Short stupid jokes

Ummmm.............The only "Short Stupid Joke" that I can remember is one my grandpa used to tell all the grandkids when we were younger...

How do you make a hankey dance?...............You put a little "boogie" in it!

I know its corny! lol But forgive me.. haha! :P

haha.lol

A lady's Great Dane had a toothache so she took it to the vet. The vet picked the Great Dane up and looked at it's mouth and said, "I'm gonna have to put him down."
The lady with a shocked look on her face said, "Cause he's got a toothache??"
The vet answered, "No, cause he's heavy."

HA! I have one~
A precious little girl walks in to a pet shop and asks in
the sweetest little lisp "Excuthe me mither, where do you keep
widdle wabbits?"
As the shopkeeper’s heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so
he’s on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a
thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown
wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on
her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice...

"I don’t fink my pet pyfon weally gives a thit."


and Another

"You might be a herper if you keep your best friends dead skin"
"You might be a herper if you had to take down pictures of relatves, so you would have more room to put up pictures of your python eating"

hahahahahahahaha

Found this and thought I would share.....

Petey was a snake, only so big. Petey lived in a pit with his mother. One day Petey was hissing in the pit when his mother said, "Petey, don't hiss in the pit, go outside the pit to hiss." So Petey went outside of the pit to hiss. Petey was hissing all around when he finally leaned over and hissed in the pit. Petey's mother heard Petey hissing in the pit and said, "Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, go over to Mrs. Pott's pit and hiss in her pit. Petey went over to Mrs. Pott's pit to hiss in her pit, but Mrs. Pott was not at home so he hissed in her pit anyway. While Petey was hissing in Mrs. Pott's pit, Mrs. Pott came home and found Petey hissing in her pit. She said, "Petey, if you must hiss in a pit, don't hiss in my pit; go to your own pit and hiss." This made Petey very sad, and he cried all the way home. When Petey got home, his mother saw him crying and said, "Petey, what's the matter?" Petey said, "I went over to Mrs. Pott's to hiss in her pit but Mrs. Pott was not at home, so I hissed in her pit anyway. Mrs. Pott came home and found me hissing in her pit and said, "Petey, if you must hiss in a pit go to your own pit and hiss, don't hiss in my pit." This made Petey's mother very angry and she said, "Why that mean old Lady! I knew Mrs. Pott when she didn't have a pit to hiss in."

now try telling that joke out loud after a beer or two. :D

Sorry if this upsets anyone its the only shrot joke I know

Q. What has two legs and bleeds worse than anything.


A. Half a cat

Ironhead, that joke reminds me of the duck joke. I can't repeat that here :P

Great books I've read.........

50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit......Illustrated by Betty Dont
Revenge of the Cat by Claude Balls
The Narrow Doorway by Hugh Jass