Pun and Games

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey we have a drink named after you" and the grasshopper says





Wait for it . . .





"Really, you have a drink named Steve?"

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

OMG this thread is so PUNNY

Bad psychology pun...

Two psychologists were out ice-skating. One was a follower of Freud's philosophies, the other was a follower of Carl Jung's. As they were skating, the psychologist who studied Freud hit a bad patch of ice, and his feet went out from under him, and he fell flat on his rear.

His friend just started laughing and laughing, and couldn't stop. Irritated, the man brushed himself off, stood up, and said, "What's so funny?"

The Jungian recovered, took a deep breath, and replied, "Sorry, but that's the first time I've ever actually seen a Freudian slip!"

Hah!

There was once this town band that was led by a young and inexperienced director.

In the band was this guy playing the cymbals who never came in on the right beat. They practiced and practiced but he never could get it right. So the frustrated conductor said, "If you don't get it right this time I'll kill you."

When the time came for the percussionist to play his cymbals, as usual he came in late. And so the maddened director pulled out a gun and shot him dead.

The police came and arrested him. He was tried, convicted and after exhausting all appeals eventually wound up on death row. Finally, the day came when he was sent to the electric chair. As the crowd gathered and watched with anticipation, the executioner pulled the switch ... but nothing happened. The executioner checked the connections, checked the chair, tightened down all the straps and threw the switch again. STILL nothing happened. Everyone was wondering what went wrong.

But the band director knew what was happening. Filled with remorse by all that had taken place, he cried,







"I never was a very good conductor!"


:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thor26

OMG this thread is so PUNNY

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:rofl: 10 points! :judge:

Again... great stuff!

What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married?





















Can't elope.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?


Board!

Mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says "I'm sorry but I can't serve you" and the mushrooms says "why not? I'm a fungi (fun guy)"