A Boa of my own!

We are all thinking of you and here for you when/if you want to write, PM, etc.

Very glad Helena took F/T.

Again, no obligation to post anything. Please know you are in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.

Hoping for the best.

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Originally Posted by dakski

We are all thinking of you and here for you when/if you want to write, PM, etc.

Very glad Helena took F/T.

Again, no obligation to post anything. Please know you are in our hearts, thoughts, and prayers.

Hoping for the best.

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Ditto to what Dakski said above. Sorry to hear the news. If you do decide to fill us in, maybe it would serve as a helpful precaution for others to look out for.

Good to hear about your other new purchase taking a F/T. That's a big step for many new owners.

Everyone here has been very supportive and I honestly say that it has meant a great deal to me.

I've cleaned, and cleaned again. The infected enclosure has been wrapped and sealed in plastic and placed inaccessibly away in my basement, to be forgotten for now. Maybe in a year I'll take it out, disinfect it again and then put it away again for another year. Maybe I'll just toss it. I don't think I could ever bring myself to use it again.

After dealing with it and the clean up I've forsworn all snake keeping duties for the next week. 'Til then, my wife and daughter will need to handle the changing of water and such.

I'm a ball of stress over the whole thing. My wife tells me that I'm overreacting and that I should calm down. But I'm not sure that its possible to overact to this situation.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JRLongton

Everyone here has been very supportive and I honestly say that it has meant a great deal to me.

I've cleaned, and cleaned again. The infected enclosure has been wrapped and sealed in plastic and placed inaccessibly away in my basement, to be forgotten for now. Maybe in a year I'll take it out, disinfect it again and then put it away again for another year. Maybe I'll just toss it. I don't think I could ever bring myself to use it again.

After dealing with it and the clean up I've forsworn all snake keeping duties for the next week. 'Til then, my wife and daughter will need to handle the changing of water and such.

I'm a ball of stress over the whole thing. My wife tells me that I'm overreacting and that I should calm down. But I'm not sure that its possible to overact to this situation.

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So sorry to hear the sad news. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I recently lost one of my corns that I’d had for 5 years. It is never easy. I completely understand the need to step back for a short time. I wouldn’t call that overreacting, just needing time to process everything. Wishing you the best.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JRLongton

Everyone here has been very supportive and I honestly say that it has meant a great deal to me.

I've cleaned, and cleaned again. The infected enclosure has been wrapped and sealed in plastic and placed inaccessibly away in my basement, to be forgotten for now. Maybe in a year I'll take it out, disinfect it again and then put it away again for another year. Maybe I'll just toss it. I don't think I could ever bring myself to use it again.

After dealing with it and the clean up I've forsworn all snake keeping duties for the next week. 'Til then, my wife and daughter will need to handle the changing of water and such.

I'm a ball of stress over the whole thing. My wife tells me that I'm overreacting and that I should calm down. But I'm not sure that its possible to overact to this situation.

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JRLongton,

A few thoughts here. I know nothing I say can take away the pain and grief you must feel, but please hear me out as I, and I think others here, are trying to help, and feel the pain you are in.

First, please do not blame yourself. You didn't know you were buying a sick animal. SHAME ON THAT BREEDER! You had no idea the ramifications of buying Raz and all you can do now is move forward and do your best for the animals you have. Do your best to focus on the future, and do not let this experience ruin your passion for reptiles and the hobby you love.

Secondly, you are not overreacting. I had the same fear with Yafe (new addition, Albino Carpet, who was shipped with a delay and questionable packaging and had a full blown RI within 2 days of receipt) and although he is improving, had come to terms with the fact that I could only do what I could do. Nothing more. You did the same. The outcome was not ideal, but again, not your fault. Losing an animal, even a new addition, can be devastating. I've lost quite a few animals in my day (reptile, amphibian, mammal, fish, etc.), as well as too many family members; some too young and some quite old. It's never easy.

I am not sure your wife fully understands what Raz meant to you or what the other snakes mean to you. I wouldn't be upset with her; not everyone gets reptile love. However, we do get you and I think being freaking angry and grieving and worrying as heck right now is within reason.

Finally, I learned a long time ago the following: You cannot control your feelings, only your reaction(s) to your feelings.

If you feel pain, grief, anxiety, sorrow, anger, etc. It's what you feel. No one can take those feelings away. They are yours and you are allowed to feel them and feel them fully.

It's up to you as a grown person how you want to react to those feelings.

If your wife thinks you should calm down, maybe she's coming from a place of worry? Try to make some deep breathes and see what you need right now. Maybe it's space? Maybe it's a hug? Whatever it is, try to calmly and clearly communicate to your wife and family how you feel and what you need. I find that always helps in situations like this. Help them be empathetic and try not to put them on the defensive.

Again, we are all here for you. Feel free to post or PM anytime.

Sending positive energy your way. You will get through this.

I know this put you thru the ringer and I’m sorry it had such an end. I know when I post up things like a new snake or an achievement the BP.net family shares in the joy and I have no doubt grieving a loss is something they share in as well. I wish you better days ahead and good health for your BEL. Like Dakski said you are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

Wow what a ride, I didn't know what you were going through sorry for the little ones pain.

It reads and looks like the breeder did you dirty, to put all your reptiles at risk I would be pissed.

Getting a new pet is not something responsible folks take lightly, don't be to hard on yourself. Sounds like you picked the wrong breeder, that's the only thing you did wrong.