph of every snake we have.

Stephanie helps me out quite a bit. She is still a little afraid of some of the bigger snakes, or the ones that have bitten me in the past, but generally doesn't mind helping.

My wife understands my passion for reptiles... But she wants nothing to do with it.. My Bp set up is beside my bed it cant bother her that much.
:D Thats why I love her..:D

Terra and I have been together for 3 years now and she bought me Aphrodite. She won't feed or clean the cage, but will occasionaly change her water or hold her while I change the cage. Thats about the extent of it though.