horrible.....

Definitely sounds like you made a good decision. This is a good forum, and many of the members here are helpful and usually willing to send a bit of good advice.

The girlfriend doesn't really understand any of my hobbies, but usually is alright with me doing my own thing. I don't know though, if I was ever given an ultimatum, I can assure you that it would backfire on the person trying to control me. I am a human, and I am my own. Try to remember that about yourself.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Jealousy is all....

Jealousy is enough.

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Bingo. In fact, jealousy is THE thing - and usually a sign that it will go downhill hard & fast. Trust me, I've been there done that!

P.S. I moved earlier this year with 25 snakes, and didn't leave any behind... I also didn't tell my landlord I have 25 (now 31) snakes, actually I didn't mention even one. Just sayin'. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by 3ofSwords

But you also said it was because of a new landlord? Ehh well idk what to say on that except I wouldn't move if it means givin up my animals.:colbert:

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Yeah, that too! In the last 17 years (since high school) I've moved probably 20+ times, and never gave up any pets just because I was moving... first thing I ask when looking for a new place is "do you allow pets," and if the answer is no I'm not moving there. I am mostly referring to the dog & cats, of course, since I figure anything caged is on a "don't ask don't tell" policy. ;)

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Originally Posted by Lolo76

Yeah, that too! In the last 17 years (since high school) I've moved probably 20+ times, and never gave up any pets just because I was moving... first thing I ask when looking for a new place is "do you allow pets," and if the answer is no I'm not moving there. I am mostly referring to the dog & cats, of course, since I figure anything caged is on a "don't ask don't tell" policy. ;)

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I so love that policy haha thanks for making me laugh lol yeah I need to get a racking system for all my snakes.....and the 2 that are coming.....

P.S. Glad to read now that you left the dud... if that's what you really wanted, of course. Don't worry, you will eventually find someone else much better - and years from now if anyone asks about this ex, you'll say "who??" :P

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Originally Posted by python_addict

I so love that policy haha thanks for making me laugh lol yeah I need to get a racking system for all my snakes.....and the 2 that are coming.....

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Yes, it is a good policy! LOL

Rack systems are great, not to mention easy to "mask" from people who don't need to see your snakes. Just drape a sheet across the front, and voila - it's a creative bookshelf or decorated dresser! :D

I didn't go through and read all of the comments yet, I am just all fired up over reading the OPs thread! Ultimatums are NOT okay. I would NEVER EVERRRRR ever! get involved with someone who told me something like that. Take it from me, who got married young and had a child young and was in a very abusive and controlling relationship, that is a red flag of things to come. I went through hell to get where I am now.

I am now in a relationship and I am SO happy. My boyfriend was aware that I come with my son and my animals. And he is completely aware that I will not change for anything. Compromise of course is key, I know there will be times I want something and really shouldn't, and won't. He would NEVER tell me "me or the snakes", to me, that's like saying "me or your kid". It's part of who I am, and part of who you are! Don't change that! If he's not okay with your passion then let him walk, because I guarantee you will find someone who will be okay with it, and will love you for it, and will not get in the way of it.

Sorry for the rant, this kind of thing just drives me crazy. Gives me flashbacks to my ex husband...ugh :rage:

Edit: I just want to add that my boyfriend never disliked reptiles but he never thought he'd get into them. He now bought a male ghost ball python, a red foot tortoise (which is mine, I just tell him she's his lol), and he's getting a bearded dragon this weekend.

Second post..

I just read that you left him. Only you can know if you made the right choice, but from my end you did. I was married young and stuck it out for 3 1/3 years before I finally realized that trying to control something as "small" as what I love to do turned into controlling everything. Getting jealous over something you love is a red flag, period.

Like someone else said, be strong. It only hurts for a while, you just have to look at the bigger picture. I was stupid enough to get into another unhealthy relationship after my ex husband, I went through a lot of pain but stuck through it. Now, all that hard work has paid off. I'm so happy, with someone who accepts me even with everything. My son, my pets, my job, everything. Good luck, if you need someone to talk to you can always PM me. For my age, I've been through it.

Just now seeing this too.. I read it all and I'm proud of you. I have had many relationships go bad, and you are stronger now because of this. It was a learning experience and now you know not to let guys treat you that way.

My fiance thought getting a snake was cool, but he is disinterested most of the time. However sometimes I come home and he tells me he took one out to show a friend or just to look at it. He doesn't do it often, but I can see him gaining interest very slowly.

Just find someone that accepts you and everything you do, no matter if they like it or not. And don't go searching for someone just yet. Take time to heal, and then someone will pounce on you when you last expect it to happen.

And willomn is correct ... there are lots of guys out there that don't know they are good guys yet, nerdy types etc. My fiance is the prime example... He had never had a girlfriend, was on the baseball team in high school but never talked to girls. Was a class clown but very shy towards the opposite sex. A mutual coworker told him I liked him on his birthday and said he should message me and after much coercion he did. We fell in love almost immediately, and he is the best guy I have ever been with, sweet, caring, knows all the right moves and he never has been with anyone else. I couldn't ask for better. Look where it may be unexpected :)

So proud of you girl!!! You said yourself it was a good thing, now when days get tough and you are feeling down, just remind yourself that You said It's a good thing!

It will get better and easier every day.