Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by AkivaSmith
Please keep this in mind, not everyone needs to be married first to have a baby. Some women are able to handle raising a baby by themselves. BUT, it is much better to have a helper. If your significant other can be a helper then that is the one you should marry (regardless of any other factor)!
edited for clarity.
Oh I agree fully (although I dont believe everyone should get married)...my rule of thumb always is "I'd rather have one happy parent then two who arent happy" I've seen some amazing moms and dads raise kids alone and do it better then I do on some days...and then I've seen first hand two people who would do so much better in the parent department if they were split up *shrugs* But yes help is key...and for me I never ask for help..it's just how I was raised...and being a mother has changed that...we had Raigen and then moved 3 hours away from my closest family...my mother is an hour away but she doesnt like being a grandmother...or hell a mother even so we hardly ever see her...it was hard...I faced alot in our new house along in a strange town with a new baby...but I did it...your a mother...some people get that and some dont...but at that time with a new child you really get to see what your made of...you'll either crash hard or climb out alive...covered in breast milk and 2 week old unwashed dirty hair lol. And finally at the 2 and half year mark I needed a break from her...she had never been to a sitter...never spent more then 3-4 hours away from me (and that was twice over a year ago ..and she was with her dad lol) as much as I loved it and she did...its knowing when you need to step away that is key...and I did and she went to my inlaws for a week...which is 6 hours away!!! (I was so stinking happy to drop her off we got a speeding ticket on the way there LOL) The week went by fast as all hell...and yeah I cried...ALOT! But it gave me a chance to reflect on me as a mom...work on improving where I need to....and yeah I forgot why I was married...so that week with Brian was amazing!!!! I fell in love again :love:
And I do fear she will grow up to be like me...my mother was my friend never my mom...and still is this way and I hate it...so I'm attempting to do the mom first thing...its hard...but I think I can manage...Although I am scared to death about having her grow up!! OMG :( But I think we will do ok...Brian grew up alot diffrently then I did..a normal home..upper class...good folks...(and thats why his parents got to babysit lol) so he makes choices I wouldnt...being I grew up alot harder...and I think that's what hurts me the most as far as being a mama...I want to do and give her everything I never had...and I have to keep reminding myself to just give her love...for who she is not who I want her to be...thats more then anything I ever got...but sadly I fall into that parent type that buys their child everything she asks for :( I'm creating a monster....but like they say...first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one...
omg I just yacked and smacked for a million miles..sorry folks lol. I need a journal lol.
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by AkivaSmith
Please keep this in mind, not everyone needs to be married first to have a baby. Some women are able to handle raising a baby by themselves.
i totally agree! but, personally, the reason i'm making myself wait is because i'm already engaged and the wedding is next july. if i get pregnant now, who know's if i'll be able to fit into my dress then! but as soon as that's over with.....
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by python.princess
i totally agree! but, personally, the reason i'm making myself wait is because i'm already engaged and the wedding is next july. if i get pregnant now, who know's if i'll be able to fit into my dress then! but as soon as that's over with.....
An extreemly good reason to wait. Also, there is no social stigma attached to a married woman being pregnant, everyone will be excited for you.
Re: I miss my lil baby...
It's hard being a young..married and pregnant. I faced alot of rude people all through out the years I was married before I got pregnant..but the best came out after.
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by AkivaSmith
An extreemly good reason to wait. Also, there is no social stigma attached to a married woman being pregnant, everyone will be excited for you.
yes, but i wan't to show my grandkids the pics from my wedding and they say! "gee grandma! u look like u have a bowling ball in ur dress!" haha! kinda like joanna telling about her prego pix but not showing them! lol
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by python.princess
yes, but i wan't to show my grandkids the pics from my wedding and they say! "gee grandma! u look like u have a bowling ball in ur dress!" haha! kinda like joanna telling about her prego pix but not showing them! lol
I have a picture of my Grandmother and I when I was about a year old...I'm holding her hand and she is turned to the side...9 months pregnant.. no lie LOL She was 47 when she birthed her last child :D
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheAudOne
Oh I agree fully (although I dont believe everyone should get married)...my rule of thumb always is "I'd rather have one happy parent then two who arent happy" I've seen some amazing moms and dads raise kids alone and do it better then I do on some days...and then I've seen first hand two people who would do so much better in the parent department if they were split up *shrugs* But yes help is key...and for me I never ask for help..it's just how I was raised...and being a mother has changed that...we had Raigen and then moved 3 hours away from my closest family...my mother is an hour away but she doesnt like being a grandmother...or hell a mother even so we hardly ever see her...it was hard...I faced alot in our new house along in a strange town with a new baby...but I did it...your a mother...some people get that and some dont...but at that time with a new child you really get to see what your made of...you'll either crash hard or climb out alive...covered in breast milk and 2 week old unwashed dirty hair lol. And finally at the 2 and half year mark I needed a break from her...she had never been to a sitter...never spent more then 3-4 hours away from me (and that was twice over a year ago ..and she was with her dad lol) as much as I loved it and she did...its knowing when you need to step away that is key...and I did and she went to my inlaws for a week...which is 6 hours away!!! (I was so stinking happy to drop her off we got a speeding ticket on the way there LOL) The week went by fast as all hell...and yeah I cried...ALOT! But it gave me a chance to reflect on me as a mom...work on improving where I need to....and yeah I forgot why I was married...so that week with Brian was amazing!!!! I fell in love again :love:
And I do fear she will grow up to be like me...my mother was my friend never my mom...and still is this way and I hate it...so I'm attempting to do the mom first thing...its hard...but I think I can manage...Although I am scared to death about having her grow up!! OMG :( But I think we will do ok...Brian grew up alot diffrently then I did..a normal home..upper class...good folks...(and thats why his parents got to babysit lol) so he makes choices I wouldnt...being I grew up alot harder...and I think that's what hurts me the most as far as being a mama...I want to do and give her everything I never had...and I have to keep reminding myself to just give her love...for who she is not who I want her to be...thats more then anything I ever got...but sadly I fall into that parent type that buys their child everything she asks for :( I'm creating a monster....but like they say...first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one...
omg I just yacked and smacked for a million miles..sorry folks lol. I need a journal lol.
It's okay honey, being a mom is often a bit of a lonely job (they never tell you about that in those happy baby is on the way books!).
A bit of advice from a mom if you don't mind honey. Learn to tell her no and mean it, through all the tears and maybe even a tantrum or that look that will break your heart. If our kids don't learn no from a loving parent, think how it will feel for them to face a world that is often very full of no's. Helping them learn even at a young age about setting limits, wants versus needs, and accepting that they don't run their world but are a valuable part of it....those are all life lessons that will better prepare them for the world beyond our arms.
It's a tough world and as they grow you have to let them deal with it, with all it's glory and disappointments. What we teach them early on will help shape how they deal with what curves life's road presents. Too much stuff, gotten too easily or lessons that "if I cry or pout or smile pretty - I get something"...well hon think of what that really teaches a child. I'm not saying to not give in occasionally or be too tough a mom but I think it's about balance and making sometimes very tough decisions for very good long term reasons. :)
Re: I miss my lil baby...
Quote:
Originally Posted by frankykeno
It's okay honey, being a mom is often a bit of a lonely job (they never tell you about that in those happy baby is on the way books!).
A bit of advice from a mom if you don't mind honey. Learn to tell her no and mean it, through all the tears and maybe even a tantrum or that look that will break your heart. If our kids don't learn no from a loving parent, think how it will feel for them to face a world that is often very full of no's. Helping them learn even at a young age about setting limits, wants versus needs, and accepting that they don't run their world but are a valuable part of it....those are all life lessons that will better prepare them for the world beyond our arms.
It's a tough world and as they grow you have to let them deal with it, with all it's glory and disappointments. What we teach them early on will help shape how they deal with what curves life's road presents. Too much stuff, gotten too easily or lessons that "if I cry or pout or smile pretty - I get something"...well hon think of what that really teaches a child. I'm not saying to not give in occasionally or be too tough a mom but I think it's about balance and making sometimes very tough decisions for very good long term reasons. :)
I agree 100%...for sure she has changed into a diffrent person then she once was...I duh know about you but I dont call it the terrible two's because it isnt at all terrible...seeing her frustrated over something is just her growing up and becoming her own person...they learn so quickly at this age and it isnt that they are bad because they scream and fight you on everything...they have this battle going on inside...their tiny minds say yes you can do this..yet they still lack the skills to actually do it...and thats hard..heck I face those fights myself LOL...I did get used to having that child that never cried...she was always in this amazing calm...and I thought "pfftt I can have 30 of these kids...what was everyone talking about it being so hard" and I found that she was at peace because I was an attached parent...I read her like a book and knew what she wanted and needed before she did...I did everything I could in my power to insure she never cried...never felt upset...alone...scared...because I didnt want her to feel those things like I did. And now she is 2.5...and those feelings cant be cured with things...she's going to feel those no matter what I do...its just the facts of life...and I try my hardest to see her not being mean...but strong willed and I love that about her and hope that never changes...I think we allwant our daughters to grow to fight for what they believe and what they want...and at the same time I do have to step up and let her know that as much as you might want something right now this very minute...the world wont stop for you...wish it would but it wont. I do need to step up in that area...it is sad we have to teach our children the world isnt perfect and not everyone can be happy at every moment of the day forever...but again if I dont teach her they will...and I'll have to pick up the pieces when she crashes an struggles. It is hard coupled with Brian and I havent extremely diffrent views on parenting..and me becoming the parent I never wanted to be (the yelling quick to get mad kind...) and the fact that he works alot puts a HUGE amount of stress on me...and I find I get mad at him for getting upset with her over something...because he isnt home often so I figure really if you are away for 16 hours a day you want each moment with her to be laughs and fun...yet I know thats wrong aswell...I dont want her to think "awesome when Dads home I go balls to the walls and he wont do anything about it" sheesh having children is tough lol we dont get enough credit for this job for sure!!! And I dont think anyone other then a mama really knows how hard it truly is...your job is to care for someone...to help ready them for the world and at the same time try and take care of yourself...I love the moms who can do both and make it look so simple...
I think ..well hope..she will turn out fine...I think so far in this life with her I've done more then my parents ever did as far as a positive life goes..an already my goal has been met. I think she will see all that we have done for her and respect that...atleast I can hope.
Aww it's getting deep in here!!!
:hug:
