(TW: written gore) Difficult BP + Horrifying Nightmares: What next?

My heart is breaking as I write this. He continues to show no interest in food. I'm exhausted. I worked with him with a pinky rat and he looked at it, smelled it, flicked his tongue, but backed off. I've left it in there for him to think about overnight. If he doesn't take this meal, I think I'm going to look at rehoming options. I just can't take any more of this stress. I didn't know what I was getting into when I got my first BP, and that's on me. At least now I know.

I really do feel your pain, especially since this is your first BP (& first snake also?) & you obviously care a lot about his survival. Some snakes can be beyond frustrating, & no one expects such constant difficulty with a pet- especially since this has been your whole experience, not just an occasional bad spell. Can't say I blame you for wanting to rehome him. Just make sure you find someone with BP experience & let them know what's been going on. Mismatches of pets & people can happen for many reasons- & not only with snakes.

By the way, smakemom- BPs are often touted as great beginner snakes (mostly because they are docile & remain a manageable size), but I think that's very misleading. There is SO much you have to get just right, & sadly, the overselling of BPs to beginners just sets some owners up for failure, in my opinion. Even if you do decide to rehome him, I hope you don't give up on snakes altogether...but give it some time.

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Originally Posted by Bogertophis

By the way, smakemom- BPs are often touted as great beginner snakes (mostly because they are docile & remain a manageable size), but I think that's very misleading. There is SO much you have to get just right, & sadly, the overselling of BPs to beginners just sets some owners up for failure, in my opinion. Even if you do decide to rehome him, I hope you don't give up on snakes altogether...but give it some time.

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This, so much this, both on misleading advertising and not writing off snakes entirely.

I don't breed BPs (though I have kept one for 15 years now), but I do work with a small handful of other snake species that are pretty far to each end of the continuum of complication regarding their care. I do try to sway novice keepers toward a species that is tolerant of cage parameters (so, not rainbow boas) and also is known to not have periodic feeding issues (so, not hognose). Milksnakes and rosy boas are snakes I work with that I like to recommend for first time keepers, but there are certainly many others that folks here could suggest.

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Originally Posted by Malum Argenteum

Milksnakes and rosy boas are snakes I work with that I like to recommend for first time keepers, but there are certainly many others that folks here could suggest.

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I have a Children's python and, for ease of care, they're tough to beat.

Better yet: corn, rat (some kinds), king (some kinds) & gopher/bull snakes all are easy too. AND they require much less heat to be healthy & feeding. I'd put corn snakes at the top of the list for "easy"- as long as you don't start with a newly-hatched (tiny!) one.

Corn snakes stay a modest size, they're curious & easy to handle, usually very docile but very eager eaters of frozen-thawed (dead) prey- no heating of their food is required (just fully thaw). Bonus: they're very pretty, & come in many colors. Oh, & they're very available & not expensive unless you choose something rare & "cutting edge".

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Originally Posted by Bogertophis

I'd put corn snakes at the top of the list for "easy"- as long as you don't start with a newly-hatched (tiny!) one.

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That brings up some more criteria for a good first snake. Not too young, and also a specimen that has a stellar feeding record over a substantial amount of time. For some species this isn't always possible since hatchlings sell out quickly, but for others (ball pythons are one of them) it is easy to find older examples for which the feeding (and temperament) history is known.

For some species (BPs again) there are literally thousands of breeders, from which a buyer can choose to find one who will take the time to provide a snake that has a higher than average chance of being trouble free.

For some species (I think BPs? Anyway, some of the smaller boids for sure) males are much more likely to be problematic feeders, so sometimes even choosing the right sex can make some difference.

After rehoming Smake (and if any of you have good resources or recommendations on how to go about this so I find a good match, please let me know) I plan to wait on getting another reptile until I move states and get re-established in my new home (timeline of about a year or so) so that I don't have to worry about care and upkeep and can properly mourn rehoming him. I had a very big cry about it last night, but ultimately I think it's the right choice. Smake was my first and only reptile, and I don't blame or resent him for his behavior, I just don't have the means or mental stability to create the environment he is wanting.

In the future, I was thinking about getting a Mexican black kingsnake (not a newborn, but instead one that's a bit older). I've read good things, that they're fairly well-tempered and excellent eaters, and are quite hardy. Let me know what you have heard of them and if you have any warnings I should be aware of.

Thank you everyone for your help.

Depending on where you are, there could be some bigger reptile groups to reach out to. For example, Snake Discovery does a lot of good work with rescues and adoptions.

Otherwise you can maybe reach out to an employee at a local specialty shop if you trust them. They may be able to point you in the right directions

smakemom- your plan to wait until after you move & get re-established sounds fine to me. Moving is enough stress all by itself.

As far as rehoming, I'd try asking any exotic vet offices in your area- some may have bulletin boards for such purposes, or know someone- even someone on their staff may be interested. If there are any herpetological groups in your area, that's another contact to make. If you need to find herp vets nearest you > > > https://members.arav.org/search/custom.asp?id=3661

Mexican black king snakes make great pets- I used to have a pair of them, many years back. That's my favorite kind of king snake- for temperament, appearance & ease of care. Good choice.

Today, I surrendered Smake to a retired veterinarian (now caretaker of a reptile breeding facility) (I found him using ARAV) who was kind enough to take him into his care. I hope he is able to live comfortably and thrive in his new home. He seemed to do well when he overnighted at his original breeder's facility all those years ago, so I am hopeful.

Thank you for everyone's help. Coming to this decision was extremely difficult and the result of many tears and heartache. Wishing everyone a happy holidays, and continued success with your respective collections.

Please don't "beat yourself up" over making this decision- I think you did the right thing for BOTH of you. I have a feeling the change will be good for both of you- it's just that you got in "over your head", & how awesome that you found a retired veterinarian to take him in. Plenty of experience there- :gj: Sometimes the best thing you can do is learn from your experience & move on.