An idea for everyone on BP.NET

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Originally Posted by Ginevive

What an awesome post!
I think that bad experiences in life are tests. It is kind of like how metals can be hardened in fire..
I had a pretty lousy childhood and adolescence; but like Aud was saying, I would not have had things any other way. I would never be where I am right now if it weren't for the events and people (even the worst of the low-lifes among the ones I thought were my friends.) I should be a mental case in an institution now, thinking back to all of the stuff that happened to me; all the near-misses (though I hate that phrase, lol) it is a wonder I am even still alive. Somteimes you really need a big slap in the face to wake up and realize you're killing yourself. For me, it was getting pregnant at age 17 and going through a stillbirth.. add to that, using drugs, sleeping on people's floors, alcohol.. Instead of succombing to all of this, I turned my life around after this incident; I am drug free; I work hard at a fulltime job, am a mama and 90% caretaker to 2 horses and a ton of other pets (LOTS of cleaning for me!) and have an awesome fiancee; life is going in a great direction.. I swear, if you fight your way through and put your head up above those who fall by the wayside, you WILL find a better future; you have to really make it happen though in this world!

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I've been saying the last year or so that everyone has life paths. Life paths are roads our lives take, and on each bend and curver there's a lesson to be learned and a keep sake memory that is good or bad to remember. I never got into drugs or alscohol to the suprise of everyone. I know right and wrong. I know if I hold a plate in the air, and drop it that it will break. So why do it? I'm not in anyway talking about people on here. I'm basing this all on my mom, dad and sister. They are know the outcome of your actions.

So here I am in my room looking at everything I worked for and bought with my own money that I earned. I also think of the people I care for and respect and who respect me in return. I think about my parents and how my mom would purposely OD on pills to sleep for days on end. Or my dad lying continuously to my grandma to get money so he can buy heroin, shoot up in front of me and pass out for hours or a weekend. I think of my sister who is single mother and only the only reason she is a mother is for attention. She is now divorced from a guy she knew for 6 weeks and she works as a stripper and has to deal with things on her own all 'cause she has had multiple chances to clean up her act, but has buried herself into her own hole. I also reflect on the fact I had a terrible junior high experience and was made fun of horribly an dropped out in 8th grade. But I returned to continuation school and graduated with a B average. And without the special people in my life none of this could have been achieved. That's why I left them know that I appreciate them

I spent 10 years on and off being a front line worker in a women's shelter, assisting women and child who were affected by domestic violence. I learned a lot about life there (especially that hurting someone has little to do with fists) but if nothing else I took away one life lesson I'd like to share here.

Sometimes life makes you a victim or you put yourself in a place where you become one either of a situation or of a person. You may have had no choice about being victimized (or you may been unable through the effects of drugs/alchohol to make good choices). The important thing is not that event. The important part is the choice you make afterwards to be a victim or a surivor. Here's a simple definition from Webster's that speaks volumes to me.....

Victim: an unfortunate person who suffers from some adverse circumstance

Survivor: one who lives through affliction

I don't see any of you in this thread that are "unfortunate" persons. I see a group of people that "lived" through something and yes, were changed by it...but living, striving, failing but getting back up, succeeding or nursing the flame of hope that you will. That folks is your ultimate triumph.

If you remain a victim you remain locked in that place and time. You let that person or set of circumstances continue to win every day that it still affects how you live or how you see the person staring back in the mirror. There is so much grace and power in a survivor, there is so much sadness in a victim. I'm very proud to be a part of a forum with so many of you that show that surviving hell is possible and are strong enough to share their stories in hopes that it might touch one reader and help them on their journey.

what a great thread. random acts of kindness... whether they are words or actions create memories which last a lifetime and beyond...

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Awesome posts, Jo and Vom. I am glad to be on the right side of the coin now. It is much better here. :)