Best Chuck Norris Jokes Ever!

when Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet...water gets Chuck Norris.

The handicapped sign on a parking space is not meant to be reserved for persons who are disabled, they are, infact Chuck Norris parking spaces...the sign is a warning as to what will happen to you if you park in Chuck Norris' space.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

When Opinheimer stated, "I am death, I am the destroyer of worlds." he was not talking about the making of the atomic bomb...he was refering to his Chuck Norris Halloween costume.

In the beginning there was nothing...Chuck Norris roundhoused that nothing and said, "Get a Job." that is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris can pee his name IN CEMENT!

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Multiple people have died from Chuck Norris giving them the finger.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in the periodic table of the elements. He only believes in the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain


... Loving this thread!

If the IRS ever calls your home, answer saying "This is Chuck Norris", the IRS will hang up and never Call again and exempt you from all taxes.

There's a medical term for those who willingly defy Chuck Norris....organ donors.

Chuck Norris doesn't make mashed potatoes. The potatoes get so scared they kill themselves

Chuck can win black jack with 1 card

One of my favorites : The Mayans have predicted that by late 2012, Chuck Norris will sneeze.:rofl::rofl::rofl:

The military has been developing a new weapon stronger than the atomic bomb. They wil drop Chuck Norris from a plane and when he reaches the ground he will roundhouse kick it.

Chuck Norris is so manly he's at risk of impregnating himself.

Chuck Norris invented the C-section when he roundhouse kicked his way out of his mothers womb.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Oh My freakin' GAWD! i was laughing so hard reading all these i lost what i was gonna add.
i'll have to add some when i can get 'em outta my bf cuz he knows a bunch of chuck norris jokes.

the one that gets me gut wrenching laughter though is this one:

chuck norris doesnt look under his bed for the boogeyman, the boogeyman looks under his be for chuck norris.

whoo wee [trying to catch my breath], ok i gotta go make dinner.