I want to buy every python I see- everywhere.

Ok she didn't say she was going to get them NOW. I want a retic but that's years down the road. Plenty of time to do research. You guys are acting like she wants to go out and buy them this week. Pretty sure she was talking more about an eventual plan after everything has been lined up. She even specifically said future loves not right now.

And retic doesn't always mean 20+. Semi and super dwarf? And I'm along the same thought process as Kodieh. My first boa is a baby. Now I'm sure I'd be a little.. not finding the right word.. overwhelmed? to just buy a 9/10 foot female to start with and handle as my first non BP snake, but I got her as a baby and will get used to the size and mannerisms as she grows and I handle her all her life.

And if you want something further down the road, getting experience with the final result or even just hanging out with various snakes along the way is still reasonable preparation. If she gets it today or a decade from now, there is a lot of good to be had in experiencing the reality and being better prepared for an easier time and smoother transition when she does.

And frankly if she wants one that bad, the experience would be more fun than hardship.

I really harken back to my argument of how many people preach about having a stash of vet money lying around and actually don't have it.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

I really harken back to my argument of how many people preach about having a stash of vet money lying around and actually don't have it.

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...I'm not seeing a connection. Unless you're calling people hypocrites, which is fine if you want to go there - But I don't think it's a particularly productive line of discussion. Nor do I know what you would know about the bank accounts and financial status of most people claiming to have a vet fund.

Ya'll she asked a question about how to deal with the disagreement with her boyfriend, please keep it there.

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Originally Posted by Marrissa

Ok she didn't say she was going to get them NOW. I want a retic but that's years down the road. Plenty of time to do research. You guys are acting like she wants to go out and buy them this week. Pretty sure she was talking more about an eventual plan after everything has been lined up. She even specifically said future loves not right now.

And retic doesn't always mean 20+. Semi and super dwarf? And I'm along the same thought process as Kodieh. My first boa is a baby. Now I'm sure I'd be a little.. not finding the right word.. overwhelmed? to just buy a 9/10 foot female to start with and handle as my first non BP snake, but I got her as a baby and will get used to the size and mannerisms as she grows and I handle her all her life.

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Ya but what happens if as the snake grows, and suddenly passes by the 14-18' range and you realize that no matter how much you have learned about your snake and its manorisms, you are in over your head. So now you get to rehome another large constrictor and another sanctuary has to take one in.

Thats why my advice is to find someone knowledgable with giant snakes and do a mentorship with them, learn the ropes, and find out if your dreams are really what you want.

Retics are a commitment (as well as burms and gators) for a long time and in a big way.

No problem taking it slow and making wise informed decisions.

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My husband isn't a reptile fan, but he wasn't a cat fan either lol. We've had several cats now because they decide not to come inside at night and a coyote has had a snack, or they move to "greener pastures" with people that don't mess with them and take them to a vet to get shots lol. I have 3 balls and am looking at a pastel male right now. I talked it out with him and as long as he doesn't have to mess with them, I sanitize my hands, and our children are safe he's fine with me having them. I would love to have a building dedicated to reptiles. Now on the gator subject there are too many things that can go wrong. They haven't changed since the time of dinosaurs. I'm from the south where I had to be careful of them. They are also my VERY FAVORITE reptile. They are unique beautiful animals that are not for the faint hearted. I would much prefer them staying in the wild instead of a home. If your significant other doesn't like reptiles talk to him, unless you are sure he's not the one you want to marry. Respect his opinion instead of just over riding him. That's a sure way of ending the relationship.

Since the post asks how to deal with the boyfriend: consider the possibility that he doesn't want you to rush into things that are big responsibilities or could pose a safety risk to either of you. Alligators are not appropriate animals to be pets. Is this an opinion? Sure, but it's coming from someone who has had an alligator as a pet. Burms and Retics - I am under the opinion that these should be treated like venomous snakes where a permit and an apprenticeship under a licensed keeper is required. Have you ever held a burm? Have you ever held an adult rabbit in tongs and had an animal that size slam it? Have you had one miss their strike and look at your face like it's your fault they didn't connect? How about taken a bite from any of them?

You said you had a bp, beardie, and a boa. How long have you had each of those? I have always kept reptiles, but when I started to get into ball pythons I found myself becoming obsessed in the way you describe in the opening post. Take a deep breath, try to imagine the long term - these animals can live 20+ years. That obsession does decrease a bit over time for most people and for some it decreases entirely. It's a lot easier to rehome a bp or a beardie than a boa. An adult retic or burm, especially with the Lacey act? Forget it.

I guess the point here is - even if you end up disagreeing with your boyfriend, take some time, go slow, and enjoy yourself. If you're getting so much satisfaction from your 3 current reptiles, what's the rush to go bigger?

I guess I'm a bit torn on this one. Relationships are about compromise, if you can't compromise the relationship will fail. That said, this may be one of those things that you are unwilling to give up, and if that is a deal breaker for him, and you can't compromise, then it's probably best to end the relationship now and find someone who shares your passion. If you were already married to him and had children, then you would be forced to find a middle ground (or tear apart a child's family selfishly IMO), but this is a boyfriend, and I assume you don't have children with him, so it may be time to break things off if this dream means more to you than the relationship. If you are going to own those huge reptiles you will need a partner to help you handle them anyway, you can't handle those reptiles on your own as adults, they require 2 people. On the other hand if you are the kind of person that jumps from passion to passion every other year and the whole reptile obsession is new to you, then he may just be trying to stop you from making a decision you'll later regret.

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Originally Posted by Kodieh

I really harken back to my argument of how many people preach about having a stash of vet money lying around and actually don't have it.

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How about a healthy line of credit? ;)

Getting back to the OP, keeping larg(er) snakes, venomous snakes, crocs, etc. on your property means embracing a certain lifestyle. You will need to purchase a certain amount of property/land to maintain them as no sane landlord would permit a tenant to have them. You need resources lined up after the essentials for yourself and your family are covered. Forget travelling - vacations will be staycations, and yet you will still need a backup plan to have people with the knowledge and ability to care for those animals when life throws the inevitable curve balls at you, and you can't do it. If you ever have to relocate, local, state, and federal laws will dictate where you can and can't live if you want to keep your pets, never mind whether or not there is a decent exotic animal veterinarian in the region.

My guess is that the OP's boyfriend wants a different kind of life for himself, especially if the OP's animals entered the picture after the boyfriend - he's probably thinking "I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!". As has been noted, the animals you want to keep also require two handlers for safety, so OP needs to find someone who will share that passion if she is serious about pursuing it.