So you shared your face with us, but what makes you YOU?

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Originally Posted by tttaylorrr

as long as i've "known" you, you've always touched on this part of yourself, and have been very open about it, but this was the first time you really shared what happened. craig, i can honestly say, knowing addicts myself, that your mother saved your life. i'm sure you know this, but you gave her back the life she gave you. you're incredibly strong. i have to admit, as a person with a mental illness, for me it's too easy to abuse something for that one night of forgotten peace. yet it never helps. i always have to remind myself that it never actually helps.

keep telling your story, craig. don't ever be ashamed. if my father didn't get sober, i wouldn't existed. i've lost so many friends to heroin ODs in high school; it's huge in chicago right now. addiction in this country is a mental health crisis, and needs to be treated as such. the stigma needs to end.

you're one strong dude, craigafrechette. :gj:

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Thanks Taylor!!!

I've been honest and open with my past from very early on in sobriety. I came to realize it doesn't define me, but it's a part of my life and who I am. I'm not ashamed of it.

My mother and I have been very close most of my life, but especially since my late teens. She's got her demons as well. She suffers from anxiety and depression, is bipolar and agorophobic. So I've always just felt like we understood each other. She's a great mother and a great friend. Shes without a doubt the kindest, most caring person I've ever met.

I'm also not afraid to share my story because maybe, just maybe somebody reads it and they get the courage to get help. Or maybe somebody learns more about addiction and understands what a loved one may be going through. My father never understood, he always thought it was just me making bad choices. This is a DISEASE and it's real. It's killing people by the thousands EVERY day!. I OD'd and was legally dead for about 5-6 minutes. Narcan and paddles on my chest. Almost had a heart attack while they were trying to revive me.... I shot up again two days later!!!! Thats how real this is. So, if a million people judge me based on my story, but I help ONE person by sharing it, it's well worth it.

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Originally Posted by hilabeans

Wow Craig. Just wow. :tears:

I want to hug you and your mom.

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Thanks, I'll hug her for you next time I see her.

OK, So here's the super condensed cliff notes version.

I left NJ and joined the Marine Corps at 18yrs old. Planned on making a career of it, but fate had other plans. I went through a divorce in the late 90's and got custody of my son. I didn't want to bounce him around as a single parent, so I got out of the Marine Corps and with my living situation at the time, also had to find a home for my red tail boas. My son had some medical issues when he was younger. To look at him now, you'd never know it, but he went through 8 major surgeries and a bunch of smaller procedures and testing all prior to his 2nd birthday. I never let him use it as a crutch or a handicap. His favorite sports were football, wrestling and hockey and he played football from flag all the way through high school. He was more often than not the smallest kid on the team, but he was also the most fierce.

Once getting off Active Duty, I got into Facilities Management for my full time gig. I found myself missing the Corps, so I did go back in the Reserves a couple times. Tried my hand at a Boot Camp Style personal training business for a little while. Then I was offered a part time job in sales at a local Harley dealer. So I've been doing that on Saturdays and Sundays for about 5 & 1/2 years. Right around Thanksgiving, this past year, I added driving for Uber, because... well, I have a 20yr old in college and there will be plenty of time to sleep when I'm dead, right?

I also started a little grass roots project a little over a year ago called The Warrior Heart. I just got to thinking there are so many Veterans dealing with PTSD, Anxiety and Depression, as well as others suffering the same, or otherwise embattled with aversions to self-worth and confidence. So I began putting out videos on whatever topic I felt like talking about at the time, from leadership to communication to relationships and how to treat people, whatever came to mind really. I even learned how to green screen with my Mac. I'd also feature people that I felt exemplified what it means to have The Warrior Heart, by posting up their story and some photos, sending them a free tshirt, etc... It's taken a bit of a back seat since I took on the 3rd gig. I plan on going back to it, but haven't really had the time, focus or creative energy for it lately.

There’s a link to the Facebook and YouTube channel if anyone is interested in checking it out.

https://www.facebook.com/AwakenYourWarriorHeart/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgU...0ewUVaxQvBz93Q

And here’s a pic of me and my boy from many moons ago.

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...bf07817e37.jpg





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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Ok, I'll play along...

I grew up in Leominster, MA and have lived there or in a neighboring town my whole life. I grew up with a great family including my mother, father and brother. I seriously could not have asked for a better family. My parents were phenomenal parents and my little brother looked up to me and supported me like no other. We lived comfortably, but by no means well off. My father worked hard and often worked a second job to ensure I could play hockey and we could have an annual family vacation.
I was always a good student, a good athlete and popular in school.

I ended up being looked at by Div 1 schools for hockey, but was ultimately told I was too small at 5'8" 160 lbs. So I played juniors for a while hoping to catch on somewhere, but it never panned out. In the meantime, I went to college for accounting. I was the first in my family to go to college and had a lot of expectations on my shoulders. However, being away from home and having discovered booze and marijuana it was too easy to skip class. I struggled to pass my classes and halfway through 2nd semester was well on my way to failing all my classes. I was even failing an ICE SKATING class!!!!

Well, I ended up taking a leave of absence to avoid a 0.0 on my transcript. I moved home and got a full time job. I had a paper route as a kid and worked part time through high school, but that barely paid for my hockey sticks and gas in the car. Now I was working full time and making "good money", hahaha.

By this time I was partying nightly and having fun. I decided not to go back to school and got an apartment with some friends. By this point, even in my home town, I was no longer Craiga the hockey player, but Craiga the Kegger, I was known as a party animal. Once I realized I wasn't going anywhere with hockey I needed a new identity, something else I was good at. And I could party with the best of them. I was always surrounded by booze, drugs and girls and loved every minute of it. I had a new identity...

Well, it gets blurry from there. I can honestly say, I remember very very little of the next 14 years or so. I moved a lot, partied a lot and had a lot of fun...for a while. By the time I was 21 I was drinking and using drugs daily, and I mean real drugs, not just pot. I honestly don't consider pot to be a drug. I was tending bar and making good money, but had nothing to show for it. I lived paycheck to paycheck. I had bar tabs and dealers to pay each Friday, my bills were always late, I was constantly having phone, electricity, etc... shut off. But never went without booze or drugs. I partied daily and partied with the goal of partying til I forgot my name.

I knew a had a problem in my early 20s, but accepted that that is who I was. I knew I would die young and I knew it would be booze or drugs that killed me. I became very depressed, suicidal and unlikable. If you weren't partying with me or could help fuel my need I had no use for you. I avoided family and alienated all my friends. I was alone except for my party "friends", none of which I've heard from since getting sober over 5 years ago. Safe to say they weren't real friends.

Anyway, after 15 years of daily annihilation and burning every bridge I had, I finally hit my rock bottom. I was living in a very dark, lonely place for far too long. On the surface, I seemed like a fun-loving, crazy man. But on the inside, I had been broken far too long. In Jan of 2012 my brother proposed to his now wife. He asked me to be his best man, but told me he was afraid I would ruin the wedding and begged me to stay sober til after I gave the toast, at least and to not bring any grubs to his wedding. I promised him I would stay sober til the toast, and I did, kinda....
The wedding was in October and was a blast, I didn't ruin the wedding.
Fast forward to December...things were BAD. I knew I'd be dead or in jail within months and I didn't care. I had accepted who I was. I was an alcoholic and a drug addict and I would die that way. I had broken my leg 2 weeks before my brother's wedding (yup, was in a walking boot on crutches for his wedding) so I wasn't working. I had nothing better to do than start drinking as soon as I woke up. Well, one day I was at the hockey think watching some friends play a tournament. I got a mid-afternoon phone call from my mother. I answered, but could hardly speak I was slurring so badly, speaking Craiganese as I liked to call it. She told me I would be receiving a letter in the mail within a few days and explained that she had no choice but to cut me out of her life completely until I got help. I told her to "have a nice life" and hung up the phone. I ripped it up for another few hours until i just couldn't do it anymore. I broke down completely. I was a blubbering, broken mess. I cried and cried and cried for hours. Sometime around 7pm I called my mother, and to my surprise, she answered. I told her I was going to an AA meeting at 8am the following morning. She asked why I wasn't going that night, hahaha. I told her I was too messed up and wanted to show up at my first meeting on the right foot. I kept my word and went tothat meeting...and another one at noon...and another that night....
Well, just over 5 years later I can proudly say I am still clean and sober!!!!

I am alive again, I look forward to every day again, I want to grow old and live a full life. I no longer wake up and curse god for not letting me die and making me live another day hating myself. I went YEARS not being able to look in the mirror and look into my own eyes. I now look myself in the eye and am proud of myself. I have my family back in my life and I have an amazing girlfriend. I even managed to re-establish a relationship with my father, who I went YEARS barely speaking to.

I live a very simple, but wonderful life. I live with my girlfriend and I work as a kitchen manager/chef right down the street from our house. We have a cat, 4 ferrets, a 55 and a 75 gallon fish tank and 4 snakes.

I LOVE my life today and I am happy with myself for the first time since I was in my early 20s (I'm 39 now). I enjoy quiet nights in with the girl, and since I work mostly days now we actually get to spend most nights together.

I also see my family regularly and am in my neice and nephew's lives, which my brother has made very clear wouldn't be an option if I was still the "old me". I babysit them and even take them for weekends here and there. It means the world to me to watch them grow up and that my brother trusts me with his children....geez, tearing up typing this... I look forward to family events and my family looks forward to seeing me.

Aside from my animals, I am a music junkie. I love my tunes and often say it's my music therapy. I like to read books aboit WWII, memoirs and biographies and I am a big Boston sports fan.

Well, I feel like I just typed forever, so I'll wrap up.

@Zina10, thanks for starting this thread.

To all the rest of my friends here at BP.net, it's been great getting to know you all. I look forward to checking this forum out at least once a day and it's great to share my passion with you all and learn from one another.

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Awesome story! Keep pushin brother and remember the most important thing... You are NEVER alone!


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Originally Posted by Sgt7212

Awesome story! Keep pushin brother and remember the most important thing... You are NEVER alone!


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Thanks, my man. I'm not naive enough to think I've got it beat, it never goes away. But only I can allow it to take over my life again. And I feel more confident than ever that I'm strong enough to never let it.

Thanks for sharing your story as well. Sounds like you're an awesome father and should be proud of all you've done and continue to do raising him. Seems like you've got a great boy to be proud of as well.

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Originally Posted by craigafrechette

Thanks, my man. I'm not naive enough to think I've got it beat, it never goes away. But only I can allow it to take over my life again. And I feel more confident than ever that I'm strong enough to never let it.

Thanks for sharing your story as well. Sounds like you're an awesome father and should be proud of all you've done and continue to do raising him. Seems like you've got a great boy to be proud of as well.

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You’re welcome! And thank you! I’m far from perfect, but I do the best I can and always try to improve and learn from my mistakes. Sometimes the greatest lessons are learned from the battles we lose, not the ones we win. My son has turned out to be an amazing young man. Yes, I am biased, but he and I have a very strong relationship. We communicate well, and he solicits my opinions and advice, while understanding that I’m giving just that and not telling him what to do. He knows I’ll respect his decision and trust him to do the right thing. I really couldn’t have asked for a better son. That’s why I do what I do and put in the extra work when needed.

Of course, I joke with him and say when he graduates college he better get a really good job and remember everything I did for him and everything his mother didn’t do. Ha ha Ha


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Just remember Zina, you asked for it.

The full back story is too long and depressing but suffice it to say I am surprised that I came through my youth alive. Common story. Broken home…Blah, blah, blah. Moved a lot… Blah, blah, blah. Self medicated...Blah, blah, blah. I struggled with the concept of high school because of my intolerance for the banality of the material and the cruelty of the peer hierarchy. If had to use a reference from The Breakfast Club to describe me, I would say I looked and dressed like Judd Nelson’s character, was smarter than Anthony Michael Hall’s character, but was perceived as Ally Sheedy’s character. Even if I had wanted to, which I didn’t, it would have been pretty difficult for me to fit in. High school, in the simplest terms and the most convenient definition, was unbearable. When it ended I was finished with structured education. I am surprised that others are surprised by all of the tragedies happening in the schools these days. I’m not condoning it mind you. It is tragic. But I’m not surprised.

Today, I am 30 years a husband to a wonderful woman and I am the father of three beautiful daughters. My children are the greatest events I have ever been a part of. I am on my third career, none of which I ever wanted or cared for, but they all have afforded me a decent life so why complain. I’ve never cared about my station or the trappings of status.

I’ve loved animals all my life, and reptiles in particular. I’ve enjoyed hunting and fishing since I was a kid; not for the kill, but for the time I get to spend in quiet reflection and for the solitude and beauty of nature. Some of my most amazing hunts had nothing to do with a kill. Once I had a Bobcat stalk to within 10 feet of me through a snow covered forest. He was so close I could see his eyes darting back and forth trying to locate me. He could smell me but couldn't see me as I was in full snow camo sitting on a blown down log. In Canada I had a Timber Wolf walking below me for about 10 minutes. Beautiful. I won’t take anything I won’t eat and am very cognizant and appreciative of the animal’s sacrifice when I do. I process my own animals.

I love stories. I used to read when I was younger but now can’t/don’t find the time. Last thing I read was the Harry Potter series. I started to make sure it was appropriate for my daughters as my oldest was 7 when the first book came out. I couldn't believe how I was drawn in. I love movies. A well told or thought provoking story coupled with stunning imagery can be incredibly moving. As an example, “American Beauty”. That said, I hate what CGI is doing to the industry. It was meant to enhance the experience, but has been so overused and is so over the top that it has diminished it. Most technology is like that now, diminishing the human experience.

I love music, couldn’t live without it. To me the lyrics are as important as the melody because again, the story matters. I also believe that music is the purest form of expression. By that I mean that if there was no one to exploit it and no one consuming it, it would still be created. While the Beatles could have just as easily never happened, Paul and John were going to make music regardless.

I love live theater. Even though it is rehearsed, it’s authentic. There aren’t a dozen takes and anything can happen. Both the performers and the audience are taking a risk and are invested in the moment.

I have no use for competitive sports. I enjoy watching some Hockey but only because I’m amazed at the speed in which it is played and the ability of the players to hit a four inch hole with a three inch puck while using a five foot stick and going twenty miles an hour balanced on two pieces of steel. That's a lot of numbers. Now that I say it out loud it even sounds ridiculous. All other sports are just mind numbingly boring, in my opinion. It is tough to live in the south where everyone is so wrapped up in sports. I went to a football game once because my daughter was in marching band. There were 10,000 people at a high school football game! That’s right, 10,000. High school football. I can’t tell you how many times someone will start a conversation about sports and I just get a glazed look in my eyes.

In the third act, I play the role of a Realtor. I was once showing a property and about half way through I was asked if I knew who it was I was showing? It turned out to be a former professional basketball player. I apologized saying I wasn’t into sports and that the only time I had even remotely paid attention to basketball was back in the 80s when the Pistons were called "The Bad Boys” and I lived near Detroit. He said, “Yeah, that’s when I played”. It was Terry Cummings from the Milwaukee Bucks. And we're walking.

I’ve become pretty much a curmudgeon these days and have little tolerance for humans in general. I struggle to understand a species that is so hell bent on promoting its own worthlessness and self-destruction. The next time you get into the self-checkout line or make your own doctor appointment online, ask yourself three questions. Why have I agreed to do someone else’s job for free? How will I recover that time? What are the costs/impact on society regarding the job that I have eliminated? We’ve become so impatient that we can’t wait to do anything. So consequently we have resigned ourselves to doing everything. In the end we have less time and less resource, not more.

Now consider what AI (Artificial Intelligence) will bring in the future. The single most intelligent being in the world was lost just a couple days ago and he was terrified by the implications of AI. Well that's me. I hope I have provoked thought.

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Originally Posted by Kcl

Also, Jus1More, Westie pictures please. I grew up with a westie. She's a little brat sometimes, but she's the best. She's sixteen now.

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OMG... Your Westies is 16 yrs old!!!! That's awesome!!! My girl is going on 13 this year and she is my shadow, to say the least... Oh and the biggest diva ever!!!
She has slowed down a bunch now, but every now and then she gets that prance in her step (she thinks she is a show dog...lol) I never thought Westies lived that long, which I am not complaining because I love my girl to pieces. Taking pictures is not her favorite thing and she will actually turn away from the camera so I never get any good pictures of her. Thanks for tagging me and letting me know that you are also a Westie parent. They truly are awesome little dogs :gj:

Wow, you all. I had no idea that opening up a bit of my soul and starting this thread would turn out to be like this.
So many parallels. Fascinating stories that are LIFE. And the one thing that is shared throughout. Strength, Overcoming, Honesty, Beautiful souls.

I wish I had better words to really say what I want to say. English is my second language and normally I don't have to many problems with it, but I'm so overcome I fear my words are inadequate. You ALL are wonderful people. You all have such strength. While we are all different in many ways, we are also the same in many ways.

If there was any way that we all could meet, have a get together, it would feel like a family re-union. Like we already know each other, and well.
Thank you everybody for opening up, for your courage, your honesty.

Craig,
You are amazing, you know that ? You have literally went rock bottom and below, yet you survived. So many do not. You have went beyond the point of no return, but here you are. Your core is pure steel. To be able to come back from that, turn it around, it must have been monumentally difficult, esp. in the shape you were in.
Your story is also a love story. For your mom to have been able to do what she did, it was the ultimate gift of love. As a mother I know that this was the hardest thing she ever did. It also speaks of your deep bond with her that this reached deep within you, woke you up.
Your honesty is also a testament to your character. You want to reach out and help the ones that have given up on themselves. So many addicts, even recovering ones, are not even honest to themselves. They don't want people to know, because they want that backdoor open, to slip through unnoticed.
I'm so glad that you were strong enough to turn your life around and that you are strong enough to continue living it.

Speaking of WW2, I too like to read and hear about it. Having had family that lived through the horrors and in their old age would reveal more and more about it, I always felt it wasn't that far off, it seemed very real. It blows me away when I realize what people endured, the horror of it. The waste. I always knew my great aunt (when she was alive) was mentally sick. But I didn't know until much later why. When my grandmother and the rest of the family ran from the Russians, literally ran for their lives in the dark, through deep snow, my Great Aunt lost one of her babies. She had given birth only the day before to twins. They ran, carrying kids in their arms. My Great Aunt had one child in her arms while pushing and pulling the old stroller with the twins in it. In the panic and confusion, one of the twins must have fallen out of the stroller. In dark woods and high snow. They couldn't find it, and they had to keep running. She never recovered from that. Just some tragic stories from people caught in the middle of it.

Sgt7212

I want you to bottle up some of your energy and send it my way ;)

You are a AMAZING father !!! And you did all the parenting by yourself. Kudos, that is one of the hardest jobs there is. On top you had to provide for you and your son, and you dealt with his medical issues.
And now your son is doing well and in college and you two enjoy a wonderful father-son relationship. I have done the "single mother" thing for several years, during the many long separations due to hardship tours and deployments. Its not easy, I know.

It is amazing that you were able to do all this, plus find time for a weekend job AND to start the Warrior Heart Project. What a wonderful thing to do. To this day, so many Veterans struggle along, in need of some support and a place to share and feel listened to.

And now you also drive Uber. When do you eat or sleep ;)

Thank you for sharing, you have my deepest respect for having done the best in every way. We'll be happy to see you in the forum when you do get some down time :)