does anyone?

Okay, I kind of get what you're saying now.
I usually only hold my BP for about 5 minutes on a given day to do a quick health check and any tub maintenance. Sometimes I'll sit down and hold her a minute or two longer just for fun. A large portion of my exotics are completely no-handle, so I was under the impression that 15 minutes would be getting close to gratuitous handling; taking a snake to a petshop or car ride anywhere is kind of beyond what I'd even considered when I asked that.

I was just thinking 15 minutes of being held in the air by a giant would seem about as stressful as 15 minutes in a tub of water or laying on the grass, not taking into account that it may take a lot longer than that.

I rarely ever handle my ball python because he gets stressed easily, let alone take him outside. Most of the times I take him outside, he spends most of his time periscoping. I have several things in my lawn that I allow my snake to crawl under, and if they choose to use it I usually take them inside. If I'm taking photos or videos, I'll finish those up, but if they choose to hide I take that as a sign they want to go back in. He hides maybe half the times I take him outside, which might be 3-4 times over the summer at most. My other snakes spend a decent amount of time outside because it doesn't seem to affect their roaming behavior or their appetite, and I figure the UV is good for them. I eventually want to install UV in all my snake's enclosures, I've heard it helps with color, roaming, and basking behavior in several species including ball pythons.

If I couldn't hold my snake I wouldn't have got one in the first place. I haven't let him roam the yard yet, but he hangs out on the couch in a soft blanket with me at least once a week. He is very curious and always watches the computer screen lol especially if there's a movie on or if I'm playing skyrim.

I had not considered the bird thing, there are TONS of hawks in SW Wa.

I think most people understand that snakes can thrive with little. Breeders have proved this with vast collections of healthy animals in tubs with paper towels. For me, not a chance would I ever keep any of my snakes like that. A beautiful, majestic creature snakes are. In a sterilite tub, it's almost disrespectful to the animal in my opinion.

But- on the other hand my dog is treated like a princess, nothing natural about her life at all.

I think it's human nature to want to beleive the thing you love and care for has feelings and is happy/sad/appreciative/whatever. Look at kids and plush toys, even better, men and cars ;)