Not to be evil...

This thread brought up a great discussion.

I think it is an unfortunate thing about how society is today that many people feel the need to "sanitize" the world for their kids. As someone mentioned, some kids don't realize that the chicken, beef, pork, etc they eat used to be a living animal. To me, it seems there is something wrong with hiding that from kids, but many parents these days seem to do it.

On the other hand, little kids can form very strong attachments to their pets, and while they may know that the pet snake eats other animals, they may not want to see or know that one of the animals it ate used to be one of the other pets. My 5th grader knew the rats we borrowed for her science project were bred to be snake food, and might end up snake food when we gave them back to the breeder. She was ok with that. But she was quite definite and clear that she did not want to which ones or how many were kept to be breeders or ended up as food. And I was ok with that.

I am really glad my wish to take this to a bit of a deeper level was not interpreted incorrectly and I'm glad that some people are digging looking a little deeper than just the OP's initial thoughts and questions.

I have known many kids these days who really think that water comes from a sink and food comes from a store. I know a bunch of kids who have not seen any death at all. Our roads are cleaned of road kill quickly, our elders die in hospitals and other institutions, and death these days is more thought of as defeat (or something) than as a natural process. Heck, with so much plastic surgery going on, people don't even seem to grow old anymore!!

I fully realize the trickiness to parenting and wanting to protect our children and their feelings. I often feel that we are protecting them from what we were protected from, and then discovered at a later time, and felt some discomfort from with our discovery (in this discussion, death.) For example, people who grew up closer to the earth, farming families for instance, understood that death = life, in many instances and so I would suspect that their children also were taught this in a matter of fact manner. City dwellers though were removed from the process of death and so they protect their children from it.

Hmmm, I'm wondering if this makes sense? Maybe it's just time to grab some ice cream and watch my taped episode of Dr. Who :P

Definitely makes sense, and as a mom, your first 'why?' did make me think a bit. Always a good thing.

I do make sure my kids know where food comes from. I want them to be conscious of things like factory farming and how animals are treated on their way to slaughter, etc. Some of them won't eat beef unless it is local.

I was thinking as I fed and cleaned stalls this morning about this issue and why I don't want to talk about the bunny being eaten by the snake with them. I think it is this: both daughters see our animals as friends and equals. They don't differentiate a lot between the value of a human life and their animal's lives. So, to them, it is fairly abhorrent to treat their pet's bodies with disrespect after death, just as it would be for us to treat a human's body with disrespect after death. Eventually, I think, their perspective will change a little.

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Originally Posted by ZinniaZ

I think it is this: both daughters see our animals as friends and equals. They don't differentiate a lot between the value of a human life and their animal's lives. So, to them, it is fairly abhorrent to treat their pet's bodies with disrespect after death, just as it would be for us to treat a human's body with disrespect after death. Eventually, I think, their perspective will change a little.

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I thought about posting how even most "naturalists" would be pretty horrified at the idea of a (human) loved one's body being used for animal food, and to little kids, the distinction between a beloved human family member and a beloved pet isn't always very clear. Then I thought maybe that was going too far, but since you brought it up...

I agree that your kids' perspective will most likely change as they grow up. No need to try to rush them in to it by making them aware of feeding their dead pet to the pet snake.

Oops, I have to go sooner than I thought so I'm not really done with this post. I'll probably add more later.

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Originally Posted by ZinniaZ

... I think it is this: both daughters see our animals as friends and equals. They don't differentiate a lot between the value of a human life and their animal's lives. So, to them, it is fairly abhorrent to treat their pet's bodies with disrespect after death, just as it would be for us to treat a human's body with disrespect after death. Eventually, I think, their perspective will change a little.

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Originally Posted by kc261

I thought about posting how even most "naturalists" would be pretty horrified at the idea of a (human) loved one's body being used for animal food...

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Hmmm, different cultural beliefs are coming into play with this now. I am not a Christian and so this might be when I need to not speak to this issue anymore. In closing, I will say that I find no disrespect in allowing the snake to eat the bunny and I am sure that you are right when you say that your children's perspectives will broaden as they age.
I suppose I ought not to have used the word "naturalist" since now it is being put into quotations and used.... well maybe in a way that I did not intend. It is a web of life and with it a web of respect. I do not put human animals above any others in the animal world. I believe the disrespect comes from waste.
Great discussion!

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Originally Posted by starmom

I suppose I ought not to have used the word "naturalist" since now it is being put into quotations and used.... well maybe in a way that I did not intend.

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Darn it. I was afraid posting that half-finished post was going to get me in trouble.

What I was trying to get around to saying was that there are lots of people who will say you shouldn't worry about this or shield your kid from that because it is nature's way, or whatever. Yet many of those same people would be horrified if nature was allowed to have its way with one of their human loved ones. And for kids, the difference between a human loved one and a pet may be unclear or nonexistent.

So it really wasn't aimed at you personally Starmom, even if you were the one who used the word "naturalist" in this thread.

It is hard to know where to find a balance between sheltering kids enough and sheltering them too much, whether it be stuff like this or things like all the violence in the news. Early in this thread Joanna said something about each parent being best able to make the decision for their own child, but she left out that it is often a very hard decision to make.

Definitely this has been a great discussion.