Need advice..

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Originally Posted by carlson

How can you be a resident if out of the kindness of my heart I let you sleep on my couch? He paid no rent broke more than a few things, an didnt have more than a back pack. Far as I see it I own where I live your not a resident unless I have said this is where you live, if I say you can crash on my couch for a couple weeks while you find your own place. This isn't your residency this is a I'm being nice. Not trying to sound like a jerk ha just confused, I understand residency an I think it's a month in Minnesota. But from what I understood it was a you had to be living there have your things there, pay rent or have some kind of stake in that house some how not being someone who's aloud to sleep on the couch a few nights? Bah feel like I'm rambling trying to understand sorry

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If you read the OP, the druggie uncle has lived in the house for five years, not just a few days or weeks. So, forcing him to leave could require Grandma to seek a formal eviction IF the druggie uncle is smart enough to force her down that path. That is why I suggested the OP learn the legal process to get it done.In your particular case most likely your friend (or ex-friend) wasn't present long enough to be classified a resident, but you do have to be careful about being kind in the future. You wouldn't be the first person where "a few nights on the couch" stretched out to a few weeks, then a month, then the mail starts arriving and the driving license gets changed, and you have a real problem on your hands.

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Originally Posted by Bobbafett

Im an adopted child. My grandmother fostered me since I was 7 days old. She tried to adopt me when I was older, but they told her she was too old. Basically she got her daughter to adopt me so they could keep me:

My grandmother is a wonderful person, but hates confrontation.

5 years ago she let her son, his wife and 3 kids move into her basement. Since then, they broke up and his wife and two kids now live in town.

Her son is a despicable person. He claims he can't work because he hurt his neck. The government gives him over $1500. He doesn't work, just sits downstairs, plays video games, watches tv, and smokes drugs and cigarettes.

He has no respect for my grandparents. My grandfather is 87, and his health is failing. No one in the house smokes other than him and myself but I go outside. Grandma even had a doctors note saying the smoke isn't good for my grandfather but he still continues.

He makes my grandmother buy him food, smokes, and he uses her vehicle, on HER gas. He doesn't do anything around the house.

He comes upstairs and drinks all the coffee she buys for the Kerig. He doesn't buy any, but drinks all the ones she buys for papa.

He's even physically attacked his brother when Kirk (the brother) was drunk. Which resulted in Kirk falling down a flight of stairs.

He has a 16 year old daughter who lives with him. She's basically his slave. She cooks, cleans, and looks after him. He pays her back with alcohol and drugs.

Yesterday he came after me. Told me I'm trash, I'm useless, no one loves me and they all feel sorry for me. Says I'm fat and lazy and threatened to beat me.

She heard everything and did nothing.

I'm at the point where I just want to leave. My dilemma is that he will be able to continue using her without having someone there. He truly believes its HIS house.

I don't know what I expect for a response. I guess I just need to vent. I'm stressed, and angry.

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First off, I'm sorry to hear this. That sucks and hopefully I can give you some kind of idea at least.

What I would do is call the cops and tell them that you think he's selling/making drugs and he threatened to do you bodily harm if you said anything, and make sure that you say you feared for your life, that exact wording has a way with law enforcement. When they come and search his room, they find drugs, hopefully it's something besides weed or enough of it to convict him. Now while I don't really deal with the cops because honestly the law is ignorant most of the time, I am however a Correctional Officer. I'm sure I'll catch hell for that, but you know what, if you can get him out of that house, and away from them then it was worth it. Best of luck man.

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Originally Posted by bcr229

If you read the OP, the druggie uncle has lived in the house for five years, not just a few days or weeks. So, forcing him to leave could require Grandma to seek a formal eviction IF the druggie uncle is smart enough to force her down that path. That is why I suggested the OP learn the legal process to get it done.In your particular case most likely your friend (or ex-friend) wasn't present long enough to be classified a resident, but you do have to be careful about being kind in the future. You wouldn't be the first person where "a few nights on the couch" stretched out to a few weeks, then a month, then the mail starts arriving and the driving license gets changed, and you have a real problem on your hands.

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Thanks was just confused. I know what's been up ha sorry I derailed everything!

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Originally Posted by BrandiR

Contact your local equivalent of Department of Human and Family Services. I'm not sure about Canada (a quick google search indicates that there are laws there too to protect the elderly), but in the United States, DHS will step in on situations like this just like they would if a child was being abused.

Whether or not your grandma's situation would meet the legal definition of abuse, I'm not sure. If a report is made and someone looks into it, they may find that you're uncle is just a jerk and not in fact an abuser. If this is the case, they won't take any kind of legal action. But it would still open the door for your grandparents to utilize the system to learn that this isn't cool and it isn't acceptable. I'm sure grandma would be put in touch with groups or individuals who are dealing with the same thing that would help give her the courage to stand up for herself.

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Supplying drugs and alcohol to a minor (his daughter) is most definitely child abuse, or at least endangerment.

Well i think you should not leave her alone now because she was with you when you were alone but now its your turn to stay with her. I think you also love her so you should not leave that home.