Short stupid jokes

i don't think the term "sense" is involved there at all. :picknose:

Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day. They both go before an angel to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in.

The angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, whereupon she takes off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be see them every day for eternity."

The angel asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into the toilette and pulls the lever. The angel said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What's this all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down, and she simply gargled and got in. Would you explain that to me?" "Sorry, Dolly," said the angel, "but even in heaven, a royal flush beats a pair, no matter how big they are."

This one is horrid and a bit disterbing but the one about the cat reminded me

Whats worse than 10 babies in one trash can?............................................................................ .........................
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One baby in 10 trash cans

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs??

A: You can call him anything you want to, he still won't come to you.



Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: The same place you left him.

Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again."
To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will five times!"

I was checking something on bash.org and since this one is reptile related I figured I'd post it.

Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable

on the same vain: If buttered bread always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on its feet, then if you strap slice of buttered bread, butter side out, on the back of a cat and drop them they will spin indefinently just above the ground :P