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horrible.....

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  • 10-19-2011, 08:59 AM
    DemmBalls
    Re: horrible.....
    Who's HE to give you an ultimatum? If your snakes make you happy...I say lose the BF. Besides jealousy will eventually more than likely destroy the relationship anyway. Just my thoughts.
  • 10-19-2011, 11:36 AM
    rabernet
    Re: horrible.....
    Several thoughts.

    1) He shouldn't be making ultimatums.
    1a) Is he correct though? Are you spending more time with the snakes and less time with him? If so - is there an underlying reason why? IE, avoidance of time with him? Is he just so flabbergasted with the situation that he needed to get your attention?

    2) If you give into his demands, you are going to add another problem to the relationship. His jealousy + your resentment.

    3) What about some compromise? Be more aware of how much you talk about the snakes, how much time in your day the snakes take up and take away from quality time with him. It can't be just about the number of animals you have, as you really don't have a lot.

    I get the feeling that we don't have the whole story.
  • 10-19-2011, 12:01 PM
    3ofSwords
    Hm I would have a talk with him about it and if he was still goin to give me a ultimatum then I would take a step back and look at the relationship.

    But you also said it was because of a new landlord? Ehh well idk what to say on that except I wouldn't move if it means givin up my animals.:colbert:
  • 10-19-2011, 12:17 PM
    JohnNJ
    You guys have it all figured out. Great advice based on a few paragraphs. Brilliant! :cool:

    Just remember, there's three sides to every story and you've only heard very little of one. :colbert:
  • 10-19-2011, 01:05 PM
    wilomn
    Re: horrible.....
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JohnNJ View Post
    You guys have it all figured out. Great advice based on a few paragraphs. Brilliant! :cool:

    Just remember, there's three sides to every story and you've only heard very little of one. :colbert:

    I suppose you're ASSuming that no one who has bothered to answer this post bother or was able to take that into consideration.

    Ahhh, if ONLY we were all as smart as you make yourself out to be. What a JOY the world then would be.

    The advice she's been given has been pretty good. She's young and if I recall correctly doesn't have much family to fall back on. So we're it for now.

    IF she's lying or omitting, she'll learn the folly of that as she proceeds with the move. IF she's not, then hopefully she'll find what she needs here.
  • 10-19-2011, 01:31 PM
    JohnNJ
    Re: horrible.....
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wilomn View Post
    Ahhh, if ONLY we were all as smart as you make yourself out to be. What a JOY the world then would be.

    Of course I didn't mean you. Your advice is always spot on.

    BTW, I am quite smart. I did not give any advice since I did not know all of the facts. No advice is better than bad advice.
  • 10-19-2011, 01:42 PM
    Wh00h0069
    Re: horrible.....
    Boyfriends come and go.
  • 10-19-2011, 01:46 PM
    wilomn
    Re: horrible.....
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by JohnNJ View Post
    . No advice is better than bad advice.

    You have every right to believe as you will. No matter how wrong you are.

    I'm ASSuming you're saying my advice to her was bad.

    But then, in your unASSuming way, you've said I was spot on.

    Let me give you some advice.

    Pick one story and stick to it.

    Or is that bad advice that would be better not given at all?

    I suppose you're very smart enough to figure that out now, aren'tcha?
  • 10-19-2011, 01:57 PM
    youbeyouibei
    Action or at least an attempt to help in some way (a la "bad advice") over indifference ("No advice...") would be my choice 100% of the time. But that's just me.
  • 10-19-2011, 03:02 PM
    wolfy-hound
    Go ahead and get rid of ALL your pets, give up ALL your hobbies and just wait on his every whim. You'll end up doing it anyway from your responses.

    You're obviously not that upset over giving away your pets, since you immediately make excuses as to why it's okay for him to demand that you do it.

    Later the excuses will be for more severe things, but you are willing to be treated like that, then nothing an online community says or does will have any impact on you. You make all the decisions for your own life. If you like having him dictate what you are "allowed" to do, what you are "allowed" to keep, who you are "allowed" to talk to and so on.. then go ahead and give your pets away now. He'll only demand that you get rid of all of them later, make the full break now.

    At the same time, you'll probably want to tell any of your friends that you can't hang out with them or talk to them online or on the phone any more. Guys who demand a girl give away pets won't hesitate to demand they have no friends later. Oh sure... it'll be an excuse of "He's just jealous of the time I spend talking on the phone... he thinks that guy friend of mine might be flirting with me.. I don't spend enough time with him doing his hobbies..."

    It's your life. Live it at his whim. Your choice. Now you can always respond with the "you don't understand him!" type thing, but I most likely won't see the response, and I don't really care that much, since it's not MY life. I wouldn't allow some jealous petty boy to dictate to me how I live and what I do. That's not "love". But if it works for you, enjoy it.
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