First off, this is the first thing that came to mind when I saw this thread:
http://2pep.com/funny%20pics/worlds%...appy-Snake.jpg
You might be a ball python keeper if...
It's feeding day, but you have food poisoning so you drive to the pet store with a trash bag in the front, 'just in case' because you won't push their feeding back a day like everyone tells you to (last week for me)
You can rationalize the idea that you don't really need air conditioning in your car, that Piebald male though, you really could use that!
You imagine your future house and it has a reptile in about every room with it's own fancy home made cage!