All Women Should Read This

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Originally Posted by Coleslaw007

Wow... even with all the recent the jackassery on the forums, I think this post just might win most jack-ass post of the year so far. How can you even in the slightest tell someone what they went through was "just a medical procedure"??? She didn't give many details, you have no idea what went on. This entire post was in extremely poor taste.

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Might it be because an adult with any legitimate complaint would oh I don't know, <b> be able to verbalize it</b>.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I'm actually speechless and almost in tears.

And to RoseyReps:

When something happens to you, such as a sexual assault, a car crash, a house fire, you get hyper-aware and hyper-sensitive a lot of the time.

I'm not going to apologize for being weary of all men because they may feel insulted.

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You don't have to apologize for being afraid of men. That's your business. Please do not assume you know me, and know my story. I have been sexually assaulted, when I was 15. The only reason I wasn't raped was because there was a broom near by which I effectively used to deter him with a swift swing to the groin.

You are right, people who have been through it have a right to be hyper-sensitive. That does not mean they should tell everyone to believe every man is out to hurt them. That is their own, personal issue, that they need to work on or live with. Not how others should live.

My aunt lost her daughter in a fatal car crash, afterwards she was very much afraid of riding in cars and was afraid of others riding in cars. That doesn't mean it's the normal, and should be considered a good rule of thumb for others to live by. It's not a normal pattern of thought, and it should be something you (people, not you specifically, that's your call) work on to get past.

You are so rude and clearly have NO idea how sexual assault works.

Do you blame victims of rape because they should have been able to "fight back"?

Sickening. Absolutely sickening.

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Originally Posted by RoseyReps

Please do not assume you know me, and know my story. I have been sexually assaulted, when I was 15. The only reason I wasn't raped was because there was a broom near by which I effectively used to deter him with a swift swing to the groin.

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I wasn't assuming anything. The "you" was a general "you", and not "you" specifically.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Uhh, then you are a sexist. You should realize that rape is the lowest occurring of all violent crimes to happen.
That would be like being afraid of black people or tall people because somewhere some tall black guy robbed someone.
Besides being the height of stupidity it is bigotry plain and simple.
Not only that this very attitude makes one less safe.
Any given man is far more likely to help someone, protect someone, etc than to injure or rape someone. But, this very attitude is making it less likely that a man will help a woman.
And, really why should they risk being viewed as a "creep", or "having ulterior motives" as repayment for their taking any risks on your behalf.

Oh, and if you "aren't sure what to call it", I'll help you out.
They are referred to as "medical examinations". They can be embarrassing or uncomfortable without being sexual in the least. Just ask any guy over 50.

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I see you're new to this forum. Congrats for being invited to leave. This was, without a doubt, the dumbest post I have ever seen. I can't believe you would even suggest that what happened to Cat wasn't real. What an ass (infract away - so worth it).

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Might it be because an adult with any legitimate complaint would oh I don't know, <b> be able to verbalize it</b>.

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You seriously need to just walk away from this. You are doing nothing for your argument (which is one I actually agreed with) but making yourself look like an idiot. It is actually incredibly hard to verbalize what you have been through, especially to a bunch of strangers on a forum. And honestly, it's non of our business what the extent of her situation was. It was enough to change her train of thought and effect her daily life, therefore it's serious enough, in my opinion, to be given more respect that what you have shown.


Edit: Cat - Understood. With the header of roseyreps I ASSumed (thanks wes ;) ) that you meant me. My apologies! (ASSuming always makes an arse out of me)

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Originally Posted by RoseyReps

You seriously need to just walk away from this. You are doing nothing for your argument (which is one I actually agreed with) but making yourself look like an idiot. It is actually incredibly hard to verbalize what you have been through, especially to a bunch of strangers on a forum. And honestly, it's non of our business what the extent of her situation was. It was enough to change her train of thought and effect her daily life, therefore it's serious enough, in my opinion, to be given more respect that what you have shown.


Edit: Cat - Understood. With the header of roseyreps I ASSumed (thanks wes ;) ) that you meant me. My apologies! (ASSuming always makes an arse out of me)

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My post was directed at you, but I meant that the "yous" were general!

I may not be able to articulate my thoughts too clearly when I'm raging. It just baffles me that anyone would try to de-legitimize someone else's claim of sexual assault.

I think I should step away from this thread for a little bit.

Im considering getting an infraction for telling Raven how i really feel...

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

My post was directed at you, but I meant that the "yous" were general!

I may not be able to articulate my thoughts too clearly when I'm raging. It just baffles me that anyone would try to de-legitimize someone else's claim of sexual assault.

I think I should step away from this thread for a little bit.

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I understood :) I was just rationalizing my assumption was all.

That is a big reason why a lot of rapes go unreported, because of people like that Raven person. It's very sad, and sickening indeed.

Im inclined to believe that cancer and Scrubs getting cancelled is ravens fault too...

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

Im inclined to believe that cancer and Scrubs getting cancelled is ravens fault too...

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Probably. I miss scrubs :(

I'm thinking misogyny is alive and well in Peterborough.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I am DEFINITELY not sexist.

And you are so incredibly wrong its ridiculous. Where are your sources? Are you trying to say that more people get MURDERED than they get raped? Rape is one of the HIGHEST occurring violent crime, in ALL provinces in Canada "Canadian Crime Data 2006". Statistics Canada. Archived from the original on March 7, 2008. Retrieved 2008-03-25.

How dare you.

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How dare you use data that include "I didn't like the way he looked at me" or " someone elbowed my breast in a crowded bar" to purposefully increase statistics and get more funding as if it were peer reviewed and unbiased.
This does a huge disservice to real victims that deserve help

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Also take into consideration that many, many, many, many sexual assaults and rapes DO NOT get reported.

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Okay. Prove it.
While you are at it disprove that 80% of all sexual assaults reported by military personnel are later PROVEN to be false.

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I am assuming you are male. Check your god damn privilege. Boo hoo, we must view you to be predators because it is the safest thing for us to do.

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Check your self. The sex of a person does not add or subtract from the value of what her or she says (To claim otherwise is sexist)
So, then you advocate viewing all blacks and Hispanics as potential muggers (because it is the "safest" thing to do).
Bull. That is a very unhealthy attitude, bordering on mentally ill.

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And you have NO idea what happened to me in the doctors office. You are so insulting and belittling I am shaking writing this. It WAS sexual assault.

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Funny, by your own admission YOU don't know what to call it.
Feeling "icky" is not indicative of sexual assault. If you do have a VALID complaint then file criminal charges and contact your local College of Physicians/Medical Board etc, whichever applies.
And, ya you can expect to be asked questions to find out whether or not you have a valid complaint or an axe to grind (hint false accusations do happen quite regularly, another waste of money that could be used to help real victims)

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Might it be because an adult with any legitimate complaint would oh I don't know, <b> be able to verbalize it</b>.

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Not necessarily true, you never know how will react to something until it actually happens to you. You may think you may be calm and collected and can explain yourself. But let's say theoretically Someone held you down against your will and had their way with you. You may think you would react a certain way, but there is also a chance you may go cry in a corner and be to ashamed to tell anyone.

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Originally Posted by swansonbb

I'm thinking misogyny is alive and well in Peterborough.

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That is the dumbest lie yet.
Women are a class of people, I can't say I have any love for professional victims but, that is by no means ALL women or hopefully even most of them.

Grab a dictionary and learn the word before using it.
Also, you should focus on the content of a message rather than slinging mud at people.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Not necessarily true, you never know how will react to something until it actually happens to you. You may think you may be calm and collected and can explain yourself. But let's say theoretically Someone held you down against your will and had their way with you. You may think you would react a certain way, but there is also a chance you may go cry in a corner and be to ashamed to tell anyone.

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You seem a decent sort. And, I get where you are coming from.
It is not my intent to take away from or deny any real victims.
Think about what you have said and reconsider.
An adult woman KNOWS what exactly happened, they may or may not choose to share this with a partner but they don't say "I'm not sure".

I don't doubt you would be as quick as me to help someone being assaulted as I would yet, why should you allow these delusional people to try to feed you a shame sandwich for the crime of being born male?
You are free to accept it, I am not.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

You seem a decent sort. And, I get where you are coming from.
It is not my intent to take away from or deny any real victims.
Think about what you have said and reconsider.
An adult woman KNOWS what exactly happened, they may or may not choose to share this with a partner but they don't say "I'm not sure".

I don't doubt you would be as quick as me to help someone being assaulted as I would yet, why should you allow these delusional people to try to feed you a shame sandwich for the crime of being born male?
You are free to accept it, I am not.

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As far as I'm concerned if someone says they were raped male or female I'm inclined to believe them. No not every case turns out to be rape, I have personally responded to a rape case where it turned out to be a false claim. But until that it proven its just not good form to call them a liar with out knowing facts about what happened.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Might it be because an adult with any legitimate complaint would oh I don't know, <b> be able to verbalize it</b>.

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Might it be because she doesn't NEED to, or WANT to share what happened to her with some jerk on the internet???

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

Yeah. I think the idea that all men are evil, etc, etc. Is absolute and total bull. I also don't like it that there's a handful here that are trying to speak for all women, claiming that we have to always act like men are predators.

If what happened to you is impacting how you interact with 50% of the world's population, then quite honestly, you should seek professional help for it. It's not normal, and it's certainly not healthy.

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Originally Posted by interloc

This is why I like Canada.

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?????!

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Originally Posted by Raven01

How dare you use data that include "I didn't like the way he looked at me" or " someone elbowed my breast in a crowded bar" to purposefully increase statistics and get more funding as if it were peer reviewed and unbiased.
This does a huge disservice to real victims that deserve help

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What does this even mean?

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Okay. Prove it.
While you are at it disprove that 80% of all sexual assaults reported by military personnel are later PROVEN to be false.

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There are many surveys and studies out there that support what I have written.
Since you don't like my sources, I suggest you do a little research yourself.

I didn't report what happened to me, and I know many people who have been sexually assaulted who haven't reported.
2 of my ex boyfriends were raped as children, and they did not report.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Check your self. The sex of a person does not add or subtract from the value of what her or she says (To claim otherwise is sexist)
So, then you advocate viewing all blacks and Hispanics as potential muggers (because it is the "safest" thing to do).
Bull. That is a very unhealthy attitude, bordering on mentally ill.

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No, it doesn't add or subtract value. I only claimed that males were privileged in our society, which does not invalidate what you say.

And please do not put words in my mouth about blacks and Hispanics. I said nothing.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Funny, by your own admission YOU don't know what to call it.
Feeling "icky" is not indicative of sexual assault. If you do have a VALID complaint then file criminal charges and contact your local College of Physicians/Medical Board etc, whichever applies.
And, ya you can expect to be asked questions to find out whether or not you have a valid complaint or an axe to grind (hint false accusations do happen quite regularly, another waste of money that could be used to help real victims)

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No, I don't know what exactly to call it, but it falls under the umbrella of sexual assault.

I do not have to detail my experience with you.



Way to be, champ.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Yeah. I think the idea that all men are evil, etc, etc. Is absolute and total bull. I also don't like it that there's a handful here that are trying to speak for all women, claiming that we have to always act like men are predators.

If what happened to you is impacting how you interact with 50% of the world's population, then quite honestly, you should seek professional help for it. It's not normal, and it's certainly not healthy.

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I love how now I've apparently said that all men are evil.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Might it be because an adult with any legitimate complaint would oh I don't know, <b> be able to verbalize it</b>.

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Not everyone responds in that way. I personally know a victim of abuse who took 30 years to be able to tell anyone at all.

I'm a big, hairy, scruffy guy and I can understand women ( or anyone really ) feeling uncomfortable if I suddenly loomed out of the darkness.

I am, however not an animal or powerless against my base nature. The assumption that a man is incapable of controling himself is inherant in the "she was asking for it dressed like that" garbage.

I can control my "urges" just fine thankyou. I also know not to take offense if perfect strangers don't know that. If that avoids them being attacked by a real predator then it is worth that little wince I felt at being mistaken for one.



dr del

Who comes onto a thread about tips for women to stay safe and starts questioning people on whether or not they were "actually" assaulted.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY. WHY. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. GO AWAY.

Women should be cautious of all men. This doesn't mean that all women should assume all men are predators!!!

Just because I'm not reading 8 pages.... in case no one pointed it out, the original post is partially-to-mostly false. Check snopes to see the full write up, but rapists do NOT have a set type, no long hair = easier victim, no certain areas or times, and fighting back can work against you or for you, depending on the circumstances.

You know what I'd love to see? Less "How to avoid being raped" and more "Don't rape" being taught. Sure, people say "OH, we all know rape is wrong" but I hear from guys(and some girls) about how it's "okay" if the victim is nearly passed out drunk, or drugged, or said no but hey they were on a date, or they didn't fight back 'enough' to count... Why don't we teach how rape is wrong... but we teach how to react if you're raped?

There's no set formula to avoid being targeted for rape. There's a lot you can do to attempt to defend yourself if you are attacked, but it's not foolproof and counting on "Oh I have short hair and I don't go to dark alleys..." as a way to avoid it is not a wise thing.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I love how now I've apparently said that all men are evil.

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You're essentially, word for word, saying the same things as an article I had to do a critical analysis of that was written by an extreme feminist. However, I also said "A handful". Pural. More than one. In no way did I expressly point out you. However, kindly refrain from stating that all women have to view men as predators.

I don't. My mother doesn't. Numerous other women I know don't.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

You know what I'd love to see? Less "How to avoid being raped" and more "Don't rape" being taught.

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While your heart is in the right place I have to disagree. I don't believe you can teach the mentally sick, to not be mentally sick.
I'm sure on rare occasion a lonely loser decides he needs to have sex and that's the only way. But I believe that is far and few between. More than anything I think it's the mentally sick that commit most rapes, and there is nothing that will change them.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I disagree with this.

We kind of have to. It makes me sick, but we have to in order to try to be as safe as possible.

I was sexually assaulted (something like that - still not sure what to call it but it wasn't right and left me hysterical and in tears) in a doctor's office.
That has taught me that NO WHERE is safe and NO ONE can be trusted.

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I'm not reading anything here that deserved such a rude attack from raven. CatandDiallo simply stated that she disagrees with a previously posted comment. And she gave some reasoning as to why SHE thinks that women should be so cautious of men. Raven is just outright disrespectful.

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Originally Posted by wolfy-hound

Just because I'm not reading 8 pages.... in case no one pointed it out, the original post is partially-to-mostly false. Check snopes to see the full write up, but rapists do NOT have a set type, no long hair = easier victim, no certain areas or times, and fighting back can work against you or for you, depending on the circumstances.

You know what I'd love to see? Less "How to avoid being raped" and more "Don't rape" being taught. Sure, people say "OH, we all know rape is wrong" but I hear from guys(and some girls) about how it's "okay" if the victim is nearly passed out drunk, or drugged, or said no but hey they were on a date, or they didn't fight back 'enough' to count... Why don't we teach how rape is wrong... but we teach how to react if you're raped?

There's no set formula to avoid being targeted for rape. There's a lot you can do to attempt to defend yourself if you are attacked, but it's not foolproof and counting on "Oh I have short hair and I don't go to dark alleys..." as a way to avoid it is not a wise thing.

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This post was for telling women how to PROTECT THEMSELVES.

If someone wants to make a thread outlining how males should AVOID RAPING WOMEN, I'd love to see it. Me personally, I'm thankful to have these tips. They could save my life one day. Telling men not to rape me is not my job.

And here we go with the idea that all men are rapists that are one step away from losing control..

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Originally Posted by Raptor

You're essentially, word for word, saying the same things as an article I had to do a critical analysis of that was written by an extreme feminist. However, I also said "A handful". Pural. More than one. In no way did I expressly point out you. However, kindly refrain from stating that all women have to view men as predators.

I don't. My mother doesn't. Numerous other women I know don't.

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My first post came off differently than I wanted it to, because I was a little off-put by some people in this thread.

I meant to say, that some women often feel the need to view men as POTENTIALLY dangerous, because that seems like the right thing to do in order to feel safe.

If I'm walking through a mall, or the street during the day, I don't look at every man and think "PREDATORS!" in my head, especially when I'm with someone. I am, however, very weary if a man approaches me/hits on me/tries to have a conversation with me if I am alone, no matter the time of day. I know many women who feel the same.

I have acknowledged that this must be based on what I have experienced.


Then this just got out of hand with Mr. Victim Blamer.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

And here we go with the idea that all men are rapists that are one step away from losing control..

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Lol I do have to agree there does seem to be a hint of anti men feeling in the room.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Forget pepper spray, invest in a glock, that will keep the rapists at bay.
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/13/02/08/aneju9eg.jpg

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I live in Maryland "the free state" where we're not allowed to legally protect ourselves so.....

http://www.myswitchblade.com/v/vspfi...TSWNGDAG-3.jpg

If you're lucky enough to live in a non-fascist state that allows open or concealed carry, please arm yourselves.

When seconds count, the police are only minutes away...if they show up at all.

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Originally Posted by Salamander

I live in Maryland "the free state" where we're not allowed to legally protect ourselves so

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That sucks :(

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No, it doesn't add or subtract value. I only claimed that males were privileged in our society, which does not invalidate what you say.

And please do not put words in my mouth about blacks and Hispanics. I said nothing

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"Check your privilege" is nothing but a shaming tactic to silence opposition. So, if that was not your intent why even use it?

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No, I don't know what exactly to call it, but it falls under the umbrella of sexual assault.

I do not have to detail my experience with you.

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"Umbrella of sexual assault"
That is an issue in itself. Sexual assault is not necessarily rape while rape is sexual assault.
The "crime" you describe quite literally could be quite literally, "I felt uncomfortable with how he was looking at me" right on through to rape. The two should never be treated the same. One is obvious harm to another and deserves legal ramifications, the other is more a case of some one needing to be told to put on her big girl panties and get over herself. And anything in between.

I don't recall asking for any specifics at all.
What I DID say was, if you have a legit complaint you should file said complaint with the appropriate people.
One of 2 things went on and I don't care which.
Either you are correct or incorrect in your version of what occurred. If you are correct and knowing what you know and not filing a complaint you are essentially allowing this person to do the same to others.

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I love how now I've apparently said that all men are evil.

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I'll stand up for you here and say that you did not in fact say all men are evil.
What you said was all men should be treated like they are evil.


Oh, Raptor. Thank you.

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Originally Posted by qtepythons

thanks for the post. I have 4 daughters. They need to read this. They are teenagers.
at what age do you think a girl should read this? The 2 daughters i'm going to have read it are 13 and 15.
My wife and i have already taught them to avoid men when possible.

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Now.

..Lol "Avoid men when possible"? Wow. They'd be utterly screwed if they were in my position. My friday organic chemistry lab is all men. According to some of the people here, I ought to be having a panic attack.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

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"Check your privilege" is nothing but a shaming tactic to silence opposition. So, if that was not your intent why even use it?




"Umbrella of sexual assault"
That is an issue in itself. Sexual assault is not necessarily rape while rape is sexual assault.
The "crime" you describe quite literally could be quite literally, "I felt uncomfortable with how he was looking at me" right on through to rape. The two should never be treated the same. One is obvious harm to another and deserves legal ramifications, the other is more a case of some one needing to be told to put on her big girl panties and get over herself. And anything in between.

I don't recall asking for any specifics at all.
What I DID say was, if you have a legit complaint you should file said complaint with the appropriate people.
One of 2 things went on and I don't care which.
Either you are correct or incorrect in your version of what occurred. If you are correct and knowing what you know and not filing a complaint you are essentially allowing this person to do the same to others.


I'll stand up for you here and say that you did not in fact say all men are evil.
What you said was all men should be treated like they are evil.


Oh, Raptor. Thank you.

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Never, NEVER tell a victim of sexual assault to report their assault because it will "help stop the perpetrator from doing the same to others". It is not their fault what the perpetrator did to them.
This pits a huge, huge burden on the victim, when there should be none.

Also, having and recognizing certain privileges should not shame you. I fully recognize my white privilege and everything that comes with it, and boy has it opened my eyes.
It was an attempt to get you to realize that you may not have to consider some of the things that we may have to at certain times, and to try to get you to look at things from a different perspective.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

..Lol "Avoid men when possible"? Wow. They'd be utterly screwed if they were in my position. My friday organic chemistry lab is all men. According to some of the people here, I ought to be having a panic attack.

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Yeah, I definitely read this and thought it was the wrong way of going about things. It is a bit extreme.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

Never, NEVER tell a victim of sexual assault to report their assault because it will "help stop the perpetrator from doing the same to others". It is not their fault what the perpetrator did to them.
This pits a huge, huge burden on the victim, when there should be none.

Also, having and recognizing certain privileges should not shame you. I fully recognize my white privilege and everything that comes with it, and boy has it opened my eyes.
It was an attempt to get you to realize that you may not have to consider some of the things that we may have to at certain times, and to try to get you to look at things from a different perspective.

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THANK YOU.

Realizing your "privilege" has nothing to do with making you feel guilty.

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Originally Posted by OctagonGecko729

First off, I am really sorry that this happened to you, no one should ever have to go through that and I really do not even want to imagine how this must have effected you. I know you've probably heard it a hundred times but I mean it.

It is also depressingly common that victims of sexual assault know their attacker personally. An upwards of 80% of sexual assault victims were raped/molested by a family member or friend.

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Mine was my aunt's husband [a pedo] and then my brother in law.

"Total strangers" have never harmed me.

As a young 'un, I was in far more danger with my own 'family' than in a crowd of strangers.

For most of my life I've either had a really nasty Dobermann with me or at least one razor sharp dagger hidden on my person...often both at the same time.

I learned very young that no one was was going to protect me but me.

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Originally Posted by Rob

While your heart is in the right place I have to disagree. I don't believe you can teach the mentally sick, to not be mentally sick.
I'm sure on rare occasion a lonely loser decides he needs to have sex and that's the only way. But I believe that is far and few between. More than anything I think it's the mentally sick that commit most rapes, and there is nothing that will change them.

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Exactly!
Pre-judging anyone especially based solely on things they cannot change about themselves is pretty sick. Worse being treated like a criminally insane person because you happen to share one similar gene is pretty harsh.

Check out the guy from Auction Hunters in this SnakeBytes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJo80tqKhE8

He rescues reptiles from inept people. Look at his demeanor versus his physical appearance.
There is a guy I would trust with any of my animals, pffft. If I personally knew him I bet he would be great interacting with my kids too.

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

Never, NEVER tell a victim of sexual assault to report their assault because it will "help stop the perpetrator from doing the same to others". It is not their fault what the perpetrator did to them.
This pits a huge, huge burden on the victim, when there should be none.

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Too late I already did and stand by it.
If I refuse to expose a pedo and then subsequently, other children are harmed by that person I would also be guilty to a degree of allowing that to happen despite having never harmed anyone except in self-defense in my entire life.
You are free to dislike what I say or disagree, that still doesn't make me wrong.

I never said that women shouldn't be taught to protect themselves. But relying on junk like 'Rapists want women with long hair...' is not helpful. Neither is implying that rapes happen in dark alleys, or certain situations, when we all know that rape can happen in almost any circumstance. Believing in rape=attacked by stranger in dark alley is why some women think that getting forced into a bedroom at a party and held down for forced sex doesn't = rape.

And technically, the "treat all men like they are evil" isn't quite right either. I think the idea is to treat all men like they COULD BE evil. (not that I agree that it is right or wrong... just trying to clarify what I think the point is)

I don't treat all people like they're out to get me, I'm merely AWARE of a potential for bad things at any point, anywhere. I can enjoy life, smile at people, treat people with kindness and generosity and still be watching for potential trouble.

Not looking like a potential victim is a good tactic to avoid being attacked... by a mugger or kidnapper perhaps. It's not proof against a rapist who might be looking and thinking inside his sick mind "Who does she think she is!? Walking around like she owns the street..." There is NO set rapist formula. That doesn't mean it's a bad tactic, but thinking that it will stop all rapists is bad, just like assuming that carrying a handgun is proof against being raped, or knowing karate is proof against being raped. Nothing is foolproof. Best is to have a dozen tactics in your head... and then use judgement to decide which tactic serves you best.

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Too late I already did and stand by it.
If I refuse to expose a pedo and then subsequently, other children are harmed by that person I would also be guilty to a degree of allowing that to happen despite having never harmed anyone except in self-defense in my entire life.
You are free to dislike what I say or disagree, that still doesn't make me wrong.

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This put the burden and the blame back on to the victim, which is so damn wrong.

The victim isn't allowing ANYTHING.

The rapist/pedo/whoever is the one who is doing the raping/whathaveyou.


Do I think that it would help for people who have experienced assault to report the people who have assaulted them? Absolutely. However, I would never guilt-trip someone into doing it. Ever.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rob

That sucks :(

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Yeah, it sure does.

So.....I "carry" this instead.

http://file.walagata.com/w/the-salam...F0225-copy.jpg

He pretty much makes me not "victim material" to everyone.

:oops:

Rape/molestation is a crime and should be treated as such, which means reporting it. The burden is on the victim to report it. Just like it's on a homeowner to report that their house has been broken into, or someone who has witnessed a murder.

But he is so handsome!!

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Originally Posted by Raven01

Funny, by your own admission YOU don't know what to call it.
Feeling "icky" is not indicative of sexual assault. If you do have a VALID complaint then file criminal charges and contact your local College of Physicians/Medical Board etc, whichever applies.
And, ya you can expect to be asked questions to find out whether or not you have a valid complaint or an axe to grind (hint false accusations do happen quite regularly, another waste of money that could be used to help real victims)

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I won't call you an insensitive piece of crap, but everything you've said so far certainly makes me want to. In case you missed it:

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Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

I was sexually assaulted (something like that - still not sure what to call it but it wasn't right and left me hysterical and in tears) in a doctor's office.
That has taught me that NO WHERE is safe and NO ONE can be trusted.

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It might not fall into the definition of 'rape' but then again there are lots of things that do not fall into the definition of rape that are still some form of sexual assault and CAN be difficult to define.


To everybody else bashing everybody else about how everybody else is dangerous (still following? Hope you can keep up with those blinders on):

I view my interactions with strangers, particularly those who are obviously capable of overpowering me (which is most people - I'm 5'7 and 115 lbs, I get winded walking up the stairs to work and I chew my fingernails), similarly to how I view snake bites, or even encounters with stray dogs. I don't anticipate every one of my snakes (or dogs) biting me - it happens very rarely, but I am fully aware that it can happen, and likely will happen at some point in the future. I am conscious of what my animals are capable of, and react or prepare accordingly. I'm not afraid to reach into my tubs, and I RARELY even flinch when there is a strike. I know how to read behavior of my snakes, of dogs or cats I encounter out in the world, and the same applies when encountering human strangers.

These 'tips' are good for MEN too. Men get assaulted - by women AND by other men. Think it's difficult for a woman to accurately express what happened to her, or to build up the courage to seek help? It can be just as difficult, if not more so, for a man, in a society that is even harsher on a male victim than a female victim in it's response to a rape or sexual assault accusation.

The point of this thread is to spark awareness. It's to encourage people to pay attention to their surroundings. Sure, assaults are NOT that common on a whole, but to assume everything is lollipops and icecream, and therefore pointing out any of this info on this thread is of no use, or is too one sided, is ridiculous. If a thread were started about proper steps to have a 'fire emergency plan/kit' it would be just as ridiculous to point out that fires don't actually happen that frequently, and to disregard fire safety plans from the get-go.

Know your strengths AND your weaknesses. Understand how they can be exploited. The point is not to be fearful, but to be prepared.

I was just about to say, look a heated thread and wilomn isn't in it...........wait he's the op.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

Rape/molestation is a crime and should be treated as such, which means reporting it. The burden is on the victim to report it. Just like it's on a homeowner to report that their house has been broken into, or someone who has witnessed a murder.

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What if the victim is 10 years old and their parents have basically told them to STFU about it because if 'trouble in the family' happens because they opened their mouth they're going to be 'disowned'?

What 10 year old is emotionally equipped to handle that?

What happens later when the 10 year old is grown up and the rest of the extended family is consolidated in 'protecting' the pedo to make sure the pedo's wife is not "hurt"?

Do you have any idea what living with that kind of conspiracy to reward guilt and punish innocence does to a person?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Salamander

What if the victim is 10 years old and their parents have basically told them to STFU about it because if 'trouble in the family' happens because they opened their mouth they're going to be 'disowned'?

What 10 year old is emotionally equipped to handle that?

What happens later when the 10 year old is grown up and the rest of the extended family is consolidated in 'protecting' the pedo to make sure the pedo's wife is not "hurt"?

Do you have any idea what living with that kind of conspiracy to reward guilt and punish innocence does to a person?

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It happened to my mother, though she was a great deal younger. You know what she did? She worked through her issues. Although, she didn't say anything because she knew that if her father found out, he'd kill the person responsible.