any good jokes?

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

He asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then....." he sighed, "we'll put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

did i mention that my wife is blonde LOL

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Originally Posted by NickMyers03

did i mention that my wife is blonde LOL

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Lol, the frosted flakes one was funny.

Here's a shot.

A blonde, a russian and an american where sitting around talking. The russian says "You know, we were the first ones in space".

The American says "Yeah, so, we were the first ones on the moon."

The blonde says "Oh yeah! We're going to be the first ones on the sun!".

The american and russian look at each other baffled and say "You can't land on the sun, it's way too hot"

The blonde replies "Duh, we're not stupid, we're going to go at night."

I have a feeling the ladies will get a chuckle out of this one...

There are 3 individuals preparing for the final stages of their FBI training. Two men and one woman are given the following instructions...

"It is crucial that the FBI knows you will follow orders without question. Take this gun, in the next room your spouse will be waiting, shoot them with the gun..."

The first guy walks into the room and within a couple of minutes comes out crying saying that he could not do it; he loved his wife too much and couldn't bare causing her pain.

The second guy walks into the room and comes out within a few minutes with the same result.

Finally its the woman's chance to go. She walks into the room and after a few minutes you hear lots of shouting, banging, screaming and then silence....

The woman comes out of the room and says...

"The gun wasn't loaded so I had to beat the bastard to death with the chair..."

:D

I think this thread should be in the QT room because there are some funny jokes i'd like to tell.

where is this QT room? I always hear about it but yet to see it =\

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lewdogg3

where is this QT room? I always hear about it but yet to see it =\

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PM a mod for access...its a sub forum in the off topic

Well dang.... That would explain why i could never find it :)

A good joke?

My life!!:rolleyes:

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the
appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to
enter a password. Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for
the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention.

So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it
plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P...

E.....

N....

I.....

S.....

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:
PASSWORD DENIED. NOT LONG ENOUGH...

For his birthday little Matty asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but we've got a $500k mortgage on the house and your mother just lost her job. There's just no way we can afford it."
The next day the father saw little Matt heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?" Little Matty told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $500k mortgage and no f***** bike!"

good jokes guys! we need to keep it family friendly, though so this thread doesnt get locked up!