Sellers, take care Kristy1277

I think most or all of us agree that you are not owed that egg. It was your responsibility to know about eggs before you sold the snake, but I still think that this thread is warranted so we can be prepared for the nickle and diming that will likely come with future transactions. Being on the selling end of this hobby for one year has turned me from a happy pushover to a somewhat jaded skeptic when it comes to dealing with potential buyers. I guess it just comes with the hobby, and although I've never been ripped off outright, I wish I could have had some warning about certain people a year ago. I don't think this experience is a very unique case, so my advice is to expect a lot more of this kind of thing, and toughen up now. It's a shame.

Thanks for the warning, and if you decide not to make these issues public in the future, feel free to pm me with people who might be more trouble to deal with than it's worth. I'd be happy to do the same.

First of all Morphie I am so sorry you lost your fire, I have lost a cherished morph and it really sucks! You have my deepest sympathies.

As I read the thread one pattern I noticed was the empathy comments on the part of the younger folks and the reality of the situation comments from the older folks.

I think what we are seeing here is not a difference in appreciating goodness or empathy but one of lifes lessons that the older folks have dealt with many many times before. As older folks we try to teach the lessons of these experiences(not be critical as some are taking it) and unfortunately when people are emotional or hurt or frustrated they dont necessarily want to hear it.

Morphie, like me you like to do nice things for people and have had your good nature taken advantage of. I have lent friends cars, let them stay at my home, lent $ and other favors for so called friends.

I have also been disapointed when I needed a favor from someone I had done alot for and they werent intersted in helping. It stinks, it hurts, its life and you are now the wiser for it. Tuck that into your arsenal of lifes experiences and when a similar situation comes around, and it will, you will have another perspective to make your decisions accordingly. This process is something you should do with all your negative experiences, this is how we learn. Positive outcomes dont teach us much, its the negative ones that need all the adjustments, brainwork and where true lessons are learned. AKA "The School of Hard Knocks".

As a self employed business person one of the biggest things I have learned over the years is to make a decision, stick to it and move on. If it was a mistake, take responsibility, make the needed adjustment and move on. Dwelling on it makes you re-live it over and over again and as you see life will keep throwing things at you. Cant solve the next problem if you are dwelling on the last one. People who are in a rut are usually stuck in the dwelling stage.

Once again, this is much clearer to us older folks, so please dont take our comments as critical, but more as been there done that and wiser for it. (and hopefully still learning).

I am sorry you feel slighted, I am hopeful you are the wiser for it;)

Here's what I think.

First, I think I have wayyyyy too much free time of late. Heh.

In regards to this kindness and returning of the same.....

Really? Seriously? You expected to get back because you gave?

I'd say how republican of you but some of them get it.

Morphie, I consider you more aware than many I know, a person in touch with her own intelligence and value.

I think though that you're really mad at yourself but don't want to accept the responsibility for your actions. If you put it on her, that she won't "give" you back what may be the last remnants of your favorite, then she is the bad guy when deep down you know that isn't so.

It would be nice if she did and I would absolutely think very carefully before doing any business with her, but, she has no blame or fault here.

You KNOW that any kind of positive action done in expectation of reciprocation is much akin to a nice hallucination, cool but of no actual substance. I know you know that.

No one does anything they don't want to do, no matter what they say. There may be outside influences but you are a tool using primate and your brain is your primary tool. You didn't use your tool properly.

You want to be kind, you want to be nice. Neat. Cool. Good stuff and admirable as well. Of absolutely no bearing in a business deal, but ideals worth striving for.

Expecting a customer to act as you say you would were the situation reversed is foolish. Money was on the line at the time the deal was made and more may be on the line later. Money makes people suck even worse than they normally do. When it's free money, unexpected money and the chance of something like a fire is in the mix, well, you got smacked.

The bottom line is, you and you alone did this to yourself. If you must be mad, be mad at the right thing. You.

You had the option of declining the sale when you decided you didn't like the buyers attitude but you continued on. Why you continued on makes not a bit of difference. You did because you wanted to, because it was easier, I'm guessing, than stopping the transaction which may have resulted in unpleasant consequences. It seems that the possibility of those consequences outweighed your discomfort with the buyer. Deep down you know you should have told her to take a hike and, I think, you're more mad at yourself than anything else because you do know how people are.

It blows major chunks that there is a remote possibility of your special little guy's genes continuing on outside you life.

Who's fault is it that this possibility exists?

Being nice to get nice back also blows major chunks. In fact, I think it works just the opposite for those, like you, who know better.

You tempted the sisters three and they don't like that.

This buyer seems like a ..... piece. Have you considered giving her a payment to reserve first right of purchase should this egg actually hatch? She seems to be very much in favor of taking/getting just as much as she can from everyone. This leads me to believe that she may be amenable to something that would get you what you want and line her pockets with greenbacks.

She may even do it just to be "nice."

Whatever you do, put it in writing and make it public so there can be no doubting what the conclusion of any dealings you have with her should be.

In all honesty, and I'm not saying this to be mean, but I'm sort of disappointed in you.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Being nice to get nice back...

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That was not my conscious intent. I've mentioned that several times now. My conscious intent was to be friendly and helpful, but it's a slap in the face to have someone completely disregard past charity when the tables are turned. Don't act like you wouldn't also feel injured if it happened to you, because you would. It's human.

Yes, I did the wrong thing. I am here to warn others against doing the wrong thing in hopes that they will hold their ground and not get sucked into doing her favors for favor of establishing any kind of relationship, because she will take but not give. She couldn't even, out of maybe **20** waterbottles i gave her, let her friend have even one without complaining repeatedly about it. When I was obviously uncomfortable with the lowness of my prices, she continued nickel me. I declined to sell her my NFS goofy spider twice and she was still telling me to call her if I changed my mind. I have never met anyone so greedy, and when I heard that she had my fire's egg, i knew she wasn't going to give it, but i figured i had to try anyway. It was my only chance at what i had hoped, but not believed, was possible.

I'm sorry I disappointed you, but Kayoubi's in the ground, and all she cares about is maybe getting something monetary out of this. After I move, I won't even have his gravesite anymore. Yeah, I'm letting go, but not without sharing what kind of person I feel like she is.

People are capable of making their own choices. Here's my experience. That's all I'm saying.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

Don't act like you wouldn't also feel injured if it happened to you, because you would. It's human.

People are capable of making their own choices. Here's my experience. That's all I'm saying.

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If that's all you're saying, and it's beginning to sound like a poor excuse, then how come I can't make up my own mind?

I'm not going to beat you up over this but, as you said, or at least you can, I'm not sure now if it applies to me or not, people are capable of making their own choices.

You chose to do business with her knowing what type of person she presented herself as being.

For the record, I don't often feel/react as most humans do when interacting with said humans.

I should have some spiffy corns and some damnfine calkings in the next few weeks. If you want, and I want NOTHING in return, you can have your pick, just cover shipping.

It sucks that people suck, but it sucks more seeing someone in pain trying to get out from under her own responsibility. Were the situation I would hope, without expecting it, that you would do similarly for me as I am trying to for you. I know you get it.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

She couldn't even, out of maybe **20** waterbottles i gave her, let her friend have even one without complaining repeatedly about it. When I was obviously uncomfortable with the lowness of my prices, she continued nickel me.

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Witches be crazy sometimes. :P

Did you try offering her a tradeor cash for the egg, or to trade her a normal for normal, or a fire for fire when the egg hatches, so you can get back the genes of your late fire without her being out the free baby? I would try that, but I'd still be worried, because you said she wasn't prepared for any eggs or hatchlings, so even if she agreed to something she might foul up the incubation. Also, have you seen a picture of the clutch when it was laid? I'd be wondering if there were more than one good egg at the beginning, or even still, which could have guaranteed you a replacement fire with your late males genes, for the right price.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Were the situation REVERSED I would hope, without expecting it, that you would do similarly for me as I am trying to for you. I know you get it.

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I left out that key word, REVERSED (which can be typed with the left hand only) above and it's too late to edit it back in.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

It was stupid. I've been liquidating my entire collection because we're moving somewhere 1/3 as big. I didn't want to sell off everything, but I've been convinced to do it by my partner. The place is really tiny.

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Well this does confuse me further then. You want this hatchling back from her but you are liquidating your entire collection and have allowed yourself to be talked again into something you don't really want to do?????

If you are getting rid of all your snakes then what is the plan if she did give you back the hatchling resulting from this pairing. If you didn't intend to keep even one snake from the original group, I'm confused as to why you particularily want this one. I understand he's from your fire but again, I'm confused as to why you'd have room for that one but not another of yours. :confused:

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

\ If you didn't intend to keep even one snake from the original group...

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Joanna, I explained in the same post that confused you that I am keeping a couple snakes. I find your confusion frustrating, because I stated it, but maybe what I said wasn't clear and it's my fault.

Wilomn, you're freaking awesome, ok? I really appreciate your offers and you're a good guy, but I will decline with a hearty "thank you anyway". I have a hard time not giving people what they ask of me, because people's feelings about me are more important than things. I get taken advantage of, because of that.

I accept responsibility for what I did. It's my fault I don't have that stupid egg. That said, if i had known how unhelpful and lacking in charity she is capable of being, i probably would have avoided dealing with her altogether, and that's why this post exists.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Morphie

Joanna, I explained in the same post that confused you that I am keeping a couple snakes. I find your confusion frustrating, because I stated it, but maybe what I said wasn't clear and it's my fault.

Wilomn, you're freaking awesome, ok? I really appreciate your offers and you're a good guy, but I will decline with a hearty "thank you anyway". I have a hard time not giving people what they ask of me, because people's feelings about me are more important than things. I get taken advantage of, because of that.

I accept responsibility for what I did. It's my fault I don't have that stupid egg. That said, if i had known how unhelpful and lacking in charity she is capable of being, i probably would have avoided dealing with her altogether, and that's why this post exists.

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Ahhh well I guess my confusion stemmed from the "entire collection" wording.