I miss my lil baby...

Well if it helps I could post a picture of me 9 months gone with baby Mikey. I'm just a bit over 5 feet and I was pretty much as big around as I am tall. Oh and wearing the most gawd awful fuscia pink maternity top (why didn't someone mention I looked like a short, very round and color blind oompa lumpa - oh yeah - I was 9 months preggers and a TAD GROUCHY at the time! :mad: )

That picture has actually been tested and proven a very reliable method of birth control. :D Oh and if you think for a moment I'd actually post this picture...you are all quite nuts! LOL

:8: Lmao! Thanks Jo! (I'm now gonna think mama every time I look at the fridge)! :P I have no doubts that I would love a little person.... the smell, the snuggles, the soft.... It's the phone call in the middle of the night... "Um Mrs. we have your daughter here... she said you told her she could take the car to the beach, this is a problem considering she's 14".... (Not that I EVER did that) :rolleyes:

I know I was a terror to raise, I don't know if I could survive living with a little me!

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Oh and if you think for a moment I'd actually post this picture...you are all quite nuts! LOL

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aw man! why not??? you already gave us the general picture so the damage is done! if you really wanna help..... lol

No way, no how Mel dear...somethings are best left to the imagination of the reader (the reality is FAR too scary! LOL).

Oh those calls, well my oldest wasn't horrible but she did put us through a few "times" and there was a lot of tough love going around for a long while in our house. Teens can be tough and it's sometimes hard to love someone who is currently hating you but it does pass if you just stick to your guns and enforce common sense rules and they understand the reasoning behind them. They don't have to like the rules or even abide always by them, but I figure as long as they know the line not to cross and the consequence for doing so, then I raised smart young adults that have now made an informed decision to be temporarily an idiot LOL.

I was an idiot as a young teen, so was my oldest daughter. We both survived the experience and she's grown into a lovely young adult making her way in this world. I'm sure her younger sibs will do the same, make their own occasionally idiotic decisions and we'll all just get through it. :)

Biggest bit of advice when it comes to teens....they will have a lot of friends...but they only have one mom...so be that mom even when it's not fun. I always tell my own older 3 that I'm raising my future friends but for now...I'm mom!

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

I always tell my own older 3 that I'm raising my future friends but for now...I'm mom!

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That hands down is the best thing I have ever ever ever ever heard!!!!!!!!!! Holy crap why have I just now heard this? I teared up a little LOL...gosh I'm a softy tonight.

Yeah the one thing I really miss is being pregnant...I felt like the hottest thing in the world! Even though I was yacking all the time and had a very rocky time with her...it was a very difficult pregnancy...but god I loved it...and wanted a big fat belly so bad I was really depressed I didnt have one UNTIL I was 7 months along :taz: I waited to tell my job until I started showing so for that period of time everyone thought I was a bloated and had an eating disorder being I would stuff my face then run to the bathroom...and ran in there every 5 minutes to pee any how.

But yes...I have never felt more alive then I did being pregnant...having another heart beating with yours...having someone truly need you to survive...never being alone...god I loved every minute...although the dry heaves...leg cramps...cravings...diabetes...streach marks...HUGE boobs...a bigger belly....swollen feet...mood swings...back ache's...morning/noon/night sickness...and the crazy nesting I did sort of were the suck LOL...I could sit here today and say I would do it over and over and over...the sex more then made up for all the crap LOL. I did say while preggers...and still say it "I wish I could be pregnant my whole life" I just want that baby belly darn it!!! :taz:

And then there is giving birth...a mind blowing event that can never be put into words...I thought it was so magical I had 8 people in the room with me when I gave birth to Raigen..that isnt counting the staff LOL. Although my great grandmother said I scarred her for life :( She birthed all 6 of her children at home with no one but a midwife...she was a little weirded out by the crowd...and how much I was "enjoying" the whole birthing and labor (all 22 hours of it!) but hey...5 generations were in that room...the best moment of my life...birthing her there with my mother...grandmother and greatgrandmother watching...along with my inlaws..my step father...my aunt..and my sister in law...my step grandmother had left right before she was born :( It was 2am and she had a long drive :(

Thanks sweetie. It's just something that came to me one day when I was actually arguing with my oldest during her difficult teen stage. She was mad because I was being a strict mom and not her "friend". I snapped back that I was raising her to be my friend but right now I was mom and she needed to respect and listen to what I was trying to tell her. You learn a lot about parenting during the tougher times actually.

Anyway, I've kept it in mind ever since. So when I need to be tough or enforce the rules with the kids I remember that I trying to raise the kind of adults I would be friends with. My dream for all 4 kids is to be the kind of mother, that when they are adults we can go shopping or gab on the phone and laugh about anything but they still know that when the chips are down, I'm there for them as a concerned parent. Even now when Kate phones I can tell in a second if it's a "friend" call or she needs "momma time" just by how she says "hi mom".

It never ends though. Kate said something to me the other day that she worded very poorly and it hurt my feelings. I had to say to her "would you speak like that to a friend you loved?". Took her a moment but then she remembered that even moms have feelings and that you should treat your family just as good as you treat your buddies. I think it's very important as your kids become adults that they remember you too are a person with feelings, desires and a life seperate from your role as their parent.

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

I was actually arguing with my oldest during her difficult teen stage. She was mad because I was being a strict mom and not her "friend". I snapped back that I was raising her to be my friend but right now I was mom and she needed to respect and listen to what I was trying to tell her. You learn a lot about parenting during the tougher times actually.


It never ends though. Kate said something to me the other day that she worded very poorly and it hurt my feelings. I had to say to her "would you speak like that to a friend you loved?". Took her a moment but then she remembered that even moms have feelings and that you should treat your family just as good as you treat your buddies. I think it's very important as your kids become adults that they remember you too are a person with feelings, desires and a life seperate from your role as their parent.

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I go through that alot. My oldest thinks that because I don't dress or act like Mrs. Cleaver that it's ok to talk around me the way she does with her friends. I had to get on her last night about it! I always tell her..."I am your fried but I am always your Mother FIRST." We have a lot of fun together but sometimes I think they "forget" we are Moms! lol.

Sara is a lot like me in that she is a little hard with her emotions. So she isn't the "i hurt mom's feelings so I better go apologize" type. She is the "O well..I will just not talk to her and see if she gets over it" type. lol. Not always a bad thing though. But she absolutely hates for people to see her cry. as do I.

Where as Cait...my youngest is the "I'm sorry" type. She is very true and sincere with her feelings. If she makes me mad she will apologize right away cause she does not like for people to be mad at her. She is very genuine and innocent when it comes to her apologies.

We had to attend my husbands Grandmother's funeral yesterday and I had mentioned to Cait (prior to the funeral) that she would still be able to go on her class trip to the DC National Zoo today since the funeral was on thursday and she told me "It's ok if I miss the trip Mommy...I would rather be with my family now. They need me and are more important." I just balled! She is too sweet! Needless to say...Tody is the trip and since all the funeral biz is done she is going to be on her way to the Zoo in about 30 minutes! I hope she has a great time! I know would! lol. :carrot:

See why she is my Princess Angel! :sunny:

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Originally Posted by TheAudOne

But yes...I have never felt more alive then I did being pregnant...having another heart beating with yours...having someone truly need you to survive...never being alone...god I loved every minute...although the dry heaves...leg cramps...cravings...diabetes...streach marks...HUGE boobs...a bigger belly....swollen feet...mood swings...back ache's...morning/noon/night sickness...and the crazy nesting I did sort of were the suck LOL...I could sit here today and say I would do it over and over and over...the sex more then made up for all the crap LOL. I did say while preggers...and still say it "I wish I could be pregnant my whole life" I just want that baby belly darn it!!! :taz:

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Aud...I do know how you feel about having the baby in your belly. That is awesome! I loved the kicking the most! There is no feeling ever that can be compared to that little foot, butt, and head poking you from the inside out! lol. :sniff:

But I am done! Time to move on and start a fun and exciting future baby free. Well...that isn't entirely true. My sister is due to have a baby any day! I am actually excited to hold it! I haven't held a little one in forever! lol. I try not to get all goofy over it but it is so hard not to! :rolleye2:

New baby is like new puppy..lol..You just wanna hold em and smell them all the time! lol. :D

but I would not want to be pregnant forever! lol! that would get to be a little uncomfortable after a while! ;)

Thank you all so very much for sharing. I think that I am going to make a hard copy of the house rules -- The first one is going to be:


Don't come to me and ask a question if Mom already said NO. The answer is still NO!

And while marriage is a very important institution (and because I am an orthodox Jew I think) essential to the continuation of the world, it is (however) not essential to having a baby.

Please keep this in mind, not everyone needs to be married first to have a baby. Some women are able to handle raising a baby by themselves. BUT, it is much better to have a helper. If your significant other can be a helper then that is the one you should marry (regardless of any other factor)!


edited for clarity.

Wonderful post Akiva, very well said!

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Originally Posted by AkivaSmith

Please keep this in mind, not everyone needs to be married first to have a baby. Some women are able to handle raising a baby by themselves. BUT, it is much better to have a helper. If your significant other can be a helper then that is the one you should marry (regardless of any other factor)!


edited for clarity.

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Oh I agree fully (although I dont believe everyone should get married)...my rule of thumb always is "I'd rather have one happy parent then two who arent happy" I've seen some amazing moms and dads raise kids alone and do it better then I do on some days...and then I've seen first hand two people who would do so much better in the parent department if they were split up *shrugs* But yes help is key...and for me I never ask for help..it's just how I was raised...and being a mother has changed that...we had Raigen and then moved 3 hours away from my closest family...my mother is an hour away but she doesnt like being a grandmother...or hell a mother even so we hardly ever see her...it was hard...I faced alot in our new house along in a strange town with a new baby...but I did it...your a mother...some people get that and some dont...but at that time with a new child you really get to see what your made of...you'll either crash hard or climb out alive...covered in breast milk and 2 week old unwashed dirty hair lol. And finally at the 2 and half year mark I needed a break from her...she had never been to a sitter...never spent more then 3-4 hours away from me (and that was twice over a year ago ..and she was with her dad lol) as much as I loved it and she did...its knowing when you need to step away that is key...and I did and she went to my inlaws for a week...which is 6 hours away!!! (I was so stinking happy to drop her off we got a speeding ticket on the way there LOL) The week went by fast as all hell...and yeah I cried...ALOT! But it gave me a chance to reflect on me as a mom...work on improving where I need to....and yeah I forgot why I was married...so that week with Brian was amazing!!!! I fell in love again :love:

And I do fear she will grow up to be like me...my mother was my friend never my mom...and still is this way and I hate it...so I'm attempting to do the mom first thing...its hard...but I think I can manage...Although I am scared to death about having her grow up!! OMG :( But I think we will do ok...Brian grew up alot diffrently then I did..a normal home..upper class...good folks...(and thats why his parents got to babysit lol) so he makes choices I wouldnt...being I grew up alot harder...and I think that's what hurts me the most as far as being a mama...I want to do and give her everything I never had...and I have to keep reminding myself to just give her love...for who she is not who I want her to be...thats more then anything I ever got...but sadly I fall into that parent type that buys their child everything she asks for :( I'm creating a monster....but like they say...first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one...

omg I just yacked and smacked for a million miles..sorry folks lol. I need a journal lol.

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Originally Posted by AkivaSmith

Please keep this in mind, not everyone needs to be married first to have a baby. Some women are able to handle raising a baby by themselves.

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i totally agree! but, personally, the reason i'm making myself wait is because i'm already engaged and the wedding is next july. if i get pregnant now, who know's if i'll be able to fit into my dress then! but as soon as that's over with.....

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Originally Posted by python.princess

i totally agree! but, personally, the reason i'm making myself wait is because i'm already engaged and the wedding is next july. if i get pregnant now, who know's if i'll be able to fit into my dress then! but as soon as that's over with.....

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An extreemly good reason to wait. Also, there is no social stigma attached to a married woman being pregnant, everyone will be excited for you.

It's hard being a young..married and pregnant. I faced alot of rude people all through out the years I was married before I got pregnant..but the best came out after.

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Originally Posted by AkivaSmith

An extreemly good reason to wait. Also, there is no social stigma attached to a married woman being pregnant, everyone will be excited for you.

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yes, but i wan't to show my grandkids the pics from my wedding and they say! "gee grandma! u look like u have a bowling ball in ur dress!" haha! kinda like joanna telling about her prego pix but not showing them! lol

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Originally Posted by python.princess

yes, but i wan't to show my grandkids the pics from my wedding and they say! "gee grandma! u look like u have a bowling ball in ur dress!" haha! kinda like joanna telling about her prego pix but not showing them! lol

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I have a picture of my Grandmother and I when I was about a year old...I'm holding her hand and she is turned to the side...9 months pregnant.. no lie LOL She was 47 when she birthed her last child :D

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Originally Posted by TheAudOne

Oh I agree fully (although I dont believe everyone should get married)...my rule of thumb always is "I'd rather have one happy parent then two who arent happy" I've seen some amazing moms and dads raise kids alone and do it better then I do on some days...and then I've seen first hand two people who would do so much better in the parent department if they were split up *shrugs* But yes help is key...and for me I never ask for help..it's just how I was raised...and being a mother has changed that...we had Raigen and then moved 3 hours away from my closest family...my mother is an hour away but she doesnt like being a grandmother...or hell a mother even so we hardly ever see her...it was hard...I faced alot in our new house along in a strange town with a new baby...but I did it...your a mother...some people get that and some dont...but at that time with a new child you really get to see what your made of...you'll either crash hard or climb out alive...covered in breast milk and 2 week old unwashed dirty hair lol. And finally at the 2 and half year mark I needed a break from her...she had never been to a sitter...never spent more then 3-4 hours away from me (and that was twice over a year ago ..and she was with her dad lol) as much as I loved it and she did...its knowing when you need to step away that is key...and I did and she went to my inlaws for a week...which is 6 hours away!!! (I was so stinking happy to drop her off we got a speeding ticket on the way there LOL) The week went by fast as all hell...and yeah I cried...ALOT! But it gave me a chance to reflect on me as a mom...work on improving where I need to....and yeah I forgot why I was married...so that week with Brian was amazing!!!! I fell in love again :love:

And I do fear she will grow up to be like me...my mother was my friend never my mom...and still is this way and I hate it...so I'm attempting to do the mom first thing...its hard...but I think I can manage...Although I am scared to death about having her grow up!! OMG :( But I think we will do ok...Brian grew up alot diffrently then I did..a normal home..upper class...good folks...(and thats why his parents got to babysit lol) so he makes choices I wouldnt...being I grew up alot harder...and I think that's what hurts me the most as far as being a mama...I want to do and give her everything I never had...and I have to keep reminding myself to just give her love...for who she is not who I want her to be...thats more then anything I ever got...but sadly I fall into that parent type that buys their child everything she asks for :( I'm creating a monster....but like they say...first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one...

omg I just yacked and smacked for a million miles..sorry folks lol. I need a journal lol.

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It's okay honey, being a mom is often a bit of a lonely job (they never tell you about that in those happy baby is on the way books!).

A bit of advice from a mom if you don't mind honey. Learn to tell her no and mean it, through all the tears and maybe even a tantrum or that look that will break your heart. If our kids don't learn no from a loving parent, think how it will feel for them to face a world that is often very full of no's. Helping them learn even at a young age about setting limits, wants versus needs, and accepting that they don't run their world but are a valuable part of it....those are all life lessons that will better prepare them for the world beyond our arms.

It's a tough world and as they grow you have to let them deal with it, with all it's glory and disappointments. What we teach them early on will help shape how they deal with what curves life's road presents. Too much stuff, gotten too easily or lessons that "if I cry or pout or smile pretty - I get something"...well hon think of what that really teaches a child. I'm not saying to not give in occasionally or be too tough a mom but I think it's about balance and making sometimes very tough decisions for very good long term reasons. :)

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

It's okay honey, being a mom is often a bit of a lonely job (they never tell you about that in those happy baby is on the way books!).

A bit of advice from a mom if you don't mind honey. Learn to tell her no and mean it, through all the tears and maybe even a tantrum or that look that will break your heart. If our kids don't learn no from a loving parent, think how it will feel for them to face a world that is often very full of no's. Helping them learn even at a young age about setting limits, wants versus needs, and accepting that they don't run their world but are a valuable part of it....those are all life lessons that will better prepare them for the world beyond our arms.

It's a tough world and as they grow you have to let them deal with it, with all it's glory and disappointments. What we teach them early on will help shape how they deal with what curves life's road presents. Too much stuff, gotten too easily or lessons that "if I cry or pout or smile pretty - I get something"...well hon think of what that really teaches a child. I'm not saying to not give in occasionally or be too tough a mom but I think it's about balance and making sometimes very tough decisions for very good long term reasons. :)

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I agree 100%...for sure she has changed into a diffrent person then she once was...I duh know about you but I dont call it the terrible two's because it isnt at all terrible...seeing her frustrated over something is just her growing up and becoming her own person...they learn so quickly at this age and it isnt that they are bad because they scream and fight you on everything...they have this battle going on inside...their tiny minds say yes you can do this..yet they still lack the skills to actually do it...and thats hard..heck I face those fights myself LOL...I did get used to having that child that never cried...she was always in this amazing calm...and I thought "pfftt I can have 30 of these kids...what was everyone talking about it being so hard" and I found that she was at peace because I was an attached parent...I read her like a book and knew what she wanted and needed before she did...I did everything I could in my power to insure she never cried...never felt upset...alone...scared...because I didnt want her to feel those things like I did. And now she is 2.5...and those feelings cant be cured with things...she's going to feel those no matter what I do...its just the facts of life...and I try my hardest to see her not being mean...but strong willed and I love that about her and hope that never changes...I think we allwant our daughters to grow to fight for what they believe and what they want...and at the same time I do have to step up and let her know that as much as you might want something right now this very minute...the world wont stop for you...wish it would but it wont. I do need to step up in that area...it is sad we have to teach our children the world isnt perfect and not everyone can be happy at every moment of the day forever...but again if I dont teach her they will...and I'll have to pick up the pieces when she crashes an struggles. It is hard coupled with Brian and I havent extremely diffrent views on parenting..and me becoming the parent I never wanted to be (the yelling quick to get mad kind...) and the fact that he works alot puts a HUGE amount of stress on me...and I find I get mad at him for getting upset with her over something...because he isnt home often so I figure really if you are away for 16 hours a day you want each moment with her to be laughs and fun...yet I know thats wrong aswell...I dont want her to think "awesome when Dads home I go balls to the walls and he wont do anything about it" sheesh having children is tough lol we dont get enough credit for this job for sure!!! And I dont think anyone other then a mama really knows how hard it truly is...your job is to care for someone...to help ready them for the world and at the same time try and take care of yourself...I love the moms who can do both and make it look so simple...
I think ..well hope..she will turn out fine...I think so far in this life with her I've done more then my parents ever did as far as a positive life goes..an already my goal has been met. I think she will see all that we have done for her and respect that...atleast I can hope.
Aww it's getting deep in here!!!
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