Holiday trouble with my family :/ Snake related

I understand, I mean, after all its your mother. If it were me, I'd take a whole different route. Including all applicable expliatves and guilt tripping things.

However, my parents haven't helped pay for any of my education thus far (I'm a Junior) and only pay for my phone because my grandparents used to and couldn't anymore. So, they have no real say in what I do.

It's odd though, I was thinking about you and your situation when a similar one popped up in my wife's family. We asked to borrow my wife's grandfather's truck so we could drive about 45 minutes south to pick up a larger custom wood cage for for the chameleon we acquired. He almost said no, and made the claim (not to me, or I'd have blown up) that we are probably already doing something illegal with how many animals I have and that we shouldn't be getting more. I was not around to know or hear about this conversation, but my wife almost tried to affirm him that we're not legal. So I went and contacted the head of animal welfare for our town and there is only a three dog limit with a kennel license required for more than three. And only a nuisance law for cats. No limit on any other, and no language prescribing for reptile limits. ;)

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Maybe try a different approach on the situation and try to put her in a situation where she is kind of put in your shoes.

example: hey mom, I need your input on something. Oneof my friends moms freaked out on her when she found out that her daughter had a facebook and twitter account. she thinks that it's going to corrupt her daughter and that she is doing(whatever you come up with) and my friend can't figure out for the life in her how to explain to her mom that she is keeping in contact with old friends, etc. etc.

your mom appears to be well versed in both these online activities, hopefully she will chime in and after chatting back and forth maybe relate it to your situation with your mom about how just because you don't understand something, it's not bad.

I thankfully do not have that much resistance from my family or they have got use to it over the many years keeping them, that and my 3 year old daughter LOVES reptiles and grandma can't get mad at her so....

I wish you all the luck, even with a distant family relationship... it hurts when there is a feeling of disapproval, worse when you are in the right.

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Originally Posted by Izzys Keeper

It seems theres too many shows on tv diagnose collectors with phsycological problems. How is it any different than ranchers that raise cattle or horses and sell for money. I could understand if you had 27 cats in cages up to the cieling but i think the problem lies in your moms misunderstanding of what "owning snakes" really is.

When i tell people that i own 10 snakes they envision a house full of dirty tanks and cages . In reality its a corner of my bedroom with a asthetically acceptable rack. It doesnt take much money owning them. Maybe a visit or even a webcam walkthrough if your house will clear things up a bit

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I was about to say the exact same thing! Tell your mom to stop watching animal hoarders or it will drive her nuts! There is a HUGE difference between having 22 cats/dogs and 22 reptiles. I'm curious as to whether she knows what your setup is. You mentioned she saw pictures on your Facebook page, but did she get an accurate portrayal of what it's like living with them? She might have an image of you buried alive in piles of trash and reptiles lol. Not that I'm trying to justify her actions. But I agree with what many others have posted, let her come around and make the first contact, then go from there. Then if she's willing to talk reptiles, explain your living situation/ show pics to get her to understand what it's like. I'd recommend including pics of your cutest babies :) Good luck with everything, and so sorry to hear about your family issues.

I actually talked to my mom on the phone yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. We completely avoided talking about my snakes, which I am fine with.

We talked about what she did for her birthday, and the young lady who she purchased a laptop for. It really did make me feel better when she explained the situation to me. She even said that my cousin (her niece) was concerned that that post on facebook was meant to cause trouble between her and I. She assured me she was just trying to pay it forward and do something good for someone less fortunate now that they don't have the extra burden of paying for my tuition. It really was a nice story now that it was put into context. This young girl comes from a very small town, sheltered life style, and abusive step father. :( She has a good work ethic and is really trying to break free from her previous life. When my mom went to best buy to purchase the laptop + supplies, she talked to the manager and they were willing to give her a nice discount on the merchandise. Then when she went to UPS to ship the computer, she once again explained the situation and they shipped it for her half price. I'm actually kinda proud of my mom for working so hard to do something good for this underprivileged girl.

I'm hoping that the waters have cleared for now. I do enjoy talking to my mom, just not when she is trying to instigate a fight :P If she ever does want to talk to me about my reptiles, I have promised myself that I will keep calm, stand my ground, and agree to disagree if it comes to it.

What a sigh of relief I gave after that conversation was over!

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

I actually talked to my mom on the phone yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. We completely avoided talking about my snakes, which I am fine with.

We talked about what she did for her birthday, and the young lady who she purchased a laptop for. It really did make me feel better when she explained the situation to me. She even said that my cousin (her niece) was concerned that that post on facebook was meant to cause trouble between her and I. She assured me she was just trying to pay it forward and do something good for someone less fortunate now that they don't have the extra burden of paying for my tuition. It really was a nice story now that it was put into context. This young girl comes from a very small town, sheltered life style, and abusive step father. :( She has a good work ethic and is really trying to break free from her previous life. When my mom went to best buy to purchase the laptop + supplies, she talked to the manager and they were willing to give her a nice discount on the merchandise. Then when she went to UPS to ship the computer, she once again explained the situation and they shipped it for her half price. I'm actually kinda proud of my mom for working so hard to do something good for this underprivileged girl.

I'm hoping that the waters have cleared for now. I do enjoy talking to my mom, just not when she is trying to instigate a fight :P If she ever does want to talk to me about my reptiles, I have promised myself that I will keep calm, stand my ground, and agree to disagree if it comes to it.

What a sigh of relief I gave after that conversation was over!

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It sounds like your mom has a very kind heart, I can't see her condemning you and your scaly friends for too long :) . Glad to hear you've spoken with her, and civilly too! It definitely looks like you two are on the right track. Keep a cool head, explain your points clearly and concisely and you'll be golden!

P.S. I think we should see some pics of the reptiles that have caused so many problems! Lol

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Originally Posted by Kaorte

I actually talked to my mom on the phone yesterday to wish her a happy birthday. We completely avoided talking about my snakes, which I am fine with.

We talked about what she did for her birthday, and the young lady who she purchased a laptop for. It really did make me feel better when she explained the situation to me. She even said that my cousin (her niece) was concerned that that post on facebook was meant to cause trouble between her and I. She assured me she was just trying to pay it forward and do something good for someone less fortunate now that they don't have the extra burden of paying for my tuition. It really was a nice story now that it was put into context. This young girl comes from a very small town, sheltered life style, and abusive step father. :( She has a good work ethic and is really trying to break free from her previous life. When my mom went to best buy to purchase the laptop + supplies, she talked to the manager and they were willing to give her a nice discount on the merchandise. Then when she went to UPS to ship the computer, she once again explained the situation and they shipped it for her half price. I'm actually kinda proud of my mom for working so hard to do something good for this underprivileged girl.

I'm hoping that the waters have cleared for now. I do enjoy talking to my mom, just not when she is trying to instigate a fight :P If she ever does want to talk to me about my reptiles, I have promised myself that I will keep calm, stand my ground, and agree to disagree if it comes to it.

What a sigh of relief I gave after that conversation was over!

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Though your mom may never come to like your reptile hobby (and sounds like you are ok with that), I think there is hope in your future! I'm definitely no stranger to conflict in families, both from my personal experience and that with close friends. I don't know you or your mom, but based on those experiences of mine and my friends, really does sound like you have a chance. :)

For what its worth I would have sent almost an exact same email to my dad as well...Sorry your going through this...hope it works out in the end.

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Originally Posted by MootWorm

It sounds like your mom has a very kind heart, I can't see her condemning you and your scaly friends for too long :) . Glad to hear you've spoken with her, and civilly too! It definitely looks like you two are on the right track. Keep a cool head, explain your points clearly and concisely and you'll be golden!

P.S. I think we should see some pics of the reptiles that have caused so many problems! Lol

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Yeah, I think she will eventually come around and get curious. Hopefully she can start to form a positive view of my snakes.

Check out my facebook page! I usually throw random pictures up on there pretty regularly, and all my older pictures are there as well :) Since its winter, I've been taking less pictures due to lack of sunlight :(

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Originally Posted by sorraia

Though your mom may never come to like your reptile hobby (and sounds like you are ok with that), I think there is hope in your future! I'm definitely no stranger to conflict in families, both from my personal experience and that with close friends. I don't know you or your mom, but based on those experiences of mine and my friends, really does sound like you have a chance. :)

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Yeah I am totally okay with the fact that she may never really understand the answer to "why snakes?". I think everything will work out. Maybe my mom just needed a break from me :P

I just got the why snakes from my mother today after bringing the new girl home.. My response was u let me have one when I was 10 and y not.. They don't stink they don't make noise they are easy to care for and cheap to feed compared to a cat/dog..

She was speechless as it all made perfect sense to her.. Then went on to admit shes more afraid of having the snakes dinner get loose then having the snake itself get out..

Next thing u know shes holding her and taking pix to show her friends at work..

I really think that there's a big lack of understanding by a lot of ppl that haven't ever actually had the opportunity to realize how calm and sweet these creatures can be

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Originally Posted by BoostedMX3

I just got the why snakes from my mother today after bringing the new girl home.. My response was u let me have one when I was 10 and y not.. They don't stink they don't make noise they are easy to care for and cheap to feed compared to a cat/dog..

She was speechless as it all made perfect sense to her.. Then went on to admit shes more afraid of having the snakes dinner get loose then having the snake itself get out..

Next thing u know shes holding her and taking pix to show her friends at work..

I really think that there's a big lack of understanding by a lot of ppl that haven't ever actually had the opportunity to realize how calm and sweet these creatures can be

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Thats awesome! I wish my mom was that open.. She has had the opportunity to hold my snakes before, but surprisingly only my grandmother was brave enough to hold one! I was really happy that she was willing to :)

They really are misunderstood. Especially ball pythons. They are so sweet and gentle! I think some people just cant get around the cold blood and lack of legs :P

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Originally Posted by BoostedMX3

I just got the why snakes from my mother today after bringing the new girl home.. My response was u let me have one when I was 10 and y not.. They don't stink they don't make noise they are easy to care for and cheap to feed compared to a cat/dog..

She was speechless as it all made perfect sense to her.. Then went on to admit shes more afraid of having the snakes dinner get loose then having the snake itself get out..

Next thing u know shes holding her and taking pix to show her friends at work..

I really think that there's a big lack of understanding by a lot of ppl that haven't ever actually had the opportunity to realize how calm and sweet these creatures can be

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Thats awesome! I wish my mom was that open.. She has had the opportunity to hold my snakes before, but surprisingly only my grandmother was brave enough to hold one! I was really happy that she was willing to :)

They really are misunderstood. Especially ball pythons. They are so sweet and gentle! I think some people just cant get around the cold blood and lack of legs :P