My mother turned off the heat mat!! :'(

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Originally Posted by predatorkeeper87

fair enough, this thread started like that thread with the kid who claimed his parents wouldn't let him feed his snakes in my book, so I said it like it was. Guess I'll bow out now since I seem to be on the minority end of things. good day gentlemen and ladies lol.

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Don't feel too bad, a lot of people probably just don't want to get involved but I'm with you. You just don't go bashing your mom publicly, makes you look like an immature teenager that doesn't appreciate what the parents have gone through for them. You don't like what your parents are doing, take a hint, it's time to be a responsible adult and move out. I went through the same crap when I got out of college, my dad was always bumping heads with me for no good reason. I got the hint and moved out. The years after that my father and I had the best relationship we probably ever had. It was just time to grow up. Op has parents that love him I'm sure but they are probably ready for him to move on but can't kick him out.

On the other hand, I do agree with some of the others, the mother is completely invading privacy and handling things the wrong way. Yes it is her house so she has the right to do what she wants but there is a much better/healthier way to go about it. Simply talk about what's going on.

My take is both Op and mother are in the wrong, Mother shouldn't invade privacy, op can move out but shouldn't bash mother publicly.

Interesting thread to say the least, may have got off topic but the new topic is more interesting anyway lol.

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Originally Posted by BBotteron

I'm not disagreeing with any of this I'm just saying this thread should be locked it's become off topic and if I remember correctly the issue is solved. Sorry if I'm coming off on the wrong way I'm a bit tired lol


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I agree. Whatever the backstory is about why the heat mat got unplugged, OP got their answer. The snake is going to be fine.

This is a snake forum... not a soap box to lecture someone on how they talk about their parents on the internet. Scold them all you want but do you really think it's going to change their behavior if they already have done it? Was it wrong? Sure. Does it really matter? No.

Just saying. Answer the questions, ignore the stuff that really doesn't matter to you or the snake. I've been shaking my head at this whole thread.


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Originally Posted by Kira

OP, how's your snake doing? I'm sure that she is okay because like others mentioned ball pythons can handle colder temperatures better than warmer ones. Try to calmly explain to your mom that it's very important that she doesn't touch any of your cords for the ball python's enclosure. I'm sure that she will understand. If not, it's time to find a new place for you and Bellatrix to live.

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Hey, Bellatrix is fine now, she returned to normal behaviour after a few hours. Thank you for asking :)

I did have a conversation with my mother about not turning off the plug socket, and she apologised profusely and seemed genuinely sorry that she'd potentially put unnecessary stress on my snake. I do have a new place to move into, but they need to re-fit the plumbing before I can move in - hopefully it will only be another month or so!! My new house is a very pet-friendly place so I'm sure Bella & I will be much happier there. :)

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Originally Posted by snakesandmoonbeams

Hey, Bellatrix is fine now, she returned to normal behaviour after a few hours. Thank you for asking :)

I did have a conversation with my mother about not turning off the plug socket, and she apologised profusely and seemed genuinely sorry that she'd potentially put unnecessary stress on my snake. I do have a new place to move into, but they need to re-fit the plumbing before I can move in - hopefully it will only be another month or so!! My new house is a very pet-friendly place so I'm sure Bella & I will be much happier there. :)

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Excellent . Happy Days !!


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I would just like to make one final post to clarify the situation to people, who clearly know nothing about my life or myself as a person, but who seemed intent on judging me and accusing me of neglecting my snake.

I pay rent to my mother. I am not living in her house for free. I do a LOT to look after her, the house, and also her animals as well. I moved back in when I graduated university because she was seriously ill and needed some help at home. Now that she's better, I'm moving out ASAP. To assume that I was living here free and being disrespectful is a gross exaggeration and very unkind.

In NO WAY do I neglect my snake. I can't believe I even have to explain this to some of you. I've had Bels for nearly 2 years, as I mentioned before, and she is the love of my life. She is very healthy and happy. When I get home at 2am from work, it would be incredibly inconsiderate to my family to turn on the lights to check on Bella's temperature etc, especially when usually the temp. is steady and the husbandry is not adjusted by anyone except myself (usually). We have a small home and sound/light permeate very easily, and because my mother is a light sleeper I choose not to wake her up because that would only cause more issues.

Issues, which include the invasion of my space. I know perhaps I shouldn't have labeled my mother as an 'old bat', but I'm sure you'd be angry too if someone had impacted negatively on the welfare of your living creature whom you love. As a human person, I feel I deserve the right to have my own personal space in a home WHICH I PAY RENT IN. To have my belongings (which I paid for with my own hard-earned money) moved, stolen, broken, or adjusted without my permission is not okay. Especially when that impacts on Bellatrix and her wellbeing.

As I mentioned previously, there has never been an incident like this before as I always make sure she is at the right temperature, fed, and cleaned. I think the more judgmental and, quite frankly, rude people among you should take a long, hard look at yourselves. Yes, this is a public forum, and freedom of speech is allowed, but you really needn't have been so rude. I was worried for my snake, and angry at the flagrant disrespect of my mother and the way she potentially endangered a living being. I wanted a simple answer and some advice. Someone asked me why she turned off the heat mat, so I answered honestly. I don't feel I should have been trolled and put down as much as you have been doing, since none of you actually knew my living situation. Just because someone is older than me, doesn't entitle them to full respect, especially when their behaviour is sub par.

In future I'll keep my questions short and simple so I don't hurt the sensitivities of those of you who can't bear to hear about a human being living a human life with human problems.

Finally, I just want to say thank you to those of you who actually provided me with solid advice and were understanding about the situation. I came here for advice and moral support that my baby would be okay, and I am now happy that Bellatrix will be fine. :)

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Originally Posted by snakesandm
oonbeams;2511566

Hey, Bellatrix is fine now, she returned to normal behaviour after a few hours. Thank you for asking :)

I did have a conversation with my mother about not turning off the plug socket, and she apologised profusely and seemed genuinely sorry that she'd potentially put unnecessary stress on my snake. I do have a new place to move into, but they need to re-fit the plumbing before I can move in - hopefully it will only be another month or so!! My new house is a very pet-friendly place so I'm sure Bella & I will be much happier there. :)

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Now THIS is the kind of post I like to see. I'm glad the noodle is feeling better, and I'm glad you've hashed everything out with your mom. Also congrats on your new place.

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Originally Posted by snakesandmoonbeams

I would just like to make one final post to clarify the situation to people, who clearly know nothing about my life or myself as a person, but who seemed intent on judging me and accusing me of neglecting my snake.

I pay rent to my mother. I am not living in her house for free. I do a LOT to look after her, the house, and also her animals as well. I moved back in when I graduated university because she was seriously ill and needed some help at home. Now that she's better, I'm moving out ASAP. To assume that I was living here free and being disrespectful is a gross exaggeration and very unkind.

In NO WAY do I neglect my snake. I can't believe I even have to explain this to some of you. I've had Bels for nearly 2 years, as I mentioned before, and she is the love of my life. She is very healthy and happy. When I get home at 2am from work, it would be incredibly inconsiderate to my family to turn on the lights to check on Bella's temperature etc, especially when usually the temp. is steady and the husbandry is not adjusted by anyone except myself (usually). We have a small home and sound/light permeate very easily, and because my mother is a light sleeper I choose not to wake her up because that would only cause more issues.

Issues, which include the invasion of my space. I know perhaps I shouldn't have labeled my mother as an 'old bat', but I'm sure you'd be angry too if someone had impacted negatively on the welfare of your living creature whom you love. As a human person, I feel I deserve the right to have my own personal space in a home WHICH I PAY RENT IN. To have my belongings (which I paid for with my own hard-earned money) moved, stolen, broken, or adjusted without my permission is not okay. Especially when that impacts on Bellatrix and her wellbeing.

As I mentioned previously, there has never been an incident like this before as I always make sure she is at the right temperature, fed, and cleaned. I think the more judgmental and, quite frankly, rude people among you should take a long, hard look at yourselves. Yes, this is a public forum, and freedom of speech is allowed, but you really needn't have been so rude. I was worried for my snake, and angry at the flagrant disrespect of my mother and the way she potentially endangered a living being. I wanted a simple answer and some advice. Someone asked me why she turned off the heat mat, so I answered honestly. I don't feel I should have been trolled and put down as much as you have been doing, since none of you actually knew my living situation. Just because someone is older than me, doesn't entitle them to full respect, especially when their behaviour is sub par.

In future I'll keep my questions short and simple so I don't hurt the sensitivities of those of you who can't bear to hear about a human being living a human life with human problems.

Finally, I just want to say thank you to those of you who actually provided me with solid advice and were understanding about the situation. I came here for advice and moral support that my baby would be okay, and I am now happy that Bellatrix will be fine. :)

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Rather than beat a dead horse here, I'll just say the fact you were taking care of your mom and paying for a room changes the OP dynamic considerably.

I made observations based on the info provided, which was incomplete. I can assure you if you took what I or anyone else in this thread said as rude then you haven't experienced enough life yet lol, as there was nothing in this thread bordering on "rude".

I still think you have a lot of learning to do in life, but that's up to you to do my dear. You are young, I'd consider all the posts in this thread and learn on them rather than take offense, its simply better in the long run.

Again, I'm glad the snake is fine.

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Originally Posted by predatorkeeper87

I only used 3 simple lines initially, everyone else seemed to have an issue with it so it turned into a conversation. I didn't see any tempers lost so I wouldn't call it intense. Certainly not as intense as that thread with the kid who said his parents were going to starve his snakes to death, which to me was the same situation...a kid blasting their parents about the care of their animals....

I guess it all just depends on people's moods when they swing into a thread, and the passive aggressive use of quotation marks lol.

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I certainly was not intending any aggressive tone. In fact I was feeling quite jovial when I posted. That being said there is a difference between being straight forward with your answers and forcing advice on someone.

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Originally Posted by predatorkeeper87

Rather than beat a dead horse here, I'll just say the fact you were taking care of your mom and paying for a room changes the OP dynamic considerably.

I made observations based on the info provided, which was incomplete. I can assure you if you took what I or anyone else in this thread said as rude then you haven't experienced enough life yet lol, as there was nothing in this thread bordering on "rude".

I still think you have a lot of learning to do in life, but that's up to you to do my dear. You are young, I'd consider all the posts in this thread and learn on them rather than take offense, its simply better in the long run.

Again, I'm glad the snake is fine.

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I'm sorry but this is exactly beating a dead horse.

You made assumptions about OP. Yes, your comments (and the comments of others) were rude because you made said assumptions. Those assumptions cast the OP in a pretty negative light - Bad pet owner, disrespectful to parents, free-loader, ungrateful. And as it turns out, OP is none of these things. They were just having a really stressful moment, as most human people with emotions have. So yeah, it is pretty rude.

I really don't understand why you feel the need to focus so heavily on OPs age and life experience... this is a snake forum... not a life coaching site. And it is extremely rude to tell someone they don't have enough life experience or that they have a lot of learning to do in life when you don't know this person. I don't know this person. But I do know some pretty grown up 23-year-olds that would find this generalization pretty offensive.

Call me old fashioned, but when a member calls their parent a "total idiot" and "an old bat" (especially when it's in their first two posts), I don't find that the least bit respectful regardless of the circumstance and I find it hard to overlook those words. I don't judge people based on their age, but I sure as heck will judge them based on their actions. Actions can change, though, and I'm glad to read about the happy ending. It just took a long and winding road to get there in the course of this thread!

This post reminds me of the job interview question, "Have you ever had difficulty working with a supervisor or manager?" When that question is asked, they're not really asking about your past supervisors - they're asking about you. They want to know how you are to work with. The answer you choose to give them will tell them more about you than about your previous boss. So, if you launch into a story about how your old boss yelled at everyone, or was unreasonable in his or her demands, or was a bad manager, the only message they will get is that you bad mouth people. If you talk about how your boss accused you of not working hard enough when you clearly did, they'll assume that you're someone who doesn't work hard. If you mention a boss who played favorites, they'll think you're a difficult person to work with. So, you have to be very careful about answering this question - even if you had legitimate complaints about your old boss. And, lots of bosses earn every one of those complaints. You can't say so. It's never a good idea to bad mouth your former boss for any reason. Keep in mind that any story you do tell should be the Disney story - positive and with a happy ending.

If the OP's question would have been phrased as if it was the situation, not the person, that was difficult, this thread would have been very different. In the end, the OP took proactive steps to resolve it in a mature fashion and the end result was a productive one. Hooray.

Having said all of that, that portion of this thread has run its course. I'm sure we all learned a thing or two from each other which, ultimately, is the goal of this forum. Now, if we could learn a few more things about snakes and less about the OP's personal life in this thread going forward, that would be great. Thanks!