Military with children?

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Originally Posted by tcutting

I always seem to be the one to play devils advocate and take a contradictory perspective which sometimes my not always paint a clear image of what my full opinion is.

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I feel the same exact way. Sometimes i do it just to get people thinking, not necesarily bc thats what i believe. I dont think this is always a bad thing. :)

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Originally Posted by Mike41793

I feel the same exact way. Sometimes i do it just to get people thinking, not necesarily bc thats what i believe. I dont think this is always a bad thing. :)

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I agree just like to make people think, and sometimes ask the about the 800 gorilla in the room.

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Originally Posted by Gomojoe

Go air force and you'll drastically lower the likelihood of deployment and decrease the duration if you do deploy, plus you will be more desirable to employers once you get out.

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That's a pretty bold statement and a matter of opinion and frankly one that I don't believe is true at all. If you are successful in the military you will be desirable no matter what branch you are from. Mostly in the Air Force, they cater more towards the Officers and you get much better leadership skills in the Army of Marines. Air Force does 6 months deployed and Army is now gonna start to do 9 months. I know because I've had Soldiers go from Air Force to Army for that very reason.

LGray, you really can't go wrong going in the military. I did 20 years and don't regret one second of it. I retired when I was 38 in 2006 and am now working as a civilian for the Department of the Army. Granted the reserves are different because you can retire but your retirement comes later. Yes it gets hard being away from your kids but if you know they are in good hands while you are gone it makes it a little bit easier. I personally believe everyone should do one term in the service just to get that life experience. The Army does in fact have a two year contract but your job opportunities are limited. The military is what you make it.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Sorry I haven't been on lately, I've had a lot of personal issues going on. Basically I would like people's opinions and advice on being in the military WITH children involved.

Every since middle school, my original plan was to join the military after high school...until I got pregnant at 17. Obviously, that changed everything. Since my divorce, I've been in one semi-serious relationship, and one very serious relationship that has crashed and burned. I've lived on my own with my son, and I am SO grateful for my job, but I just barely get by. I can't go to college more than one class at a time because I can't turn down over time for school, I can't take online classes because they are so expensive, and I feel like I am stuck.

My son is 5 years old. My parents are willing to take over custody for ANY reason (basic, job training, deployment). He also has his father, as much as I dislike him, he would take him in the event of a long deployment. I feel like the Army Reserves or National Guard would really benefit us for the long run. I mean, they will pay for my school, I could afford online classes AND work full time, PLUS get paid for my work done with the Army. It's only one weekend a month and 2-4 weeks in the summer (when he's at his dad's house anyways). Less people are being deployed right now, but I know I can't bank on not getting deployed. I guess I'm looking for a little guidance. I NEED to do something more with my life. I don't have any crazy skills that will get me far, I don't have a college degree to fall back on. I really want the achievement and the experience. The veteran status could help me for life.

The only thing stopping me right now is my son. I'm scared that I'm being selfish by leaving him. I really feel like this will help us later on. I want to give him the best life he can possibly have, and I'm doing okay now, but I'm capable of so much more I just haven't had the opportunity. I feel like this is an opportunity just waiting to happen, the only problem is I have to sacrifice 6 months minimum + possibly 15 months (for deployment) with my son. Are the long term benefits really worth that? Please help lol.

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Leah,

I'm not going to read any of the other responses before I respond. What I bolded - you are NOT being selfish. You are carefully considering what will be BEST for you AND your son in the long run. I think that makes you an amazing Mom - no matter what you eventually decide to do! :hug:

As for the child aspect - my boyfriend grew up with his dad gone a LOT with the Navy. To this day, at age 51, he fondly remembers his experiences as a military brat. And he's so incredibly proud of his father. Though he never joined the military himself, he proudly wears clothes (t-shirts, sweat suits) emblazoned with "Navy" on them.

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Originally Posted by Slim

Growing up as a military brat was great for me. I'm outgoing, make friends easily, and get bored being in the same place for long...that's why it worked for me.

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You sound like you are describing Karl to a "T". He loved the moving and to this day, doesn't know a stranger.

I do not have children, and have never been in the military. With that said, I say go for it. You must do what is best for you family, and going earning a degree would be a big step in the right direction. If the military is what will help you earn your degree, then go for it.

I thought about going into the military myself before I started college, but I decided against it. I did go to online school, and earned my Bachelor's degree. It was very expensive, but I believe it will pay off in the end.

Sorry to hear about the relationship.

I don't have a lot to add since I really don't have family or any close friends that are in the military, but I think anyone that does it deserves a lot of respect. Few people have the guts to do, I for one would never be able to do it. As for being selfish, I don't think it's selfish at all. Your son will definitely miss you very much while you are away, but he will be very proud of you.

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Originally Posted by RetiredJedi

That's a pretty bold statement and a matter of opinion and frankly one that I don't believe is true at all. If you are successful in the military you will be desirable no matter what branch you are from. Mostly in the Air Force, they cater more towards the Officers and you get much better leadership skills in the Army of Marines. Air Force does 6 months deployed and Army is now gonna start to do 9 months. I know because I've had Soldiers go from Air Force to Army for that very reason.

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Personally I think it's more important to be careful in choosing your MOS or "rate" as we called it in the Coast Guard...that will determine how employable you are once you're out...more than what branch you served in...

Popeye says join the Coast Guard!

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe3.jpg

These pics were taken off the North Atlantic coast in early November of '91...it was a heck of a storm...some said it was "Perfect"... :O

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe5.jpg

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe4.jpg

Just wanted to update everyone. After talking extensively with the army reserves recruiter, the air force reserves recruiter, and my family, I've decided that the air force reserves would be best for my family and I. I took the ASVAB test on Wednesday and got some high scores. I've switched my paperwork from the army to the air force, and my physical is on Thursday. Once I get cleared medically and physically, I will be getting sworn in and picking a job. I want to thank everyone for all their advice and opinions.

Luckily I've found some friends close by that are willing to take on most of my critters while I am away. I am still having trouble finding someone to watch my red foot tortoise and my boas, so if any of my buddies on here are relatively close, let me know! My female boa is small and fits comfortably in a tub, however my male is over 4 1/2 feet now and has just been switched to a 4 foot boaphile...thank you again!

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Just wanted to update everyone. After talking extensively with the army reserves recruiter, the air force reserves recruiter, and my family, I've decided that the air force reserves would be best for my family and I. I took the ASVAB test on Wednesday and got some high scores. I've switched my paperwork from the army to the air force, and my physical is on Thursday. Once I get cleared medically and physically, I will be getting sworn in and picking a job. I want to thank everyone for all their advice and opinions.

Luckily I've found some friends close by that are willing to take on most of my critters while I am away. I am still having trouble finding someone to watch my red foot tortoise and my boas, so if any of my buddies on here are relatively close, let me know! My female boa is small and fits comfortably in a tub, however my male is over 4 1/2 feet now and has just been switched to a 4 foot boaphile...thank you again!

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Glad to hear you were able to come to a desicion on everything. Im sure everything will turn out well for you and your son. Keeping in mind that your doing it for him will help you get through anything. Good luck with everything and please keep us updated! Im right down in CT, so if you need anything at all, dont hesitate to PM me!

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Originally Posted by mike41793

im right down in ct, so if you need anything at all, dont hesitate to pm me!

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x2

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Just wanted to update everyone. After talking extensively with the army reserves recruiter, the air force reserves recruiter, and my family, I've decided that the air force reserves would be best for my family and I. I took the ASVAB test on Wednesday and got some high scores. I've switched my paperwork from the army to the air force, and my physical is on Thursday. Once I get cleared medically and physically, I will be getting sworn in and picking a job. I want to thank everyone for all their advice and opinions.

Luckily I've found some friends close by that are willing to take on most of my critters while I am away. I am still having trouble finding someone to watch my red foot tortoise and my boas, so if any of my buddies on here are relatively close, let me know! My female boa is small and fits comfortably in a tub, however my male is over 4 1/2 feet now and has just been switched to a 4 foot boaphile...thank you again!

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Congrats on picking the second best branch to join! :P j/k

Seriously...congrats. It's not gonna be easy, but it will be rewarding...and it appears you have the heart and determination to be successful. I'm retired CG but work with a lot of former AF folks and you're going to be in exceptional company. :salute:

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Originally Posted by LGray23

I've decided that the air force reserves would be best for my family and I.

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YES!!! :gj:

You get a great job and the USAF gets a great Airman!
Looks like a win - win to me!!! :salute:

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Originally Posted by Gomojoe

Go air force and you'll drastically lower the likelihood of deployment and decrease the duration if you do deploy, plus you will be more desirable to employers once you get out.

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x2 to that. This is not in any way a knock on any of the branches, other than the puddle jumping Coasties, lmao! No, I'm kidding! Back to the topic: the Air Force is by far the best paid and most "cush" of the all the branches, generally speaking. Also they are the most technologically advanced in terms of computers, satellite communications, etc. It's absolutely a sacrifice but one I'd say is absolutely worth making. Good choice and to be the corny cheeseball I am, congratulations and good for you! Pulling for you and hope it works out well.

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Originally Posted by youbeyouibei

../Back to the topic: the Air Force is by far the best paid...

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Not true either. An E5 in the military gets the same base pay in any branch but the Air Force promotion is a lot slower than the rest. I would also say that technology is the same too.


LGray, one thing you can see is everyone has a loyalty to their own banch and that should tell you that no matter what you made a great choice for yourself. I don't think you'll regret one minute of it. Take advantage of any schooling you may be offered too. Remember, it is what you make of it and I think you'll to far. Keep us posted, I can't wait to read about your career progression.

One thing I could see happening is you eventually going active duty (unless you already said that and I missed it in another post. In that case nevermind ... 8-) )

I passed my medical/physical today. I qualified for service :D

Once my blood results come in (which won't be an issue) I will meet with my recruiter again to pick my job, then I'll be sworn in. Thank you everyone for your support :)

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Originally Posted by LGray23

I passed my medical/physical today. I qualified for service :D

Once my blood results come in (which won't be an issue) I will meet with my recruiter again to pick my job, then I'll be sworn in. Thank you everyone for your support :)

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Sounds Awesome!!! Can't wait to find out what your AFSC will be :gj:

[Best of Luck and may we all look after you.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

I passed my medical/physical today. I qualified for service :D

Once my blood results come in (which won't be an issue) I will meet with my recruiter again to pick my job, then I'll be sworn in. Thank you everyone for your support :)

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Really happy for you! And thank you for your future service :salute:.

I picked Air Transportation. The school dates haven't been released yet, but I'll most likely be going the end of June/beginning of July.

If the military wanted you to have kids, they'd issue them to you in boot camp! :D JUST JOKING, couldn't resist the old joke - and yes, I've served in the US Navy. I also knew some single parents who were deployed. It wasn't easy, but they were able to work it out. With your supportive parents, it could help make it easier for you. With today's technology, like Skype you can do what we couldn't do way back in the old days.

It sounds to me like the OP wants to give it a go. I say, go for it. And, Slim - thanks for your service! It is appreciated, even if some folks don't get it.

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Originally Posted by sho220

Popeye says join the Coast Guard!

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe3.jpg

These pics were taken off the North Atlantic coast in early November of '91...it was a heck of a storm...some said it was "Perfect"... :O

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe5.jpg

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe4.jpg

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Puddle jumpers! :neener: Ever been in the Sea of Japan during one of their bad storms? Taking 40 degree rolls for days on end made a lot of old salts sea sick. Luckily, I never got sick.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

I picked Air Transportation. The school dates haven't been released yet, but I'll most likely be going the end of June/beginning of July.

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That's a good choice! I've worked with the MATS guys in the past. That's an excellent community!! Always got me where I needed to be, on time and on target!

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Originally Posted by Don

And, Slim - thanks for your service! It is appreciated, even if some folks don't get it.

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And thank you for your service, Sir! Even if it was the Navy :D

Honestly I have great respect for my Navy brothers and sisters...that's a big ass ocean you guys work on, and it scares the crap outta' me!

Don't forget to stop by the PX and grab a big can of motivation before boot camp. You can find it right next the heart, and determination. And if the military wanted you to have a opinion they would have issued one to you............get ready for all the military sayings, there's a million of them. Also I hope you love acronyms!

Best of luck to you!

(Former active duty ARMY)

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Originally Posted by shadera

(former active duty army)

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x 2......95b

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Originally Posted by Rob

x 2......95b

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:rofl: Mop Pusher here as well. :D (Though I think they've given it a different number these days) I went through McClellan, and it breaks my heart to see that place now.

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Originally Posted by Slim

And thank you for your service, Sir! Even if it was the Navy :D

Honestly I have great respect for my Navy brothers and sisters...that's a big ass ocean you guys work on, and it scares the crap outta' me!

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Slim, I really don't consider myself a veteran. I served in a peace time Navy and was deployed on a ship that did diplomatic cruises. I was in only three years. It was not hard duty nor during a period of unrest or war. I have much more respect for those who served a full career or during periods of war. My father was retired Army. He served in Vietnam and received the Bronze Star and Purple Heart. I can not consider myself anywhere near the vet (or man) that he was.

You served a full a career. My hat is off to you. It is not an easy life for a career. It can be fun and a learning exercise for a young single person, such as I was.

I see real vets coming home from the wars going on and can never put my service in the same class. My time on the big gray ships was a pleasure cruise compared to that.

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Originally Posted by Don

Slim, I really don't consider myself a veteran. I served in a peace time Navy and was deployed on a ship that did diplomatic cruises. I was in only three years. It was not hard duty nor during a period of unrest or war. I have much more respect for those who served a full career or during periods of war. My father was retired Army. He served in Vietnam and received the Bronze Star and Purple Heart. I can not consider myself anywhere near the vet (or man) that he was.

You served a full a career. My hat is off to you. It is not an easy life for a career. It can be fun and a learning exercise for a young single person, such as I was.

I see real vets coming home from the wars going on and can never put my service in the same class. My time on the big gray ships was a pleasure cruise compared to that.

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Whether you serve during a time of peace or war does not make a difference to me. You offered your service and time to protect our country. I see where youre coming from by saying that what your father had to go through was more rigorous than what you had to do but that doesnt take away from the fact that you still served your country. I have mucho respect for any veteran, no matter how long you were in for or what branch you served for. When it comes down to it you ALL keep America safe.

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Originally Posted by Don

I see real vets coming home from the wars going on and can never put my service in the same class

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just because you didn't go to war like some of us doesn't make you not a veteran. We just get to wear that sweet combat patch! :)

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Originally Posted by LGray23

Just wanted to update everyone. After talking extensively with the army reserves recruiter, the air force reserves recruiter, and my family, I've decided that the air force reserves would be best for my family and I. I took the ASVAB test on Wednesday and got some high scores. I've switched my paperwork from the army to the air force, and my physical is on Thursday. Once I get cleared medically and physically, I will be getting sworn in and picking a job. I want to thank everyone for all their advice and opinions.

Luckily I've found some friends close by that are willing to take on most of my critters while I am away. I am still having trouble finding someone to watch my red foot tortoise and my boas, so if any of my buddies on here are relatively close, let me know! My female boa is small and fits comfortably in a tub, however my male is over 4 1/2 feet now and has just been switched to a 4 foot boaphile...thank you again!

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You made a wise choice. As an Army veteran, I can tell you that the Air Force is a better place to be for several reasons, from more pleasant duty, better food and housing, better chance of picking up a job skill useful in civilian life to shorter and less risky deployment.
There is a real chance these days that a reservist will end up deployed on active duty and you would be much more likely to come back in one piece with your head on straight if you spend your time on an Air Base.
In prosperous times I would not recommend for a mother to join the military, but it is a viable choice in this economy and an honorable choice always.
As far as being a poor choice for someone with a family to join the military as one poster stated, I would point out that in this Country no more than 50% of marriages remain intact on the average. I doubt that the rate of divorce is any higher in the military than in the civilian population.
It has more to do with the maturity, integrity and commitment of the people entering a marriage than the physical location.
As you are not married and are just becoming a reservist, this is a moot point anyway, although you may ultimately decide to go full time after getting a job, some rank and considering the benefits as contrasted with the present lack of opportunity in the job market today.

Best of luck to you. :salute:

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Originally Posted by Don

I see real vets coming home from the wars going on and can never put my service in the same class. My time on the big gray ships was a pleasure cruise compared to that.

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Don,

Every Veteran, past and present, at one point in their life raised their hand and said they would serve this nation at a cost up to and including their life.

Time of peace or time of war was largely a matter of chance. The defense of this nation forms an unbroken chain that stretches back to the founding of our country. Don't down play your personal link in that chain.

The time you served was just as important as anyones :salute:

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Originally Posted by Don

Puddle jumpers! :neener: Ever been in the Sea of Japan during one of their bad storms? Taking 40 degree rolls for days on end made a lot of old salts sea sick. Luckily, I never got sick.

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Never been to the Sea of Japan, but we were taking rolls like that for several days before things calmed down. I fondly remember at one point leaning out over the bridge wing puking my guts out and I swear I could almost reach out and touch the water...shortly after those pics were taken, a hawse pipe cover let loose and went flying right by the bridge. :O I was on a 270' cutter...which have a nice ROUND bottom...made for a great ride...:rolleye2:

Here's one more from my last patrol...got hit by a rogue wave off Cape Hatteras. Right before this trip I had the chance to repaint Popeye on the BRAND NEW gun mount. Sadly it didn't make it through it's first patrol, and I don't believe it was ever re-painted on the new gun mount they got. I was off to Radioman school by then. :D

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...hotos/spe6.jpg

I got sworn into the Air Force Reserve today, I leave October 2nd :)
http://i43.tinypic.com/dm8aix.jpg
http://i41.tinypic.com/11c9xs5.jpg

From one Airman to another, Congrats, and welcome to the family :salute:

Congrats!

I wanted to give everyone an update!! I leave in exactly 49 days for basic training. October 2nd I will arrive at Ft. Lackland Texas. I'll be graduatig (assuming I don't get recycled, it will NOT happen) on November 30. My parents, along with my son, my brother, and little sister will be attending my graduation. I must say I can't wait for my son to see me on that stage in my blues. He's only 5 years old and he already tells me he's proud of me! Plus he can't wait to go to Texas, where Sandy is from (from Spongebob :rolleyes:). I'll have two and 1/2 days to spend with my family before heading out to Ft. Lee Virginia for my tech school (Air Transportation 2T2X1). I'll finish tech school January 30.

Now, The AFR started a program back in October 2011. Reservists attend what's called the Developmental & Training Flight. It's basically to help prepare us for basic training. I have been going up to my home base one weekend a month to attend this (it's mandatory anyways lol). I've already met some awesome people and have made friends through the military, even met a couple people that are shipping out on the same day!

Every Saturday that we're up there we are given a PT test. I want to say 3 months ago, my scores were 13:30 for the 1.5 mile run, 20 push ups, 18 sit ups. Last month my PT scores were 12:20 for the 1.5 mile run, 33 push ups, and 27 sit ups. I've been training like crazy. I want to say I've gained 5 pounds since I started but my clothes are looser, so I'm assuming (HOPING) it's all muscle. Usually the only PT we do on Saturday is the PT test, the rest is a lot of classroom time. Sundays though, WOW. I got my bum handed to me last weekend on Saturday AND Sunday as the Conference Center where the "classroom time" is held was being used to prepare for the Air Show. We basically did circuit training ALL DAY. It was awesome! I absolutely love going up there, and can't wait to start my career with the Air Force Reserve.

I wanted to thank everyone again for their support! I'm really happy with my decision so far. I'll be sure to update as I go along when I can, hopefully with some pictures next time :D

Cool, I've got friends at Ft. Lee. It is just down the road from me. Good luck!

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Originally Posted by LGray23

I wanted to give everyone an update!! I leave in exactly 49 days for basic training. October 2nd I will arrive at Ft. Lackland Texas. I'll be graduatig (assuming I don't get recycled, it will NOT happen) on November 30.

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Yay! I'm so excited for you!! My hubby is currently stationed at Lackland, and I would LOVE to make it over there for your graduation! I know you'll spend all the tiny amount of free time you'll get with your family, but it will be an honor just to sit in the back and watch!

:salute:

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Originally Posted by JLC

Yay! I'm so excited for you!! My hubby is currently stationed at Lackland, and I would LOVE to make it over there for your graduation! I know you'll spend all the tiny amount of free time you'll get with your family, but it will be an honor just to sit in the back and watch!

:salute:

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That would be awesome if you could make it! I will be with my family but if you came I'd really love to see you if possible, to thank you for helping with my decision in person :D

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Originally Posted by LGray23

That would be awesome if you could make it! I will be with my family but if you came I'd really love to see you if possible, to thank you for helping with my decision in person :D

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I'm sure we can squeeze in a handshake and a hug! ;)

I'll PM you my personal contact info so we can stay connected and you can keep me in the loop about your grad schedule.

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Originally Posted by LGray23

October 2nd I will arrive at Ft. Lackland Texas.

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First word of advice, don't call it Ft. Lackland when you get there....unless you really want the extra personal attention from your Training Instructor, :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Congrats, you're going to do just fine!

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Originally Posted by Slim

First word of advice, don't call it Ft. Lackland when you get there....unless you really want the extra personal attention from your Training Instructor, :rofl::rofl::rofl:

Congrats, you're going to do just fine!

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I won't be calling it anything, I won't speak unless spoken at and will be flying under the radar as much as it's humanly possible unless I'm excelling haha. Lackland AFB, whatever :rofl: :gj: