horrible.....

Yawn.......

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mr.spooky

Yawn.......

---

Please do not be rude Im thankful for their help if you HAVE to be rude dont comment and waste your time on it everyone here has helped quite alot. I dont have a family to lean on so this is what I have. They helped make a choice that may turn out wonderful in the end.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mr.spooky

Yawn.......

---

Really?

Your mom must be so proud.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

Please do not be rude Im thankful for their help if you HAVE to be rude dont comment and waste your time on it everyone here has helped quite alot. I dont have a family to lean on so this is what I have. They helped make a choice that may turn out wonderful in the end.

---

and if your choice turns out terrible, are you gonna hate these people for making you break up with the guy?
when i read your first post,,, i thought to myself, "that guys is an idiot making her decide that",,,, and i still feel like hees an idiot,,, BUt ,,, its your decision,,, just as its your decision to talk to him when he calls,,, just like it will be your decision to take him back.. best of luck to you,,, but ill be willing to bet that you have already answered that call,,, and youve already met with him "just to talk". i still think hees an idiot, and the reason that i said yawn was because this thread has lasted for 5 pages.
but heres some words of encouragenent.... if you are willing to give up things that you love now,,, youll be willing to do it the rest of your life... dont let it start now!
spooky

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wilomn

Really?

Your mom must be so proud.

---

as a matter of fact,, she is.,,,, but whats that got to do with anything?
spooky

pick both!! get him to like the snakes lol (or buy him a dog)


mine looooves my snakes now :) he didnt so much at first. but we started going to expos and such.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mr.spooky

and if your choice turns out terrible, are you gonna hate these people for making you break up with the guy?
when i read your first post,,, i thought to myself, "that guys is an idiot making her decide that",,,, and i still feel like hees an idiot,,, BUt ,,, its your decision,,, just as its your decision to talk to him when he calls,,, just like it will be your decision to take him back.. best of luck to you,,, but ill be willing to bet that you have already answered that call,,, and youve already met with him "just to talk". i still think hees an idiot, and the reason that i said yawn was because this thread has lasted for 5 pages.
but heres some words of encouragenent.... if you are willing to give up things that you love now,,, youll be willing to do it the rest of your life... dont let it start now!
spooky

---

Hopefully you mean this in jest but I'm not sure you capable of that.

Judging you pretty much from the few posts you've made in this thread I'd say you're the kind of guy who makes all of us who actually are good guys have to work so hard just to be nice.

If you mother is proud of you then her I feel sorry for her too. You seem a lot like a scumbag. I do hope you're not, but you're sure coming off as one.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mr.spooky

and if your choice turns out terrible, are you gonna hate these people for making you break up with the guy?
when i read your first post,,, i thought to myself, "that guys is an idiot making her decide that",,,, and i still feel like hees an idiot,,, BUt ,,, its your decision,,, just as its your decision to talk to him when he calls,,, just like it will be your decision to take him back.. best of luck to you,,, but ill be willing to bet that you have already answered that call,,, and youve already met with him "just to talk". i still think hees an idiot, and the reason that i said yawn was because this thread has lasted for 5 pages.
but heres some words of encouragenent.... if you are willing to give up things that you love now,,, youll be willing to do it the rest of your life... dont let it start now!
spooky

---

I havent been able to see him or talk to him its tearing my heart out no I will deffinately not hate anyone on here unless they give me reason though I wish he would call Im not sure what to say I wont call him and it will only be harder meeting up with him to just talk Ill end up breaking down even more than I am right now even days later...and he does love snakes he just doesnt see the point in having so many he absolutely loves my het albino male thats the only snake he wanted me to keep and even wanted to give me money just so he can call it his....Im sorry everyone but I might stay off my own thread for awhile.......I cant keep talking about him my eyes burn

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wilomn

Hopefully you mean this in jest but I'm not sure you capable of that.

Judging you pretty much from the few posts you've made in this thread I'd say you're the kind of guy who makes all of us who actually are good guys have to work so hard just to be nice.

If you mother is proud of you then her I feel sorry for her too. You seem a lot like a scumbag. I do hope you're not, but you're sure coming off as one.

---

where to start?????????
ok, first, if your gonna judge some body by the few post that they have made, then ill try to do the same.
Judging by your first parograph, id say if you have to work so hard to be a nice guy,,
then truly, your probabally not a nice guy, thats why you need to work so hard at it.
judging from your second paragraph, LOL your talking about my mom??? REALLY??? that is what we use to do as children at school. i can see now why you need to work so hard to be a good guy, women usually dont like messing with children, women (i think) like men whos honest, and doesent need to "try to be a good guy" ,, or to be something that there not. AS far as i can tell from the post i made that got you so upset,,,,i was being honest.
im not even gonna coment on the scumbag thing.

if somebodys gonna come on an open forum, and talk about their persional life,, then they should be ready to hear both sides of the coin. i dont sugar coat stuff big man, so dont expect me to apoligise to you.
thats all i need to say, ill stay away from this thread now.
spooky

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mr.spooky

...that is what we use to do as children at school. i can see now why you need to work so hard to be a good guy, women usually dont like messing with children, women (i think) like men whos honest, and doesent need to "try to be a good guy" ,, or to be something that there not.

---

I like Wilomn =)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anatopism

I like Wilomn =)

---

Obviously a woman of fine and discerning taste.

Thank you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

I havent been able to see him or talk to him its tearing my heart out no I will deffinately not hate anyone on here unless they give me reason though I wish he would call Im not sure what to say I wont call him and it will only be harder meeting up with him to just talk Ill end up breaking down even more than I am right now even days later...and he does love snakes he just doesnt see the point in having so many he absolutely loves my het albino male thats the only snake he wanted me to keep and even wanted to give me money just so he can call it his....Im sorry everyone but I might stay off my own thread for awhile.......I cant keep talking about him my eyes burn

---

Sorry honey but you are making excuses for him again now. You keep changing your story.

Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Anatopism

I like Wilomn =)

---

Trying to figure out how to clone him ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by wilomn

you're the kind of guy who makes all of us who actually are good guys have to work so hard just to be nice.

---

You actually consider yourself a good guy? I'm shocked that you haven't been banned. I guess they're more tolerant here than on Fauna.

I'm glad you made the right choice.

I was in a not-very-great relationship, but I think I just got too comfortable/used to it to leave. was scared to break up with him because he was my whole life and I was scared to be alone. I guess I loved him, a lot, too. We kept on having problems but I convinced myself that it would all get better and yadda yadda yadda. Guess what: It didn't!

Eventually when I moved to University, he dumped me (within the same week I moved - so frosh week) for some other chick that he met at a party apparently 2 weeks previously. I was so devastated, 2 1/2 years thrown away because he wanted easy - well, you know..!?

Needless to say she turned out to be a crazy, and they broke up, and a couple months after (unintentionally) I found a guy who has lit up my world!

What I'm trying to say is, you're devastated now, but someone else who isn't controlling and abusive will come into your life, and you'll be able to see how different and amazing relationships can actually be. It might be tomorrow, or it might be in a year, but it'll happen.

Good luck!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JohnNJ

You actually consider yourself a good guy? I'm shocked that you haven't been banned. I guess they're more tolerant here than on Fauna.

---

You're not much on research, are ya? Actually, you're not much of much at all when you come right down to it.

Eh.

I think you'll find banning Wes isn't terribly likely to happen. Lol. It's been my experience that those who dislike Wes also tend to have that same distaste for blunt honesty.

Not so much blunt honesty. You will find lots of other people here that are brutally honest and don't sugar coat their replies.

I don't like personal attacks that add nothing to the discussion. I don't like the use of intimidation in a discussion.

YMMV

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by JohnNJ

You actually consider yourself a good guy? I'm shocked that you haven't been banned. I guess they're more tolerant here than on Fauna.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Amon Ra Reptiles

I think you'll find banning Wes isn't terribly likely to happen.

---

Before someone goes any further making more assumptions, here are the facts of this forum.

We don't play favorites, people are not kept around because we like them or banned because we dislike them, people's participation is welcome here as long as they follow the rules, and that goes for EVERYONE.

People cant' follow rules and break them, they get infractions http://ball-pythons.net/forums/annou....php?f=89&a=15 (and Wes is no stranger to that), people accumulate 100 points and they get a month vacation, they accumulate 150 and they get a permanant vacation ;)...........it's that simple.

Now back to your regular programming................that is if some of you can :rolleyes:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Deborah

people are not banned because we dislike them

---

I can vouch for that! :D

I want him so bad...he was never abusive just jealousy made him attempt to control me I know its an excuse for him but all of us are guilty for sticking up for the ones we trully love...I dont want anyone but him and I cant do that you guys dont know the whole story....Ive been through so much with him he saved me from depression and thats literally the truth...I had to be on anti depressants half my life and a few months after being with him the doctor told me I dont need them....he was my first real relationship (lasting more than 2 months) we have been together even we he was over 1000 miles away. He was the first to take me to a dance well every dance throughout high school, the first to buy me flowers, jewelry, chocolates, stuffed animals. The first my real family ever approved of. He was the inspiration of many of my paintings all over my walls. Hes the first guy to ever tell me he loved me. The first to ever take me on a date, to the movies, out to eat at nice expensive resturants, the first I ever lived with, the first to ever still be with me on my birthday, the first I ever loved. I cant do this I know I cant go back to him but I cant just sit here and ignore his calls all morning and afternoon, I have to call him back....Ill let everyone know how that goes....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

he was my first real relationship (lasting more than 2 months) we have been together even we he was over 1000 miles away. He was the first to take me to a dance well every dance throughout high school, the first to buy me flowers, jewelry, chocolates, stuffed animals. The first my real family ever approved of. He was the inspiration of many of my paintings all over my walls. Hes the first guy to ever tell me he loved me. The first to ever take me on a date, to the movies, out to eat at nice expensive resturants, the first I ever lived with, the first to ever still be with me on my birthday, the first I ever loved.

---

And he won't be your last...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

i understand what all of you are saying but I also see where my boyfriend is coming from hes always complaining I never hang out with just him its always me him and a snake and everytime I talk to him its about snakes so I feel bad the only reason I ever got into snakes is for a bumble bee ball python I thought it be cool to produce one myself but I dont have to I dont really want to risk a 3 year relationship just on something so little that I wanted to do for a fun project on the side. And Im not allowed more than 2 snakes where Im moving the landlord said no so either way they have to go either way but for now Im telling him its just for him but in reality its in order to live where I want its close to both of our jobs its a great neighborhood it comes furnished and completely redone and another plus.....NO where NEAR my family :D

---

I'm not gonna read all 8 pages of this drama...but from this post it seems the snakes are more of an obsession than hobby. If it's always you, him and a snake...or all you ever talk about are snakes, I can see where he's coming from. Relationships are about compromises. I love keeping and breeding bp's, but my wife comes first...by a long shot...and she knows this. If I was your boyfriend and I was playing second fiddle to a bunch of snakes, I'd be outta there...

We all have firsts. They don't loose importance most of the time. But, once is all you get for a first.

No one is trying to force you to do anything. There are people here, particularly the women who have posted in this thread who have BEEN you when they were having THEIR firsts.

LISTEN to them. If you take him back you take him back. If he does it again, he does it again. You simply have to deal with it. Not us.

You however, are your own worst enemy. We are all our own worst enemies. Telling ourselves we can't do this, live without that, have to make exceptions for something else, don't deserve for whatever reason, can't do any better, don't want to do any better, or worst of all, can't because we/you OWE someone something that happiness would infringe upon.

Let us know how it goes.

Personally, I just don't cotton to ultimatums. Never have. You either have to be willing to not be who you want to be to live under them or be the kind of person who gives them, whom I generally find to be weak and lacking in the stuff that makes men men and women women. Real men and women I mean, not boys and girls. You're barely a woman and have had a crappy life so far and this ONE bit of good is hard to let go of even if it is starting to turn a bit dark. It IS just one bit though. There will be many others if you allow them in. Talk to some of the women who have offered to help you. Take the help that was offered. There's no shame in that and quite possibly the support you need to do what you know is right.

Capitulating to ultimatums sort of puts up a shield that will keep your happiness from finding you. In my opinion.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Wh00h0069

Boyfriends come and go.

---

But the snakes will always be there, lol. When she needs someone to talk to. When she needs a shoulder to cry on. When she needs some encouragement or advise.

I've got news for some of you folks...your snakes don't care about you. Not even a tiny little bit. I know some people will find that just too hard to believe, but it's true...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sho220

But the snakes will always be there, lol. When she needs someone to talk to. When she needs a shoulder to cry on. When she needs some encouragement or advise.

I've got news for some of you folks...your snakes don't care about you. Not even a tiny little bit. I know some people will find that just too hard to believe, but it's true...

---

...... This guy is CONTROLLING and JEALOUS. Those are two of the RED FLAGS that someone should look out for when they're in a relationship.

Controlling behaviour may be just jealousy and controlling a couple things (like pets) right now, but it WILL escalate. Not might, WILL.

So, so so so so so many abusive relationships start off with controlling and jealous significant others.

It always escalates. You think abusive relationships just happen at the snap of a finger? No, the abuser has to gain trust and love of the partner, and then he will start controlling his/her friends, what they look like, etc, and will do anything to isolate the victim from his or her family. That is when the abuse (physical) starts, because the victim has no one to turn to.

In my mind, the OP's boyfriend can quite possibly become abusive. He has some of the red flags already.


If she needs someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or some advice there are FRIENDS. There are even hot lines that you can call and talk to someone anonymously and the person on the other end has no bias.
You can't just stay with someone just because they can be a person to cry to, yadda yadda.

Rant over.

Girl, everything in your post screams codependency. I went through it with MY first too, and a couple others. You think you need them, and no one else can match up.

Do what you like, and this is not really about snakes anymore, but I don't think you were in a healthy relationship.

You need learning experiences, you can't just settle down for the guy that made you learn a lot about yourself just because he did. You don't want to have to deal with the problems he has against you.

And if this is really a matter of you being obsessed with snakes and never stopping about it, it may drive him crazy, but there are nicer ways of him telling you that then telling you its him or the snakes.

I dunno, but if I were you, I'd deal with the heartache (that will take time to heal but it will go away) and move on. Most people do not stick with the first person they meet.

I am my fiance's first but I'm older and know more about what a healthy relationship is, and let me tell you ... he got darn lucky. That almost never happens. But he is stubborn and didn't want to date just any girl, so that's on him.

Probably 98% of people do not stay with their first. And probably 85% of people learn CRAZY amounts of things about theirselves during their first real relationship.

You'll be fine ... with or without him. Just remember that. You don't NEED him to stay off antidepressants, that is YOU, not him. YOU! YOU did it. He helped you, but you did it.

Take a deep breath and just think about things for a while before you jump back into it.

I didnt get ahold of him but I could get ahold of his brother and right now my ex is currently in a hospital after crashing his car on his way to my house.....I kept ignoring his calls so he finally told his brother he was just gonna come talk to me...hes still unconscious it was about an hour ago.....Im about to go up there to check on him

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

I want him so bad...he was never abusive just jealousy made him attempt to control me I know its an excuse for him but all of us are guilty for sticking up for the ones we trully love...I dont want anyone but him and I cant do that you guys dont know the whole story....Ive been through so much with him he saved me from depression and thats literally the truth...I had to be on anti depressants half my life and a few months after being with him the doctor told me I dont need them....he was my first real relationship (lasting more than 2 months) we have been together even we he was over 1000 miles away. He was the first to take me to a dance well every dance throughout high school, the first to buy me flowers, jewelry, chocolates, stuffed animals. The first my real family ever approved of. He was the inspiration of many of my paintings all over my walls. Hes the first guy to ever tell me he loved me. The first to ever take me on a date, to the movies, out to eat at nice expensive resturants, the first I ever lived with, the first to ever still be with me on my birthday, the first I ever loved. I cant do this I know I cant go back to him but I cant just sit here and ignore his calls all morning and afternoon, I have to call him back....Ill let everyone know how that goes....

---

first doesn't mean the best OR the right one.

That is too bad, but remember, just because he is hurt doesn't mean he is right for you. Try to remain neutral.

OK,,,,, had to come back...... im SURE THAT THIS IS TRUE LOVE,,,,,, but its getting to thepointofTROLLINGyall:petting:.............................
spooky

Something stinks around here...

alright so he was awake when I got there he broke his radius/ulna and fractured a rib they said the shock just made him pass out I was there for about 10 minutes yet again started crying he wont be able to leave till they fix him up he has his mother and sister there so Im not needed right now...anyway Im going to go talk to him in the morning when no one else is there Im kind of better now that I saw him and he said he still loves me but hes just tired haha

I'm kind of bugged that i just read through 8 pages only to see your most recent post basically implying that you're going back to him. :confused::confused::confused:

Best of luck.:gj:

:colbert:

Did he just crash his car, into a pole or into a tree or something?

Man, I may get flamed for saying this but is there ANY chance that he he did it on purpose?? And made sure not to hit anything too severely (so to not kill himself, of course). This way, he could MAKE SURE that you would see him, and that you would have a greater chance of taking him back??
This could be WAY, WAY off but it is a possibility and something does stink around here.

Smells a bit fishy?

I just read all 9 pages and I can relate to your situation. I believe it's possible you can make your relationship work but you need to make sure he doesn't control your life.

My first real relationship lasted almost 5 years and I kept making excuses for him too. It eventually reached the point where my family no longer liked him and he was basically controlling everything. It's taken me a long time to get over that relationship (close to 2 years), but I am a much better person for it. Life goes on after first loves, sometimes the first one isn't always the best one.

I'm sorry to hear that he crashed his car and is hurt, but that's not a good reason to get back together with him. If you do decided to get back together with him you need to make sure it's a healthy relationship. There is a huge difference between an ultimatum and a compromise. DON'T let him control you. You need to have your own hobbies and your own life before you can be in a healthy relationship.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kinra

I'm sorry to hear that he crashed his car and is hurt, but that's not a good reason to get back together with him. If you do decided to get back together with him you need to make sure it's a healthy relationship. There is a huge difference between an ultimatum and a compromise. DON'T let him control you. You need to have your own hobbies and your own life before you can be in a healthy relationship.

---

Exactly. Having your own life and interests is very important in any relationships, he needs to support your hobbies and you need to support his, even if they are not the same! If you can make it work, great, but don't go back because of guilt. Also we don't know each other but if you need someone to rant at or just listen you can message me. I am up late most nights.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CatandDiallo

:colbert:

Did he just crash his car, into a pole or into a tree or something?

Man, I may get flamed for saying this but is there ANY chance that he he did it on purpose?? And made sure not to hit anything too severely (so to not kill himself, of course). This way, he could MAKE SURE that you would see him, and that you would have a greater chance of taking him back??
This could be WAY, WAY off but it is a possibility and something does stink around here.

Smells a bit fishy?

---

Seems like too much for a simple coincidence...

Im not sure but he kind of asked me to leave till they patch him up so I dont really think he did it on purpose, he crashed is car sliding sideways (driver seat) into a foot thick concrete slab where there used to be a welcome to galesburg sign...lol his sister was joking with him saying it was almost a welcome to heaven sign luckily he was only going 30 and the side air bags went off Im going to talk about it in the morning figure things out figure out what is wrong with his attitude/jealousy whatever you want to call it.

:banana::banana::banana: i called it!!!!:banana::banana::banana:

Wow......Im absolutely terrified to post right now but I have to....Lacey baby you know I trully wont make you get rid of your snakes.....I love some of your snakes I just really REALLY hate having to listen to you tell me everything about them. Everytime you learn something new you come straight to me to tell me babe I already know you like to research more and more but there is a limit. You got tired of me talking about the video games and my friends. You know how it feels so please just understand me. I have done alot for you and if I trully wanted you to get rid of the snakes do you honestly believe that I would have gone out and bought you some a few times? PLEASE when it comes to us and our romantic evenings please just leave the animals away for the night? I dont want to lose you and Im glad to see you still love me just please forgive me I wasnt trying to get you to sell them off I just wanted you to see that your pushing me away.......Lacey I love you.

:pee:blahahahahaha :pee: i just peed myself:8: i thought you were laid up with broken bones, contusions, and a ruptured spleen.
its confermed,,, yall were ment for each other.:rofl:
spooky

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by spied

Wow......Im absolutely terrified to post right now but I have to....Lacey baby you know I trully wont make you get rid of your snakes.....I love some of your snakes I just really REALLY hate having to listen to you tell me everything about them. Everytime you learn something new you come straight to me to tell me babe I already know you like to research more and more but there is a limit. You got tired of me talking about the video games and my friends. You know how it feels so please just understand me. I have done alot for you and if I trully wanted you to get rid of the snakes do you honestly believe that I would have gone out and bought you some a few times? PLEASE when it comes to us and our romantic evenings please just leave the animals away for the night? I dont want to lose you and Im glad to see you still love me just please forgive me I wasnt trying to get you to sell them off I just wanted you to see that your pushing me away.......Lacey I love you.

---

Why havent you called me and told me that or texted me? But yet you can sit there and take time on your sisters phone to type all this out?? It would have been quicker to text me atleast......or waited till in the morning......go back to sleep for now

Wow I'm so done with this.

You're a lost cause.

remember this????? http://ball-pythons.net/forums/showt...?156904-New-me

LOL i had to........... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soDZBW-1P04

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by python_addict

Why havent you called me and told me that or texted me? But yet you can sit there and take time on your sisters phone to type all this out?? It would have been quicker to text me atleast......or waited till in the morning......go back to sleep for now

---

Dont get mad really Im not trying to piss you off. Your phone is off if you pay attention to it.....and no I dont have a ruptured spleen dipstick no one has ever said that. Who are you to judge if we belong together?! Lacey turn your phone on and answer my calls for once. I wont sleep till you talk to me alone. Dont pay attention to everyones comments on here just think for yourself?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by spied

Lacey turn your phone on and answer my calls for once. I wont sleep till you talk to me alone. Dont pay attention to everyones comments on here just think for yourself?

---

.....
.....
.....
.....

Jerry, jerry ,jerry!!!!!!!!!

Ok Im seriously now done with this thread. DJ stay off it my phone is on I have been texting a friend your calls didnt come through...maybe because your in the hospital??? Im not sure but it could be the low signal wouldnt you think? DJ dont piss people off on here too please? Ill talk to you in the morning like I said I would just go to sleep you need it and also they are only trying to help but this thread really has gone on long enough.....thanks everyone