Wife dilemma...

I lived a few years doing what "she " wanted me to do . Not what I wana do . What's more important man. ?

"Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned". I've been married for 34 years and have learned this lesson the hard way. There may be times to stand up for something and take your lumps but a CL snake is definitely NOT one of those cases.

Bad decisions make awesome stories! Get the snake.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Slim

Bad decisions make awesome stories! Get the snake.

---

I could write a book 😄

1) This isn't about the snake. This is about you keeping your word to your wife.

2) If you don't have a quarantine enclosure available then this free snake won't be, because it has to be kept as far away as possible from your other snakes for at least 90 days.

3) Between us my husband and I have ninety-mumble snakes. Before a new one comes in we discuss it and figure out quarantine, what enclosure will be needed for it, whether we can build or buy one (or a new rack), etc.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Don't expect rational thought or actions from her until after the kid is born.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Slim

Bad decisions make awesome stories! Get the snake.

---

lol

get out of my mind!

Your wife is allowing that you can get more snakes after the kids is born. That in itself is a win for you. My wife supports me in all my insane hooby endeavors, and in my case she accepted a long time ago that there will always be one more snake/lizard/plane, etc. But family obligations have to come first, and unless you already have a kid, you have no c!he how much that little bugger will affect your life. I though I had a handle on it before mine was born, but I had almost no clue. So be patient, give your wife this one, and plan on what cool animals you'll have when you get the chance. Oh, and that hormone thing, don't press your luck on it, lol.

What I see is a difference in understanding of the agreement. She seems to think any addition free or not was not going to happen. What your understanding of the agreement is at this point is irrelevant. If you go back on your word (as she sees it) you will loose trust and integrity in her eyes that is not easily gained back.
Unfortunately miscommunication is a very common occurrence in relationships. No matter how alike you may or may not be, you have different perspectives due to different life experiences and vew things differently. Mix hormones in that (pregnant or not) and you have a recipe for chaos.
What I am hearing is that your wife has one focus right now, the baby she is carrying. Because she is carrying it she has a constant reminder of this. She will not understand how you can think of anything else but the baby and will likely get offended if she thinks you focus is on anything else. Essentially she needs constant reassurance that you are only concerned with taking care of her and your new addition. Simply talking about anything but this will make her question that and will lead to a fight.
I have only been married for 13 years and only have 2 kids (8 and 10) so I have some experience but not as much as some. I am lucky to have come from a family where my parents were never divorced so I like to think I have good examples to learn from. Then again, this is a forum and we are all strangers so take my opinion with a grain of salt.

You have to pick your battles and IMO this isn't a fight worth having. I'll admit that I've "renegotiated" the no more snakes agreement a few times but I certainly wouldn't do it if I thought it might jeopardize my relationship. Also, timing is everything. Enjoy the wife and new baby. Let her know that she and the baby are the most important things to you and that you want them to be happy more than anything. Be super nice and sweet and in a few months she probably won't even care about one more snake. FWIW I usually start buttering my girl up with more date nights, foot rubs, and shopping sprees months before I drop the new snake bomb on her. In addition to the cost of the snakes and enclosures the last two snakes I got also cost me a plane ticket to NY for her to visit her girlfriends and my most recent acquisition cost me (4) Sunday dinners that I'm responsible for. Two down and two to go. :D

I agree with the others. Your word to your wife and the coming baby are more important than getting a free snake that may be in questionable health. There will be more freebies. The cost you would pay in loss of trust and hurt feelings is so not worth it. And if you were to do it anyway, there would be no going back to undo the harm done. Stick by your wife in this stressful (but happy) time in your lives. Don't break her trust in you.