All Women Should Read This

Might want to chill on the political bashing. Unless you want this to be moved into the QT room, where posts go to die...

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After Raven01 came in, that is...

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Originally Posted by xFenrir

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After Raven01 came in, that is...

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No, seriously. Everyone just put him on ignore and continue on as usual.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

User CP
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Ahhhhhh, so peaceful and sane.

I recommend everyone give it a try.

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And like that... POOF.. he was gone.

Hahaha. For some reason I pictured a girl being named raven..

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

It takes a special person to be a woman, that's for sure.

Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy SIII using Tapatalk 2

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Yea, because we get sooo much choice in the matter lol.



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Originally Posted by Raven01

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tol·er·ant:

/ˈtälərənt/AdjectiveShowing willingness to allow the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.

I can allow the existence of your opinions and behavior and still think those opinions and behaviors are so wrong it makes me want to stab myself in the brain.

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The Milgram experiment was creepy. The "guards" definitely took little time to become excessively abusive towards the 'helpless' "prisoners". One thing that they never seemed to mention(maybe because at the time it wasn't really a theory?) was how a group that has the same opinions will reinforce the opinions more and more. It's like a feedback cycle that spirals downward.

So if the guards believed it was maybe okay to push the prisoners around if they misbehaved, next it was okay to push them around if they looked like they might misbehave, then it was okay to physically threaten, then physically abuse...

When you have a group of like-minded say... frat boys, and they are talking how "girls that go to bars are just asking for it..." they will reinforce the idea among themselves, until it seems reasonable to force a girl to have sex, or to drug her with date-rape drugs, etc. Afterwards, when the rapist is singled out and by himself, he will often express incredulity that the police or witnesses don't agree with his opinion/attitude and sometimes even realize how wrong it was. This is not peer pressure either... it's a group sharing/feedback loop.

The same thing can happen with a group of women or girls, where the attitude may start out with "She dressed provocatively and went to a bar with a bunch of guys..." or "she was dating him and led him on" and it becomes progressively more tolerant of "versions" of rape and sexual assault. Where a typical housewife might call the police if some stranger grabbed her breasts in the supermarket, in a rowdy bar, a woman might laugh and think it's funny. Thus the confusion is generated as to "What IS sexual assault?"

Sorry for rambling. Human behaviors is something I like to study.

This thread depresses and infuriates me: for what has been done to some of the posters and for some of the things that have been said and how callous some of the responses have been. I have a wife, a daughter, a mother-in-law, etc. that mean the world to me and to think of someone doing something to them and to then have someone else further inflict harm on them by blaming them absolutely infuriates and disgusts me, both as a human being and as a man, let alone as a father and a husband. This world doesn't value the "lesser/weaker/gentler" sex (labeling much?!) and that is amply demonstrated time and again the world over in various ways: the "glass ceiling" in the work place, the one child policy in China that values male children over females, how women are treated in Afghanistan and other repressive countries that hide behind religion to justify second-class citizenship, etc. I hate this and I'm sorry for what's been done to some of you and I'll hope that peace and healing finds you.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

The Milgram experiment was creepy. The "guards" definitely took little time to become excessively abusive towards the 'helpless' "prisoners". One thing that they never seemed to mention(maybe because at the time it wasn't really a theory?) was how a group that has the same opinions will reinforce the opinions more and more. It's like a feedback cycle that spirals downward.

So if the guards believed it was maybe okay to push the prisoners around if they misbehaved, next it was okay to push them around if they looked like they might misbehave, then it was okay to physically threaten, then physically abuse...

When you have a group of like-minded say... frat boys, and they are talking how "girls that go to bars are just asking for it..." they will reinforce the idea among themselves, until it seems reasonable to force a girl to have sex, or to drug her with date-rape drugs, etc. Afterwards, when the rapist is singled out and by himself, he will often express incredulity that the police or witnesses don't agree with his opinion/attitude and sometimes even realize how wrong it was. This is not peer pressure either... it's a group sharing/feedback loop.

The same thing can happen with a group of women or girls, where the attitude may start out with "She dressed provocatively and went to a bar with a bunch of guys..." or "she was dating him and led him on" and it becomes progressively more tolerant of "versions" of rape and sexual assault. Where a typical housewife might call the police if some stranger grabbed her breasts in the supermarket, in a rowdy bar, a woman might laugh and think it's funny. Thus the confusion is generated as to "What IS sexual assault?"

Sorry for rambling. Human behaviors is something I like to study.

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I think you're referring to the Stanford/Zimbardo Prison Experiment, rather than the Milgram Experiment, though both apply to the point I was initially bringing up :)

Yes, I always forget the names. The Milgram was also extremely creepy, but the prison/university student experiment was what I was referring to.

Any authority figure has a lot of sway over a person, making them second guess obvious facts just by disagreeing and expecting the person to realize they are wrong and the authority is right.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

Any authority figure has a lot of sway over a person, making them second guess obvious facts just by disagreeing and expecting the person to realize they are wrong and the authority is right.

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Well crap, that's what the problem is. I have this thing about just accepting anyone's opinion as THE opinion.

Thanks Wolfy.

This was a good read.....I'm a strong supporter of the 2nd amendment, especially when it come to a woman protecting herself from some sick werido. Ladies if you can, get you license to carry a concealed firearm, and be safe. And don't just go and buy a firearm, invest in some pistol self-defense classes, and hit the range about once a month.

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Originally Posted by supertiger retics

This was a good read.....I'm a strong supporter of the 2nd amendment, especially when it come to a woman protecting herself from some sick werido. Ladies if you can, get you license to carry a concealed firearm, and be safe. And don't just go and buy a firearm, invest in some pistol self-defense classes, and hit the range about once a month.

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Except this won't work with places where firearms are banned. I.e it's legal to have a concealed firearm in Oklahoma, but it's illegal to go to say a college with it. I'm not sure if this extends to just the buildings or to the campus grounds as well.

Some have asked why victims don't report abuses.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukne...ainst-him.html

This is so tragic.

I cannot imagine what kind of person you have to be to intentionally destroy an abuse victim on the witness stand.

Hope the lawyer is happy.

[yeah, I know...she was 'just doing her job']

Here is another example for anybody idiotic enough to think any form of rape or sexual assault is easy for a victim to define

The terms DO result in different convictions and punishments regarding the application of the law.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Except this won't work with places where firearms are banned. I.e it's legal to have a concealed firearm in Oklahoma, but it's illegal to go to say a college with it. I'm not sure if this extends to just the buildings or to the campus grounds as well.

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From my very limited knowlege on it, some/most of the times it extends to leaving it in your car at these places. I'm not going to give legal advice on this, but I'm pretty sure you could guess where I stand on this.

The whole thread really reminds me of what I used to teach children as a karate instructor when we were going over how to deal with strangers and attacks/abductions. Be smart, be vigilant, and if need be, hit hard and BE LOUD!! If they're pulling you, be dead-weight..don't just stumble with them. You know, how kids throwing a temper tantrum are like a wet noodle. Kick shins, stomp their feet with your heel, kick their crotch, gouge their eyes, and punch their throat. All of those are effective regardless of size. Getting kicked in the groin is not a fun event, even with a cup on. Trust me.

I'd also like to just echo some things previously said: PLEASE get training in self defence, and go for more than a couple weeks. You need to really be used to the movements for you to actually use them under stress. I also suggest concealed carry, classes, and consistant training for it. If you're going to pull a weapon, you better know how to use it.

Attacking people that fight back: "Aint nobody got time fo that!"

Reading these pages makes me glad I have friends who do cage fighting for a living, so I take mma classes, they're wicked fun, good workout, and an awesome way to learn how to open up a can of whoop a** when you need to.. That's my suggestion for self defense classes..

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Originally Posted by Anatopism

Here is another example for anybody idiotic enough to think any form of rape or sexual assault is easy for a victim to define

The terms DO result in different convictions and punishments regarding the application of the law.

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I honestly can't even believe that! That seriously ticks me off!

And here is a post debunking that stuff

http://wafflesatnoon.com/2013/01/08/...-rapists-eyes/

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Originally Posted by SquamishSerpents

And here is a post debunking that stuff

http://wafflesatnoon.com/2013/01/08/...-rapists-eyes/

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It's not about debunking stuff, there is no Field Guide to Rapists, there is no set anything to identify one.

The thing is, they're out there. If you read the whole thread you read a couple of posts by women who did not know some of the things mentioned in the article I pasted. It also got people talking. Some shared their horror stories and one idiot showed just how stupid and narrow minded otherwise intelligent people can be when they don't understand the real world.

Squamish, do you have kids? Any females if you do? A sister perhaps, a mother no doubt. Maybe a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, this is hardly a female victim only crime. If you have anyone you care about who is automatically a potential target simply because of gender or size or partner preference, then maybe you can comprehend why I posted this up.

Take into consideration as well that for everyone who DID share there are probably dozens, if not more, who remained silent, but suffered no less than those who shared. There's Grannies and babies and boys and girls, men and women being turned into victims every day. I'm thinking that anything that can help that not to happen is a good thing. Of course this wasn't meant to say "do this and you'll never be raped." It was simply meant as a starting point for those who maybe haven't considered it.

Had I not talked to my female offspring about this, and from a young age, I don't know that anyone ever really would have. I know a lot of parents never have talks like that with their girls. I think that is not a good thing. I think that anything that makes them more aware, more confident, more able to deal with a potentially deadly situation IS a good thing. It would be far better if there were no need to ever have these conversations, but doubtless you, like me, know that simply isn't going to happen anytime in the near future.

I think, well I know actually, that this post was originally made for the women specifically on this site, most of whom are fairly young and almost all of whom are the type of people who look for the good in everyone because they simply haven't seen first hand how little regard some people have for life itself, little say those upon whom they prey. I think, in that regard, this thread is a success. People will think, people will watch, people will be aware in new ways because they read what was written, not just by me, in this thread.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Had I not talked to my female offspring about this, and from a young age, I don't know that anyone ever really would have. I know a lot of parents never have talks like that with their girls. I think that is not a good thing. I think that anything that makes them more aware, more confident, more able to deal with a potentially deadly situation IS a good thing. It would be far better if there were no need to ever have these conversations, but doubtless you, like me, know that simply isn't going to happen anytime in the near future.

I think, well I know actually, that this post was originally made for the women specifically on this site, most of whom are fairly young and almost all of whom are the type of people who look for the good in everyone because they simply haven't seen first hand how little regard some people have for life itself, little say those upon whom they prey. I think, in that regard, this thread is a success. People will think, people will watch, people will be aware in new ways because they read what was written, not just by me, in this thread.

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Exactly. My dad is a police officer. I was raised by someone who sees the worst of the world on almost a daily basis, but instead of fear he taught me to be aware, listen to my instincts, and respect the FACT that some people are just evil, regardless of whether your spiritual beliefs include such things. I didn't realize until college how many women didn't really get this simple fact. I picked up friends crying on the front steps of frat houses who really just thought they were there to hang out (and were sober). I scolded friends who tried to invite strangers to hang out alone because "they seem nice". I berated friends that walked to their cars alone at night. Were all of these guys would-be rapists? No. Were my friends stupid? No. Did they really believe it could happen to them until they had a brush or direct encounter with a dangerous situation? Hell no. Evils like rape, stranger or otherwise, can never be overcommunicated. It is our responsibility as people in this world to talk about it, warn others, give advice, listen with empathy and a willingness to believe, and ACT when something this horrible happens or "almost" happens.

I appreciate the intention and discussion on this thread, and it's sparked some memories I haven't thought of recently.

I've hindered a could-be predator, on a zombie walk once with about 30 other friends in Lincoln, NE. We were all dressed as zombies walking downtown, for funsies...I had shorts and a tanktop hidden underneath, but on the outside, it looked like I was just wearing a towel (the goal was that I'd been zombified immediately after stepping out of the college dorm showers). I was trailing behind with a couple others, and noticed a guy hovering over a girl that was glancing around nervously. I approached them both, in polite zombie fashion, and asked the girl if she was ok while stared up at the guy. She was very uncomfortable, stuttered a response, unsure. I told her that if she wanted to leave and go find her friends or call somebody, she could go now. She nodded and left. I stared at the guy a few seconds longer, then joined my zombie cohorts.

In a second situation, my friend and I were at another friend's house, and as we were all gathering to go somewhere else, a neighbor (and his friend) approached me... their names were Juan, and Milton (not a common name, particularly for a latino male that hardly spoke any English, I think this is why I remember them). Juan was VERY pushy and kept insisting my friend and I take him down to he corner gas station real quick on our way to wherever we were headed. I flat told him no, sorry, we didn't have the room. He was in my personal space, trying to 'herd' me away from the others, and I was firm and direct with him.... shortly after, he tried doing the same thing to my friend. She is a competent and intelligent woman. Her parents were both professors at one point (one math, one law) and her mother is now an attorney (specifically aiding in putting sexual predators behind bars).... it's not like she's ignorant to what can happen... but she was still susceptable, didn't really know how to answer Juan, because she didn't want to be rude. I grabbed her arm and pulled her over to me and used myself as a 'shield' between them, and informed him once again that we would not be taking him anywhere. I informed the friends we had been visiting, and we left after being escorted to my car.

I don't give a damn if Juan was just a legitimately nice guy who wanted a bag of Doritos from the local 7-11, and I offended him. He was being rude, manipulative, and intimidating, whether he intended to or not. I'd rather him feel bad that a couple girls turned him down, than end up never viewing sex the same way again, or needing to comfort my friend. I've been held up at gunpoint as a child with my family before.. couldn't do much of anything about it then, but I've always been hyperaware of my surroundings while out in the world. I've had a couple friends who have been in horrible situations, and I've become not only protective of myself, but very protective of those I care about, or those I see in a sticky situation. I mentioned somewhere earlier than I'm not very strong.. pretty weak in fact, but I'm not an easy target, and neither are those in close proximity to me.

It's sparked a good discussion for sure, I just really hate seeing the typical "copy and paste/share/forward this email" stuff going around again and again, when some of it is just completely inaccurate.

I get them all the time from my boyfriends Grandad, and I always have to tell him not to believe everything he sees. We almost got into an argument at dinner one time about the reverse PIN at the ATM thing. He was 100% certain it was true!

The MAJORITY of rape occurs from someone YOU ALREADY KNOW. Husband, friend, relative. Often in a place you would be COMFORTABLE IN. Rapists tend to look for people who are weak and timid looking. Talking to a stranger in an elevator, looking at his face reduces your chances of being a victim. "Hey, do you have the time?" Smile and look confident, don't be burdened with stuff. That can save you an assault. Plus trust your feelings but don't rely on them alone. Rapists tend to go after weak victims, LIKE KIDS. Not all people who molest kids are actually pedophiles, they are just smaller and easier to assault or convince!!

The clothes you wear are WAAAY less important than the attitude you have and being alert and aware of your surroundings. Not paying attention will get you trapped!

I showed my mom this, cause she's tiny, 5'0", 105 lbs...her response, reached in her purse and pulled out a .38 special :weirdface. Same caliber I carry with me, at 6'0 185. Hahaha I didn't even know she had a gun!!!!

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Originally Posted by SquamishSerpents

It's sparked a good discussion for sure, I just really hate seeing the typical "copy and paste/share/forward this email" stuff going around again and again, when some of it is just completely inaccurate.

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This was not one of those copy and paste things, I don't do those.

I thought it had relevance to members here so I posted it up.

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Originally Posted by darkbloodwyvern

The MAJORITY of rape occurs from someone YOU ALREADY KNOW. Husband, friend, relative. Often in a place you would be COMFORTABLE IN.

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Just want to say that this is true. That's what makes it more scary.