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Kid slaps mom

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  • 06-05-2008, 08:59 AM
    littleindiangirl
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    I find it humorous when a child would threaten to call social services, and put themselves into the horrible messed up system of foster kids and social services.

    Kids have no idea how good they have it, so why not take those kids who think they would have it so much better, and let them visit with the kids who have been in the system for their whole lives because their parents actually DID abuse them, neglect them or abandon them.

    If my kid ever wanted to pull that stunt on me, I'd drive them down to the social services right away, and let them experience what it's like when you have NOBODY. I'd even let them spend the weekend there if I had to. They'd better not tell me that I've been abusing them. Ever. (well, unless I actually was abusing them, the system is in place for a reason. :gj:)

    A lot of kids are spoiled rotten and take so much for advantage, but that's the american way of life. We want everything and EXPECT to have it.

    What happened to "Life isn't fair"?

    Like the russian from the Sopranos said: You Americans always expect to be happy. In my country we always expect the worst.
  • 06-05-2008, 10:19 AM
    kc261
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jae iLL View Post
    Honestly, I blame the mother more than the child. The kid's a kid, he learned that behavior, point blank period.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Syka View Post
    But I do think that the behaviour has to be learned from somewhere. Kids just don't grow up and one day hit their mothers.

    You people are wrong. Hitting and other physical reactions to anger and/or fear are instinctual reactions. They do not have to be learned. Probably EVERY child ever born went through a phase where they hit or slapped or bit or kicked. In fact, if I had a child that never never went through this phase, I'd be extremely worried what was wrong with them.

    Admittedly, most will grow out of it while they are still very young. But my point is that you people are judging a woman based on something that you know NOTHING about. Not just the 2 people I quoted, but most people (not all) who have posted on this thread. How many of you have successfully raised a child through the death of a sibling without seeing any problems arise? Oh yeah, don't forget that you are doing this all while attempting to cope with your own grief over the loss of a child.

    I'm guessing most of you aren't even parents, much less having been through a situation like this.

    What do you think when someone who knows nothing about snakes starts telling you how cruel you are to your snake because you don't provide them with a big roomy hide (or some similar piece of nonsense)? You think they are uneducated on the subject, and an idiot for speaking out about something they know nothing about, right? Well, guess what....

    I also think maybe everyone has forgotten that this is TV. They took the most dramatic clips they could find out of probably hours of recording, and put them together to make their episode. Then the most dramatic of those became this little sound byte. How many of you can honestly say that you have never had a moment with a parent or child or sibling or SO or... that looked similar to this? Maybe not the physical strike, but from what little I've seen of Dr. Phil's shows, it seems like his method is to make people explode, which at least gets everything out in to the open, and then work from there. And from what both the child & the mom said, it sounds like he's never hit her before.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by starmom View Post
    I try hard in these types of posts to create an intellectual discussions- can't be done I think.

    Sound byte = knee jerk; Opinions based on NO experience; very little compassion overall..... crazazy and sad world.................

    So why am I trying? I dunno.
  • 06-05-2008, 10:46 AM
    Spider
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    AHAHAHAHAHAH thats hilarious man if u slap ur mom u might as well slap her hard cause u know its gonna b the last time ur gonna be doing it lol
  • 06-05-2008, 09:55 PM
    Ginevive
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    I wonder if the kid's father is abusive? If he is learning this from the father, then he has to be taught that this is NOT the way to live. If the son sees dad treat mom like that, what's the logical way that they'll treat her? If mom is a submissive who expects no better in life, and would let her husband or son treat her like this.. IMO, She is the one who needs therapy the most! (the kid too, to learn that this is not healthy.) This is just the way I see it, knowing several men that have grown up in abusive conditions and gone on to abuse their wives/girlfriends.
  • 06-06-2008, 10:15 AM
    Louie1
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    Poor mom can do nothing about it either. At least not on camera!
  • 06-06-2008, 10:42 AM
    ADEE
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    I *personally* do not agree with hitting children to make a point and certainly not when the offense was hitting. It reinforces that hitting is ok. Now there have been times that my son has not listened to direction and i have spanked his diapered bottom but not hard, just enough to hurt his feelings and get him to straighten up, that being said hes almost 4 and never gets any kind of physical dicipline, if he doesnt listen he goes to time out and those are few and far between believe it or not. Im not saying down the road hes going to be as well behaved as he is today but I do know that bringing a child up with proper dicipline and positive reinforcment instead of constant put-downs at least helps build a good foundation for the children involved. I was rarely hit by my mother and never by my father and I turned out pretty darn good.

    Every child is different, every parent-child relationship is different. i watched the whole segment that day and actually felt bad for the little kid, Dr. Phil brought out some good comments to the mother during their private talk about how she wished the daughter had been the one to live, hes being punished for living basically. The mother is just as guilty as the son IMO in this situation, she was down right mean to him in certain parts. I really felt bad for him. Im not condoning him having hit his mother, I certainly believe that is wrong for any child but considering the circumstances and his reaction after he hit her (almost ducked as if to miss a hit back) hes been pushed to the brink, some kind of negative response its to be expected.
  • 06-06-2008, 10:48 AM
    Freakie_frog
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    The main problem I saw with that was that the child had no clue how to express his feelings outside of verbal and physical abuse. This is partly due to his age and maturity level but also because he is merely a mimicking how he "interprets" what is being shown to him as an Ok form of expression of emotion's. Children can't be expected to fully understand how to express themselves even though they have the same feelings as an adult they lack a way to properly show those feelings. When parents are unwilling to listen then children learn that its ok to ignore the feelings of others. Parents should learn how to discipline on a child level and not react as if they were reacting to an adult.
  • 06-06-2008, 10:52 AM
    Louie1
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    I agree I don't hit my children for discipline and only watching what the producers want us to watch is hard to know what is really going on. There has to be more behind this than just the kid slapping his mother. i did not watch the segment but I felt bad for the kid as he seems to be really torn inside about something. Still stand behind what I said though. Parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear that they may lose them.
  • 06-06-2008, 10:53 AM
    ADEE
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kc261 View Post
    You people are wrong. Hitting and other physical reactions to anger and/or fear are instinctual reactions. They do not have to be learned. Probably EVERY child ever born went through a phase where they hit or slapped or bit or kicked. In fact, if I had a child that never never went through this phase, I'd be extremely worried what was wrong with them.

    Neither of my boys EVER hit, bit, kicked, exc.. never. They are almost 4 & 2, and no aside from a health condition (that does NOT effect behavior) there is nothing wrong with either of them. Just because other people have different views/opinions do not make them (including myself) wrong. I do not agree with your instincutual reaction comment either, i do not believe its instinct at all. Hitting, biting, kicking, exc is a learned behavior. If they do it once or twice experimenting thats one thing, but for a child to have a problem with those things.. thats learned
  • 06-06-2008, 10:54 AM
    Louie1
    Re: Kid slaps mom
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Freakie_frog View Post
    Parents should learn how to discipline on a child level and not react as if they were reacting to an adult.

    Well said!
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