Any childfree by choice?

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Originally Posted by Rob

Lol trust me your 19 you are not the same person you will be in just a few years.

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This is not always true. When I was 10 years old, I told everyone I didn't want kids, which they said, I was 10 and didn't know what I wanted yet. When I was 17 years old, I told everyone I didn't want kids, which they said I was 17 and my perspective will change in a few years. When I was 23, I told everyone I didn't want kids, which I was told that when my hormonal change occurred at 28, I would change my mind. When I was 28, I told everyone I didn't want kids, which they said wait til your sexual peak in your 30's. Now I am 32 and I still tell everyone I don't want kids and people do look at me strange for it and I don't care.

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Originally Posted by Deborah

I am 39 married I do not have any children and this is purely by choice.

I have worked with children for over 10 years and know I have made a difference in some of those children's life and to me that is enough, I would not feel more accomplished if I had children of my own and I do not feel any void in my life.

Not everyone wish to have children (nothing wrong with that) and in some cases not everyone should have children either ;), and you should certainly not have children because of peer pressure or because others try to make you feel inadequate.

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I completely agree. I am a teacher and I LOVE children and I LOVE making that difference, but I just don't picture myself having children. It just doesn't fit me or who I am. However, I did consider children in my late 20's because of peer pressure from my husband, in which case, caused problems because I gave false hope during this consideration. I still feel bad about it til this day unfortunately.

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Originally Posted by Redneck_Crow

When I was 12 I told my parents that I never wanted kids. Same thing in my twenties and thirties. I'm 56 now, and no kids. No regrets either.

We don't all want the same thing. Some folks are too dense to comprehend it.

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I don't regret not having children either. I am not 56 but I know I won't regret it at 56 either.

Star

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Originally Posted by lizlopez

I hate it when people try to make you like their kids. I have 2 kids and still dont like other peoples kids.

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:number1: This!!! 100%

To the OP and others who have made their own personal choices, kudos to you for doing what you want to do and exercising your right to free choice.

As long as the choices you make are your choices, anyone who says you're wrong is a moronic lemming marching to the cliff.

Rob, it is rather arrogant for you to say what anyone else feels about their kids or their pets. You are not them, are not in their heads and don't know what attachment they feel for their pets.

And it's completely false to say that just because you squeeze a child out of your own uterus that you automatically love it. There's plenty of folks out there that are living proof they did not and do not love their children.

There is no absolute rule about what a person does feel or should feel about kids(others or their own) or pets(others or their own). How can you possibly say that Person X doesn't love their cat just as absolutely as you love your child? That's just as insulting as if I said you couldn't possibly love your child like I loved my husband. I don't know how much you love your kid or don't love your kid. You haven't a clue about the depth of my feelings or the depth of anyone else's feelings about their pets or kids or potted plants. You can make a decent guess perhaps... based on what tiny amounts of information you might gain from reading a few typed words on a public forum... but that's not very much to base a righteous opinion on.

I've heard the "You'll feel differently when you have some kids of your own..." and it's BS. I'm not having my own kids so it's a moot point and I don't think I would magically suddenly gain a adoration for children by the act of breeding. In fact, if I were to get pregnant I would not keep the child. I'd give it to some person who has the desire for kids. Because I have NO desire to have a kid, a baby, a teen, offspring, children... whatever term, age or formality you'd like to use. EVEN if it squeezed out of my own body.

The "You'll feel differently when you have your own" argument annoys me. I tend to counter with "What if I don't? Then I've brought an unwanted life into the world." It tends to shut them up.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

The "You'll feel differently when you have your own" argument annoys me. I tend to counter with "What if I don't? Then I've brought an unwanted life into the world." It tends to shut them up.

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x2 That and "you'll change your mind when you hit puberty/frontal lobe develops/hormonal peak/old and dying with no grandkids." No one can possibly predict my future, it's rather irritating to have people tell you that you'll be wrong and sorry down the road.

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Originally Posted by Raptor

The "You'll feel differently when you have your own" argument annoys me. I tend to counter with "What if I don't? Then I've brought an unwanted life into the world." It tends to shut them up.

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No one said have kids then you'll see. I said once you do have kids. No one that doesn't want kids should, it's not the type of thing you want to get into half hearted.

Lol apparently a lot of you don't like kids. That's fine, if you don't want kids it's better that you don't. Everything else is all opinion. You guys say you love your animals as much as I love my kids. I say it's not possible. It's all opinion. Apparently it's a touchy subject to some of you. I'm not really getting hot and bothered by it, I could care less (Not in a mean way) so Sorry if my opinion touched home to some of you. I'll bow out of this one.

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Originally Posted by Rob

No one said have kids then you'll see. I said once you do have kids. No one that doesn't want kids should, it's not the type of thing you want to get into half hearted.

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If I was talking to you, I would have quoted you. I was making a general statement concerning something that people have told me.

Interesting thread. So here my 2 cents. Rob totaly argee there is no way in hell you can place the same value of a pet life compared that of a human being. I don't think people understand until they look into there new born babys eyes that they automatically become a part of you. There is nothing I would not do for my kid and I mean nothing. I've heard from the younger people saying they will never change there minds but as the saying goes "never say never". I was not the same person ant 19 that I am now. When I was that age there was no way in hell I should have had kids but when I got a little older and met my wife settled down and matured things changed for me. Now I am not saying they will for everybody and for those people I agree don't have kids. But all I have heard from most is the negative. People have said they stink there expensive there noisy there unrully etc.. lucky for you your parents did not feel the same way. The positive far out weighs the negative. As far as kids misbehaving its the parents faults kids are products of there environment bad parents bad kids . I have also heard that you can't discipline you kids they way you want to...BS you can. Beating the crap out of them no but you can spank the choice is up to the parent. If you don't believe me check with C P S. or local law enforcement. Just my opinions here. But for those who chose not to have kids good for you you should not bring kids into this world that won't revive 100% of you or your love and if people don't see that tell them to piss up a rope.

Truth is im afraid to have kids because i know my ball pythons will get out and eat them!!! Wut shood i do?

i am 31 and don't have kids, and kinda don't want them, and have never been pregnant. I kind of went through a phase where i maybe sorta felt my clock ticking, around 28 or so...and i was raised to want to have kids, but i've never been one of those who goes gaga over drooling babies. I LOVE my pets though.
i feel like i could be a mom, but on the other hand i'm really glad i don't have to be that selfless...and that right now i can have it all focus on me and my husband. he originally didn't want kids, and i've kind of grown to agree.

i get pretty snotty responses from people sometimes though like, telling me i will want kids, or i'm surely going to have them, and i'm weird if i don't want any...talk about judgmental.

but, i also think people who don't like animals are weird, so there ya go *lol*

I *think* my mother has been told enough times that her grandchildren will be provided by my younger brother to understand that I'm not having any. That said, I wonder if the fact that I just got married will spur her on to ask about it some more. Hopefully not, but if it does, it's no big deal to re-tell her that it's not happening. For the record, my brother and his wife have stated that they plan to have kids after they're both done with school and settled into their careers, so my mom really doesn't have to worry that she won't have any grandkids. No reason to badger me about it, given that, but we'll see, I guess...

This thread has been a wonderful read. I am so glad to know that there are others out there who feel the same way.

I'm going through these issues right now of pressure from a variety of sources, and while I'm standing my ground, it's so difficult.

Since I was younger, I had a negative impression towards having children. I just don't like kids. Naturally, I heard the same as you guys: "You'll change your mind when you're older." Well, it's taking a much nicer turn now. Those 'people' are now 'my SO's family'. Yep, I'm getting the family peer pressure. Moreso now that they have a grandson from Dan's sister and just love him to death.

But, there are so many reasons I hesitate about kids. Pregnancy doesn't scare me. It's everything else that does. Like, if I hate children, what if I don't bond to my kid like other people do? I am uncomfortable around children and babies because I have no idea what to do with them. I am uncomfortable with the idea of being stuck at home while my partner goes off to work and slowly going crazy, or losing who I am. I am scared that I won't like it, and that will ruin the wonderful relationship I have with my other half. That the comfortable life we have now will dwindle away to 'just getting by' due to costs. That we'll have to put aside our ambitions.

Everyone always says: "When you have your own kids, it's different. It's worth it." I'm scared that I'll still feel the same that I do now, or have regrets, or feel like I made a mistake... And everyone just keeps pressuring me on the subject, which makes it feel like this ticking clock. And nobody makes good decisions when under pressure. Yet, I can't keep putting it off forever.

So when people say they don't want kids, it's not always because they 'don't like kids.' Sometimes 'I don't like kids' is much more than that.

I still feel very uncomfortable with the topic, to the point I just want to tell them all: "I can't have kids, okay!" And then, if it happens later, it happens. But until then, they'd maybe leave me alone about it :weirdface

Tell anyone who's pressuring you into having children to either make their own, or go out and adopt. :mad:

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Originally Posted by Slim

Tell anyone who's pressuring you into having children to either make their own, or go out and adopt. :mad:

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:gj: It's reached that point a few times now. It's amazing how uncomfortable I feel because of what they're pushing. If it was more casual, I'd probably be more open to the idea. But the fact it comes up all the time is like: "Enough already. I get it. You want grandchildren. How about a dog instead? Lets start with that and see how it goes."

Thats the only people I can see hounding you for kids is parents, due to them wanting grand kids. But at the end of the day it's your choice and they should understand that.

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Originally Posted by Rob

Thats the only people I can see hounding you for kids is parents, due to them wanting grand kids. But at the end of the day it's your choice and they should understand that.

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It's true. I've been bugged a few times by friends with children, but they aren't nearly as assertive about it.

One of my biggest hesitations is I'm a very private person. The idea of pregnancy doesn't bother me. But after seeing the way people 'deal' with pregnant friends or family members... Like: "Ohhh when I was in labor I was in pain for 36 hours. It was terrible!" And proceed to tell them all the bad things that happened. Or ask me personal questions all the time, or get involved... Not sure how I'd handle that. I'd want to have a home birth, and that has already caused a heated discussion with the family when I brought that up :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Vasiliki

"Enough already. I get it. You want grandchildren. How about a dog instead?

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Some people just can't appreciate Grand Geckos...

I'm 37 with no kids and I hope to make it the rest of my life with none!

I'm 27 and am waiting on my appointment to have my tubes cut.

I don't want kids, neither does my gal.

To me, they're like most dogs I see. I love them, I love to play with them, I just don't want to have to take one home.

I'm only 13, but I don't like the concept of even dating, let alone sexual intercourse. Kids are annoying, I know I'm still a kid myself and I know that I'm very annoying. We're expensive, we've got bad attitudes, and we always smart off. If I do end up with someone who wants to have kids, I'll simply just apologize and say that I don't want kids, and if they can't except that fact, then goodbye! The last "serious" relationship I was in, didn't end well, I wanted to be her friend, and she doesn't want that, so there goes that. I am scared to do it ever again, another reason I don't want kids is if we were to separate, it would devastate the children.

Animals >> kids

I haven't changed my mind EVER.