Down and out.

join the military or the peace corps.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your GF was much more than "just" a GF. My BF and I have been together for almost 5 years, and we still consider each other BF/GF, but we know we are much much more than that to each other.

I have a friend that is currently going zombie, and it kills me to see her this way. But, she won't do anything about it. She's obsessed with this guy and is always at his side even when he doesn't want her to be. He plays mind games, and she falls for them. She's thrown away her life for this stupid idiotic boy, and she doesn't even care. The difference? It sounds like you've been with this "GF" for a long time, and you guys had plans. He straight up told her "I don't see myself marrying you in the future" and she's STILL barking at his tree.

If I were in your shoes, I'd have to ask myself "Is this really something that can stop me from being happy, or can I find a way to make the best out of it?" I tend to always look on the bright side, so maybe my post is coming across too happy. Lately I've had to ask myself this question a few times, and it seems to be working out.

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Originally Posted by Elise.m

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say your GF was much more than "just" a GF.

If I were in your shoes, I'd have to ask myself "Is this really something that can stop me from being happy, or can I find a way to make the best out of it?" I tend to always look on the bright side, so maybe my post is coming across too happy. Lately I've had to ask myself this question a few times, and it seems to be working out.

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Four years actually for us. But barely. And this IS something that has stopped me from being happy. I have no way to make the best out of it because there is no silver lining for me. To some people this may be the best thing in the world.

I myself am not too keen on making the best of anything. To me that is settling, and pretending that something is what you want when its not. When life hands you lemons? I am allergic to lemons, I don't like lemonaid and will stuff the lemons up anyones #$# that tries to tell me such. :D

What does it mean when me and my friends are all watching House, and Wilson says to House, "Being miserable doesn't make you better than everyone else, it just makes you miserable." and everyone in the room turns and looks at me?

As I said before you are the only one who has any effect on you. You have all the power to change, and there are two ways of handing pain, ignore it and let it linger, or face it full on and burn yourself out to the point where you finally ask yourself "why" and end up moving on. It really sucks no matter how you go about it, but you'll eventually get over it.

I really think that you should voulenteer in your comminity. It can be helpful to other people and will make you have a purpose but if you feel thats not for you then that long 70 year or so vacation to the bahamas looks pretty good!

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Originally Posted by stormwulf133

Four years actually for us. But barely. And this IS something that has stopped me from being happy. I have no way to make the best out of it because there is no silver lining for me. To some people this may be the best thing in the world.

I myself am not too keen on making the best of anything. To me that is settling, and pretending that something is what you want when its not. When life hands you lemons? I am allergic to lemons, I don't like lemonaid and will stuff the lemons up anyones #$# that tries to tell me such. :D

What does it mean when me and my friends are all watching House, and Wilson says to House, "Being miserable doesn't make you better than everyone else, it just makes you miserable." and everyone in the room turns and looks at me?

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Sounds like an extremely hard place you're in. For me personally, I'd probly just take things day by day, zombie it out and see what comes/stays. I hope things get better, or at least don't stay the way they are.

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Originally Posted by stormwulf133

Has anyone else been there?

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Yes. I definitely know exactly how you feel, as hard as it may be to believe, there are other people out there who at one point felt or may currently feel exactly as you do. I hope it is a comfort to know that at least you're not abnormal, even though it sucks to think about how many people experience that kind of misery.

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Originally Posted by stormwulf133

My girlfriend, or whatever she is at this point, wants me to get on anti-depressant medication. The problem is I don't believe in that. I can understand if someone is depressed due to a chemical imbalance, then it is a medical issue that needs addressed. But I am depressed just due to life sucking so very bad for me. There are no "make life not suck" pills. Anything I take would just be false happiness.

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I used to be completely anti-anti-depressant.

It is true that there is no such thing as a "make life not suck" pill, but I CAN tell you that anti-depressants are something prescribed as a temporary relief whose issues stem from life troubles rather than pure abnormal brain chemistry. And they work.

The one thing I advise you to do is at least consider seeing a therapist for depression. In fact I'd probably advise just about anyone going through life troubles or feeling depressed for multiple weeks to go talk to a therapist for a session or two.

Depression is probably not only the most commonly diagnosed chronic problem for adults (estimated at 1 in 4), but also probably the most common problem that goes undiagnosed.

I knew for years that I had problems with depression. I felt as you did, I went through the motions as best I could, and in college I dealt with the extra stress with drugs and alcohol, which contrary to many people's opinions do in fact work as well. I owe my life to recreational drugs and alcohol (quite literally), but it would have been better for me to have done the smart thing and see a therapist and a doctor, which I did this past summer.

The problem is that I spent way too long 'knowing' but denying my problems as long as I could deal with them. Eventually they became too much for me to handle which is what triggered me trying to get help.

I don't want to see anyone have to get to the edge of that emotional cliff and begin to fall before they at least find a bit of relief.

I highly suggest you find a cheap local clinic with a therapist and just go in for a talk. They may suggest you talk to a doctor about getting on meds, but are always helping out patients work around their wishes, and again it's only TALKING to a doctor about their recommendations. I was the biggest anit-therapist and anti-med person in the world until I tried it out for myself, and was surprised at how much they helped me deal with life's problems. In fact I doubt there isn't a single person in the world who I wouldn't advise they go see a therapist at least once, whether it be for general depression, work problems, relationship problems, the death of a close friend/family member.. The problems don't go away, but I was able to be better at dealing with them.

Just a bit of personal non-doctoral advice about meds: they are to help, they don't fix everything, but they were personally pretty darn good at making me enjoy the little things (food, pets, video games, TV, movies, reconnecting with a few friends and going out for food and drinks every couple of weekends), which sounds like something you might be interested in.

A note on anti-depressants:

They aren't uppers, they are not designed to make you feel happy, they arent designed to get you a high. They are mood levelers, they take you from depression to flat effect, thats it. Its entirely up to you to pull yourself up the rest of the way, but they keep you operating. They wont fully kick in for a few weeks, and you get to pass through the dangerous levels of depression, the levels where you actually are capable of making plans and following through with them, but you're still emotionally messed up. This leads to bad behavior, including suicide, if it isn't something that goes through your mind you're probably safe, but this is the area where people also do drugs and break laws, because they think it might be a good idea.

Mind altering drugs are just that, mind altering, they either stop your brain from reabsorbing chemicals that are released or they increase production of said chemicals.

I'm used to this level of depression, personally, and I'm used to the level you described, and I'm used to extreme emotional highs. Its always great being manic depressive. Drugs arent always needed and should only be used to get you back to functioning levels, if your depression is so bad it is affecting your work life.

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Originally Posted by Oxylepy

They aren't uppers, they are not designed to make you feel happy, they arent designed to get you a high. They are mood levelers, they take you from depression to flat effect, thats it. Its entirely up to you to pull yourself up the rest of the way, but they keep you operating. They wont fully kick in for a few weeks, and you get to pass through the dangerous levels of depression
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Drugs arent always needed and should only be used to get you back to functioning levels

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Very true.

In addition I forgot to mention: only a health professional can prescribe meds, and are the only ones capable of determining if it's a good idea for someone to try out.

Don't seek meds just because your girlfriend/whatever suggested it (she's not a doctor), or because they worked for someone else, my original post was to try and let people know that meds aren't "bad" and they don't make you "weak", in fact if it's recommended by a doctor then actually taking your meds IS BEING PROACTIVE ABOUT DEPRESSION. My original post was meant to emphasize that it's a good idea to seek outside help.

It was said that only you can help yourself. That is pretty much true, and often seeking outside help is in fact a good way to help yourself.

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Originally Posted by Vypyrz

Have a doctor check your thyroid hormone levels. I spent a year on anti-depressants and they weren't helping. I wasn't interested in anything, I had no energy or motivation. The only reason I would get out of bed was because I had to go to work. I finally went to a different Dr. who decided to check my thyroid levels and turns out mine was way low. Turns out depression, lack of intrest and lack of energy are some of the symptoms of an inactive thyroid (hypo-thyroidism). Look it up on WebMD and see if this might be part of the problem...


Rob

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This sounds like me. I plan on getting evaluated by my doctor once I get back in NY.

Also, you could possibly have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. You can Google it, along with epstein-barr virus. I had Mononucleosis as a teen, and have CFS now; it is pretty tough to get through some days (lack of energy; it is even worse when actual life-events blast me; kinda like a double-exhaustion.)
Lots of people will say "snap out of it." This can be impossible if you have underlying health issues that aren't being addressed. Anemia and diabetes, undiagnosed, cold be other energy-sapping conditions.

At any rate, I wish you the best.. it is a tough road. I am going through a lot of logistic/financial angst now.