Significant Other Losing Interest...

I think you need to sit down with him and both of you maturely and calmly discuss your concerns and feelings. Communication is important in relationships and it seems like he may be feeling or worrying about things that he's not voicing to you. I think that talking it out will help because for now you can only guess why he wants you to get rid of your animals. What are his concerns with breeding? and you can explain to him why you want to breed these animals.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by babyknees

I think you need to sit down with him and both of you maturely and calmly discuss your concerns and feelings. Communication is important in relationships and it seems like he may be feeling or worrying about things that he's not voicing to you. I think that talking it out will help because for now you can only guess why he wants you to get rid of your animals. What are his concerns with breeding? and you can explain to him why you want to breed these animals.

---

See my post in the middle of page 2.

I'm glad the reasons were the best, and not due to some need to control or manipulate--sounds like he's a good guy.

Guys don't always express themselves well. It may make him feel better to let him know that the snakes represent a leisure-time activity for you, that they help you relax and unwind, rather than being a source of anxiety or stress. (So long as that's true, of course). ;)

Does sam not get it? Does he not know the saying happy wife happy life? Look heres the deal. Women are thinkers, men are do-ers. We dont think. We just do what we do. Not saying its right or wrong but thats what we do. What sam needs to understand is that this makes you happy. My wife has always hated snakes. She hates every thing about them. She does not go near my snake rooms, has anxiety attacks if she goes to a show, absolutely friggin hates em. But she knows its been my passion my whole life so she deals with it. Kinda the same way i deal with her passions. If i got mad every day that she goes to the gym for 2 hrs every day or if i got mad every time she brought home a new coach purse or if i got mad with her dumb loud mouthed pair of bloodhounds id be divorced. But its about compromise. Sounds like sam needs a hobby. Do you support his passions? If the answer is yes then i would breed your snakes without lookin back.

Life's too short to stick around with someone who can't at least be tolerant of the things that bring you happiness.

Good luck and I hope it all works out. Yeah it sucks to end a relationship and move out and all that, but don't hesitate to get out of there fast if he continues to be completely unsupportive this early in the game. Basements are perfect for snake dens. ;)

I lucked out. My hubby isn't into them, but he knows how much joy I get out of these guys. I bring something new home, and he just says "oh, that's pretty". Never even asks what it cost. He's a keeper.

I think it comes down to him knowing at the beginning your passion and long term goals. I can see him wanting discussions about your future plans, but to me part of finding the balance is accepting your partner as they are. At least in your case you were already planning on breeding...with me, although I have had a lifelong interest in reptiles, I didn't take the plunge until after we had been dating a few months, so she has a LOT of say in what I get, and I respect that, even thought it has made me constantly rework my plans, and I complain a LOT (it has gotten me nowhere...). It sounds like he's going to have to make concessions (and possibly you, too) if he wants you to stick around.

If he is sooo concerned about your health, and understands your passions and goals, then a GOOD boyfriend would step up and try to alleviate the stress without causing MORE stress by asking you to rehome them. I hope the talk works, and he does step up and do things to make your life easier since the extra stress you are dealing with might very well be temporary. My hHubby doesnt like animals, for the most part, but loves me, and has for 27 years :)
*Fila*

I'm glad that you had a decent talk with him. The animal hoarding concerns from his mother also should be addressed before she decides to do something about your animals without consulting you (or just consulting Sam...).

It just sounds like he has a controlling tendency to me from how you describe it. I have an issue with anyone who pokes their nose into my business as far as my snakes go, let alone someone who thinks they can decide that snakes in the collection gotta go. Downsizing when you need to for legitimate reasons is a good idea and makes it easier for you resource-wise. But that should be a decision YOU make, not him.

Not much more I can say, I'd had left him when he started having issues with the number of snakes in the first place. But I also went through a relationship where I was unhappy to the point of exploding for years, so red flag behavior makes me immediately disregard the person. Keep doing your snake thing ;) We know you aren't hoarding or crazy, and I'm pretty sure you'll be able to decide how much is too much for you. Good luck hon, it's your business and not his