Any stepmoms?

i am also a 'step-mom-to-be.' but, ben is now 3 and i've been with matt since he's been a month old (him and his ex broke up before she found out she was prego) so i can't really give any advice on the whole transition thing since i've been in his life as much as matt has. basically, though, at our house, matt and i are on an equal level as far as taking care of and/or disciplining him. i often have ben by myself on saturdays when matt is working. and we had him for about a month beginning in june so i had him on my days off and if matt had to work late of whatever. but if matt is around, and he's being naughty, i'll usually let matt handle it! lol. not so much because i don't want to get on ben's bad side but because matt's better at being intimidating! lol.


but, as far as getting along with her, like everyone else has said, don't try too hard. at that age it's really important for her to feel like you see her as a young adult instead of a child. i'm sure you'll do fine... sounds like you already are! have fun!

Being one with step parents the best advice I can give you is that you can't force a relationship. Either your personalities will mesh or they won't. The relationship that exists between your spouse and his ex will factor in, as will your step child's relationship with his ex...

The best that you can do is be yourself, don't force things, and give it time. Things tend to work out in the end, and teenagers are difficult regardless of whether they are a step child or a biological one :) The fact that you're concerned enough to ask for advice shows that you've got a lot more potential than most.

I am so glad that yall had a great day!! :) If you need any more girls hanging out there, my daughters and I would love to come play too!!! LOL I have two young horselovers here (well 3 if you include myself). It is just a shame that around here the stables that I have talked to are so concerned about liability issues that they won't let a 4 yr old in the stables to feed a horse a few carrots even if I would be there next to her the whole time. Hey and I am sure that my son would chase the chickens around some more for you!! LOL

But seriously, it sounds like you are well on your way towards a great relationship already!! Just keep it up!! The more fun stuff the yall do together, the more interests you'll find you have in common, plus she may find new interests from you and you from her, and that just gives you that more more to do with and learn from each other!!! :)

Yeah, things went good :) I am definately sure now though, that I do not want to have kids. I am so anal about time by myself/alone with Mark, I cannot imagine anyone permanently infringing on it! I can definately handle her coming over on weekends though. And I have thought it through; if something happened to her birth mother, and Mark had to gain custody, I would be able to live with it. I thought long and hard about this before he proposed to me.
But it is a very healthy situation. Mark's ex told his daughter exactly why her parents split; she cheated on Mark. His daughter told Mark this.. it is so refreshing to see a person telling a kid the truth instead of accusations flying or lies.. And also, Kat said that she likes me, and thinks I "am cool" (not bad praise from a tween!) She is actually still 12, going on 13 this year, and a tad bit hyperactive; they have her on anti-ADD meds. Kid wakes up and says "oh, I gotta take my meds!" and I nearly had a heart attack. I am not a fan of giving kids meds for ADD, but I admit to not being very up on why it is done, etc. She is definately a hyper-speed kid, but many are..
She loved telling me all about her pets, camp, her brother, etc. I am not being overbearing nor aloof. Seems cool!

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Originally Posted by Shadowspider

My kids LOVED Ghost Rider... Nicolas Cage, meow baby! He and I have the same birthday (not year, but date) :D
Sounds like the day was a complete success!!!!!
*Happy pee pee dance*

I'm a bit baffled though, you're profile says you live "only in a jeep"? Where do you house the horses??
:P

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LOL; that is a Jeep-person quote.. you know, how the ads say "only in a Jeep.."? See, I was scared to drive since I was 16. I finally got my license a few yrs. back, but all of the cars I tried driving intimidated me. Now, I have a Jeep Wrangler and love it! I actually look forward to driving every day now.. I know, I am a crackhead.. ;)
I actually rent a farmhouse with my fiancee and our menangerie. And a very understanding and laid-back landlord helps that!

Well, if you're a crackhead then heck, I don't know what I am!!! :O
Granted, I can't drive because of my vision, but... I get all freaked out just going for a bike ride and having a car pass by me. LOL
But, in all honesty, I'm an excellent driver... it's just that steering thing that throws me for a loop. I could put any drunk to shame. :P

You get to rent that??? MAAAANNN, now I've even more jealous! :(

Ah :) It can be tough to make those judgement calls; turning; do I have enough time or not? If I think not: why is the guy behind me blaring on his horn? And later: why is the person in front of me going 20 in a 55mph zone? Lovin' driving, lol.

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Originally Posted by Ginevive

Ah :) It can be tough to make those judgement calls; turning; do I have enough time or not? If I think not: why is the guy behind me blaring on his horn? And later: why is the person in front of me going 20 in a 55mph zone? Lovin' driving, lol.

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*sighs in relief* Being legally blind DOES have it's good points! I think if I could drive I'd either kill everyone else on the road with me or I would be the one who reinvented road rage. :taz: