Any childfree by choice?

i am 31 and don't have kids, and kinda don't want them, and have never been pregnant. I kind of went through a phase where i maybe sorta felt my clock ticking, around 28 or so...and i was raised to want to have kids, but i've never been one of those who goes gaga over drooling babies. I LOVE my pets though.
i feel like i could be a mom, but on the other hand i'm really glad i don't have to be that selfless...and that right now i can have it all focus on me and my husband. he originally didn't want kids, and i've kind of grown to agree.

i get pretty snotty responses from people sometimes though like, telling me i will want kids, or i'm surely going to have them, and i'm weird if i don't want any...talk about judgmental.

but, i also think people who don't like animals are weird, so there ya go *lol*

I *think* my mother has been told enough times that her grandchildren will be provided by my younger brother to understand that I'm not having any. That said, I wonder if the fact that I just got married will spur her on to ask about it some more. Hopefully not, but if it does, it's no big deal to re-tell her that it's not happening. For the record, my brother and his wife have stated that they plan to have kids after they're both done with school and settled into their careers, so my mom really doesn't have to worry that she won't have any grandkids. No reason to badger me about it, given that, but we'll see, I guess...

This thread has been a wonderful read. I am so glad to know that there are others out there who feel the same way.

I'm going through these issues right now of pressure from a variety of sources, and while I'm standing my ground, it's so difficult.

Since I was younger, I had a negative impression towards having children. I just don't like kids. Naturally, I heard the same as you guys: "You'll change your mind when you're older." Well, it's taking a much nicer turn now. Those 'people' are now 'my SO's family'. Yep, I'm getting the family peer pressure. Moreso now that they have a grandson from Dan's sister and just love him to death.

But, there are so many reasons I hesitate about kids. Pregnancy doesn't scare me. It's everything else that does. Like, if I hate children, what if I don't bond to my kid like other people do? I am uncomfortable around children and babies because I have no idea what to do with them. I am uncomfortable with the idea of being stuck at home while my partner goes off to work and slowly going crazy, or losing who I am. I am scared that I won't like it, and that will ruin the wonderful relationship I have with my other half. That the comfortable life we have now will dwindle away to 'just getting by' due to costs. That we'll have to put aside our ambitions.

Everyone always says: "When you have your own kids, it's different. It's worth it." I'm scared that I'll still feel the same that I do now, or have regrets, or feel like I made a mistake... And everyone just keeps pressuring me on the subject, which makes it feel like this ticking clock. And nobody makes good decisions when under pressure. Yet, I can't keep putting it off forever.

So when people say they don't want kids, it's not always because they 'don't like kids.' Sometimes 'I don't like kids' is much more than that.

I still feel very uncomfortable with the topic, to the point I just want to tell them all: "I can't have kids, okay!" And then, if it happens later, it happens. But until then, they'd maybe leave me alone about it :weirdface

Tell anyone who's pressuring you into having children to either make their own, or go out and adopt. :mad:

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Originally Posted by Slim

Tell anyone who's pressuring you into having children to either make their own, or go out and adopt. :mad:

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:gj: It's reached that point a few times now. It's amazing how uncomfortable I feel because of what they're pushing. If it was more casual, I'd probably be more open to the idea. But the fact it comes up all the time is like: "Enough already. I get it. You want grandchildren. How about a dog instead? Lets start with that and see how it goes."

Thats the only people I can see hounding you for kids is parents, due to them wanting grand kids. But at the end of the day it's your choice and they should understand that.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Thats the only people I can see hounding you for kids is parents, due to them wanting grand kids. But at the end of the day it's your choice and they should understand that.

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It's true. I've been bugged a few times by friends with children, but they aren't nearly as assertive about it.

One of my biggest hesitations is I'm a very private person. The idea of pregnancy doesn't bother me. But after seeing the way people 'deal' with pregnant friends or family members... Like: "Ohhh when I was in labor I was in pain for 36 hours. It was terrible!" And proceed to tell them all the bad things that happened. Or ask me personal questions all the time, or get involved... Not sure how I'd handle that. I'd want to have a home birth, and that has already caused a heated discussion with the family when I brought that up :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Vasiliki

"Enough already. I get it. You want grandchildren. How about a dog instead?

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Some people just can't appreciate Grand Geckos...

I'm 37 with no kids and I hope to make it the rest of my life with none!

I'm 27 and am waiting on my appointment to have my tubes cut.

I don't want kids, neither does my gal.

To me, they're like most dogs I see. I love them, I love to play with them, I just don't want to have to take one home.