Holiday trouble with my family :/ Snake related

It seems theres too many shows on tv diagnose collectors with phsycological problems. How is it any different than ranchers that raise cattle or horses and sell for money. I could understand if you had 27 cats in cages up to the cieling but i think the problem lies in your moms misunderstanding of what "owning snakes" really is.

When i tell people that i own 10 snakes they envision a house full of dirty tanks and cages . In reality its a corner of my bedroom with a asthetically acceptable rack. It doesnt take much money owning them. Maybe a visit or even a webcam walkthrough if your house will clear things up a bit

Steffe, I don't know what to say. I am so very sorry you are dealing with all of this. My parents also do not approve, but they do at least try to understand. I am extremely fortunate. But I can also fully imagine just what you're going through. I will keep you in my prayers that you and your parents will find some common ground. Try to remember just how much you love each other and hopefully they will remember that too. Love can open all kinds of dialog and increase understanding. I do not have any other words of wisdom or advice - I just wanted you to know I support you and all your efforts to mend those bonds.

:hug:

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Originally Posted by Evenstar

Steffe, I don't know what to say. I am so very sorry you are dealing with all of this. My parents also do not approve, but they do at least try to understand. I am extremely fortunate. But I can also fully imagine just what you're going through. I will keep you in my prayers that you and your parents will find some common ground. Try to remember just how much you love each other and hopefully they will remember that too. Love can open all kinds of dialog and increase understanding. I do not have any other words of wisdom or advice - I just wanted you to know I support you and all your efforts to mend those bonds.

:hug:

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Thanks Kali!! :) I'm sure with time this will all blow over eventually. I think my mom is just forgetting that her little precious baby is grown up and can make decisions on her own. I don't ask her to approve, just to understand and accept it. It isn't going away. I'll admit I am a little afraid to speak to my mother at the moment.. I feel like all she will do is either shut down and not speak to me, or scream at me :( I just can't believe she could be so angry with me over this... of all things. She is acting like I am some sort of disgrace.. :( I just want her to realize I am the same person I was before she found out about the snakes. Nothing has changed about me.

Sigh. I've never been close with my mother. It is hard to mend a bond that wasn't that strong to begin with. I am a very independent person and I have been from a young age. I don't really seek the affection of my parents.. but I do value their support whether it be financial or not.

An update of sorts..

I've been talking with my dad. My mother is still angry with me, but my dad doesn't seem to care. My moms birthday is this weekend, so I got her a gift certificate for a long massage which I will send along with a card and a handwritten note. I was going to mail it out today... but I woke up and saw a post she had made on facebook:

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After 'Tweeting' with this 18 yr old for over a year, a friendship of sorts has developed. She is a devoted Keith Urban fan, and although there is a vast age difference between us, there are many commonalities.

My new friend, recently was accepted to an Art and Design college in Nashville, TN. She comes from a 'Po-Dunc' town in Texas, is very humble and has had to take out all kinds of loans to move to Nashville to attend this school.

I just love to read her 'Tweets' she's always up beat, never complaining about her hardships( of which there are many ), and always inspiring to others.

Today she 'Tweeted' about needing to get up at 4:00 am to be ready to catch the bus at 5:30 am to get to school, so she could finish a paper that was due for class.

I thought about this all day. Why in the world was she getting up so damn early. It dawned on me that she must not own a computer. Later in the day I confirmed this with her.

At dinner, I discussed this with my husband and we decided to buy her a computer, printer, all the necessary software, a serge protector and any/ all connecting cords.

Needless to say she was so happy. She couldn't believe this was happening. I only asked her to get good grades and become successful, of which she promised to do.

She will never know how much happiness she has given me. Seeing how generous and loving this young girl is has been inspiring and so moving to me. Believe me when I say she's lead a hard life. I'm proud to call her my friend, and look forward to her many accomplishments she will have in the future.

Oh...one quick caveat. As soon as my friend got settled in on campus her first 'Tweet' was..." I'm so happy... my dorm apartment is right across the street from a mini-mall'. Tomorrow look for a job.

This my friends is what gives me hope for the future of 'America':)

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This post really bothered me.. Its like she has found a new daughter to be proud of. This is like a punch in the face.. :( I'm not mad that she is helping other people out... but buying a stranger a laptop and everything that goes with it? I'm sorry but to me that goes a little beyond being simply generous. Its like she is finding a new girl to replace me.

I don't need my mom to buy me things to make me happy.. I just want her to be proud of me, even when I am doing something she is not particularly fond of. I want her to talk to me like a normal person instead of bringing up things that may cause conflict. I can't believe this is happening.. It just makes me want to give up on her. Seems like she has found happiness elsewhere with someone else's kid.

:tears: :tears: :tears: :tears: :tears:

I maintained, though I didn't say it, that it needs to be your mothers own volition that this gets resolved. If that's the way she wants to play it, then let her have her day. Don't let her know it bothers you, and hey, why not post about successful feeding days while you're at it. ;)


Although, I'm a vindictive person and can stand not talking to family...

Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy SIII using Tapatalk 2

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

I maintained, though I didn't say it, that it needs to be your mothers own volition that this gets resolved. If that's the way she wants to play it, then let her have her day. Don't let her know it bothers you, and hey, why not post about successful feeding days while you're at it. ;)


Although, I'm a vindictive person and can stand not talking to family...

Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy SIII using Tapatalk 2

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Yeah, I know it has to be my mom... but I'm concerned she will just not let this go.. or at least she will keep bringing it up and complaining about it :(

I don't let her see any of my posts on facebook.. I don't really talk with my family that much, but I don't want to be cut off from them all together.. This sucks

Wow.


It sucks to start to become an adult and realize your parents aren't superheroes. It sucks even more when they're actively foolish, immature, and communication-deficient people. I'm not calling your mom that, just citing a lot of observation I've seen myself and my close friends make.

Good news is that interaction with family becomes a choice as an adult.

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Originally Posted by MrLang

Wow.


It sucks to start to become an adult and realize your parents aren't superheroes. It sucks even more when they're actively foolish, immature, and communication-deficient people. I'm not calling your mom that, just citing a lot of observation I've seen myself and my close friends make.

Good news is that interaction with family becomes a choice as an adult.

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I never thought my parents were superheroes, I've always been sorta independent.

That is exactly what my mom is. She is ignoring me for such a trivial reason... I just wish she would forgive me and we can get on with our lives.

Like I said, don't let her know it bothers you. Make movements to go back to how it used to be, pick up old routines like calling home. Call your dad, ask how his day was, etc. Then pop the how's mom question. Follow up with can I talk to her. Act like nothing is wrong.

At least, that's what I'd do.

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

Like I said, don't let her know it bothers you. Make movements to go back to how it used to be, pick up old routines like calling home. Call your dad, ask how his day was, etc. Then pop the how's mom question. Follow up with can I talk to her. Act like nothing is wrong.

At least, that's what I'd do.

Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy SIII using Tapatalk 2

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Ya know.. I never really called home much because it always ended up being a discussion about something I was doing wrong, or should have done, or should have done better.. Its gotten better after I've graduated and gotten a job, but my mother still likes to bring up things that she knows will upset me.


And to be truthful, I am still kind of scared to talk to her :(