britney spears... such a shame

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

as parents we don't 'make' them a role model... the limelight does it automatically.

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As parents, we're supposed to be the role models, although many parents today have relenquished that duty. If the position is filled, all the media exposure in the world won't be able to turn a media icon into a role model.

i disagree. i am a role model for my kids. i homeschool them, i'm with them all the time... being an example of what a strong, independent woman 'can' be. i work hard at learning new things all the time and sharing those things with them. i self taught myself to create my magazine... which has been online for 5 years now. i meditate with them, teach them our spiritual beliefs and listen to them... lots of listening to them.

i have a great open loving communication-filled relationship with them throughout their growing years...

i was there... being a hands-on parent... but she still watched movies and listened to music. our no makeup - no sexy clothes till she was 16, always knowing where she was, who she was with and where they were going... very hands on parenting didn't stop her from (and wasn't intended) having her own dreams, fantasies and role models outside of the home.

she totally looked up to my soul-brother... who was not nec. the best role model but i wasn't about to lock her into her room till she was 19. :P

in the end... my 21 year old daughter looks more like paris hilton than me. even though i did my very best for 18 years... she's left the nest, decided she doesn't really like me anymore and seldom speaks to me. :rainon:

could i have done anything different or better? not that i can think of, i really did do my best...

was i a bad role model for her? not in my opinion... but everyone who touches her life, whether in the physical or simply through the media has the potential to become a role model in her eyes.

bottom line: parents may want/feel/desire to control their lives but they can't control their children's thoughts.

Sarah, how do you think I felt when That 70's Show came out! Here are my kids laughing at the hair do's and the clothes and I'm sitting there thinking..."good gawd I dated Hyde!" :eek:

LOL Jo, I can't imagine how that felt. I love That 70's Show, that whole group could have been my older siblings and their friends.

This is very true, Aleesha. We can set a great role model for our children but their thoughts are their personal thoughts that may or may not be shared with us and ultimately they will decided who they wish to be like. In life we learn more lessons from mistakes than by accomplishments. And it is difficult as a parent to watch our children make mistakes and to be influenced by negative outside forces. I myself was a rowdy young man in my day but by the time the dust settled and i was in my 30's, the values my mother showed me came shining through and all the other influences of the week fell by the wayside.

If you give you children the proper values they may stumble and may fall but after they learn the hard way(and we all do at some point) they will eventually realize my parents just wanted to help me not control me. That is one of the biggest battles we face as parents is kids ignore us because they feel controled, not cared for and yearn for independence and as Frank said doing it my way.

As far as Brttany I wish I was as fat as her LOL. Her performance was bad and dress inappropiate but the rap culture is what really concerns me. It promotes gang violence, crime, treating women like Ho's and pimping them out and killing cops etc....

This is far worse than being a seductress which has been going on since the dawn of time. not that i feel it's right, but the other is down right terrifiing and a much more negative influence on society and our children.

Excellent post Raul! I wasn't Miss Perfect growing up either, I know I gave my poor grandparents sixty fits on occasion. I do remember, however, the day after I became a parent when suddenly their voices came out my mouth! I about fell over when I realized I was saying things to my kids that they had said to me and I finally understood the wisdom and love behind those words.

One of the greatest gifts my oldest gave me was about a year or so ago when she was 18 and out on her own. She called me late one night (I nearly had a heart attack figuring it was something bad when the phone rang at 2 a.m.). She was up talking with some other girls her age and wanted to call and say thanks mom...thanks for being there...for being sometimes tough on me....for loving me when I wasn't very loving back....for standing by me whatever I did even if you thought it was dumb, dangerous or just a phase.

Let me tell you folks there's nothing in life Kate could ever give me that matters more than that one phone call in the middle of the night. Being a parent is sometimes so terrifying, so full of worry and fear for the kids and their future and did you raise them right or screw it all up. I'll still worry and second guess myself I guess, but I'll always hold that middle of the night phone call close to my heart. :)

that is beautiful jo... thanks for sharing it with us :hug:

Great post, Raul!

Of course parents aren't the only role models or influences for their children. And I see nothing wrong with looking like Paris Hilton, but I would seriously question the sensibility of a child who chooses to ACT like her.

Than again, the only thing I saw wrong with Brit's costume choice was the fact that it didn't compliment her body.

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

that is beautiful jo... thanks for sharing it with us :hug:

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You're welcom hon, I'm feeling a mite mushy today. My first baby will be 20 next month! How in the world did 20 years fly by so quick! I'm not done raising her yet! I'm pretty sure I need to go back and change some stuff LOL (she still does NOT appreciate the fact that I milked a dang goat for her! rotten child! LOL)

There are days I look in the mirror and cannot believe I'll soon have a 20 year old "child". I still feel 20 some days myself, how does this work? :D

i have no idea. mine turns 21 oct 31st and is getting married within a few days afterwards...

and i still feel 30-something!