Sellers, take care Kristy1277

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Originally Posted by rabernet

Does it suck? Sure it does. Does it warrant a warning to others not to do business with her? Absolutely not.

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I never issued such a warning, Robin. I only said that she does not reciprocate special kindnesses, so folks should be wary of offering them to her.

I stated, twice now, that as a strictly-business sort of person, she's fine. This is not a warning against deals, only a warning against niceties.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

This was also not as formal of a transaction as you are probably used to, since you tend to buy from the bigger guys. This is small-hobbyist to small-hobbyist, and the relationships tend to be a bit more casual and personal when these transactions take place.

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I have to disagree with this. Business is business. Whether you're dealing with thousands of dollars per transaction...or a handful of single dollar bills. Part of the problem with this "industry" that we all want to be a part of, is so many people who refuse to take the business end of it seriously and treat other people like crap because "it's just a hobby"..."it's just a few dollars"....or "that's just the way I am." And anyone who can't treat the business part of the hobby as it should be treated, WILL feel it come back and bite them in the butt.

I'm very sorry you lost your fire. But I'm even more sorry that you feel you're owed something special just because you treated someone kindly. Kindness not offered freely and without expectations is not a kindness at all...but merely an attempt at manipulation.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

I couldn't help it if i wanted. I might as well just go get my SUCKER tattoo right now.

What do you think? Forehead so they can read it when they meet me? Chest so they can read it when I give them my shirt? Or back, so they can read it when they stab me?

(i know that's a little extreme - i feel incredibly crappy and cynical right now. Sorry.)

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It goes with the territory. My wife generously gave a "Firend" money to help with the rent. This person promptly called someone and said "lets go out to eat"...does that mean my wife will stop being generous. No, just more careful

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Originally Posted by JLC

I have to disagree with this. Business is business. Whether you're dealing with thousands of dollars per transaction...or a handful of single dollar bills. Part of the problem with this "industry" that we all want to be a part of, is so many people who refuse to take the business end of it seriously and treat other people like crap because "it's just a hobby"..."it's just a few dollars"....or "that's just the way I am." And anyone who can't treat the business part of the hobby as it should be treated, WILL feel it come back and bite them in the butt.

I'm very sorry you lost your fire. But I'm even more sorry that you feel you're owed something special just because you treated someone kindly. Kindness not offered freely and without expectations is not a kindness at all...but merely an attempt at manipulation.

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:bow::bow::bow::bow::bow: Yes Yes Yes !!!!!!! You said it!!!

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Originally Posted by JLC

Kindness not offered freely and without expectations is not a kindness at all...but merely an attempt at manipulation.

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I expected nothing when I gave it. When I needed it back, and it was not received, I could not help but remember how nice I had been to her, and feel awful that it was one-sided.

All I'm doing is telling people that kindness spent towards forming relationships with this girl will be one-sided, based on my experience. This is not why I do things for people, but it is why it hurts when they don't remember or reciprocate what I did.

Just one more nail in the coffin, i guess.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

I expected nothing when I gave it. When I needed it back, and it was not received, I could not help but remember how nice I had been to her, and feel awful that it was one-sided.

All I'm doing is telling people that kindness spent towards forming relationships with this girl will be one-sided, based on my experience. This is not why I do things for people, but it is why it hurts when they don't remember or reciprocate what I did.

Just one more nail in the coffin, i guess.

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Sure it can hurt. And when it hurts, most folks will go, "wow, that sucked"...and move on. But when someone feels compelled to call another person out publicly and throw their faults into the face of everyone else in their circle.....that, to me, is far more than being disappointed. It's continuing to try and manipulate the situation to get what you want. You've said over and over again that you're not trying to make her look like a bad business person....AND YET you post this "feedback" in the BUSINESS section of the site with a subject line intended to make sellers beware of this person. :confuzd:

This is a trader feedback forum, yes? Does that exclude any part of the trading experience? What if she had kicked my dog while she was over at my house buying snakes? That's not terribly relevant to the business part of the transaction - would I be allowed to warn people about that? Where do you draw the line?

I would gladly consent to a better-worded, appropriate title for this thread, but I think it's still fair to have posted, as I have included, in detail, the nature of the conflict, and what, specifically, I am warning other traders away from doing (particularly because she ASKS you for it - she says "give this" or "discount that" and is obviously not willing to do much in return).

I, in particular, as a buyer AND a seller, would appreciate being warned about people like that. For someone who is a pushover like me, this stuff gets pretty painful.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

This is a trader feedback forum, yes? Does that exclude any part of the trading experience? What if she had kicked my dog while she was over at my house buying snakes? Would I be allowed to warn people about that? Where do you draw the line?

I would gladly consent to a better-worded, appropriate title for this thread, but I think it's still fair to have posted, as I have included, in detail, the nature of the conflict, and what, specifically, I am warning other traders away from doing (particularly because she ASKS you for it - she says "give this" or "discount that" and is obviously not willing to do much in return).

I, in particular, as a buyer, would appreciate being warned about people like that. For someone who is a pushover like me, this stuff gets pretty painful.

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Nobody is pulling your post or drawing any lines in the sand. Just challenging your reasoning, which is going to happen if you feel you must share something like this in a public venue. And if it hurts THIS bad...then I simply want to challenge you again, to reconsider WHY you bother being kind to others in the first place. I'm not asking you to justify it HERE....just suggesting a little soul searching in the privacy of your own heart.

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Originally Posted by Morphie

I expected nothing when I gave it. When I needed it back, and it was not received, I could not help but remember how nice I had been to her, and feel awful that it was one-sided.

All I'm doing is telling people that kindness spent towards forming relationships with this girl will be one-sided, based on my experience. This is not why I do things for people, but it is why it hurts when they don't remember or reciprocate what I did.

Just one more nail in the coffin, i guess.

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So then this post was your way to "give back" to her, so to speak? It sounds like a personal problem, that deals with your hurt feelings, and really has no business as "feedback" on the buyer, nor do I think anyone needs to be warned about her.

Would you (or have you) post this on the BOI to issue this "warning"? The intent seems to be to damage her ability to purchase from other sellers. If someone were to ask me for a discount, if I didn't feel good about it, I'd say no. If I didn't have a problem with it, I'd offer something, expecting nothing in return.

correct me if im wrong but it sounds like your saying its a bad thing to be a good person. There needs to be more people in the world like that, she just needs to learn to say no, only give discounts to return customers or friends.