Identity Freud?? Can anyone help?

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Originally Posted by mainbutter

I have to disagree. Then again, none of my family members are jerks.

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None of mine are either - well, not THAT bad. But, my husband was kicked out of his house when he was 18... on New Years Day. My husband was being a teen-age jerk and that it killed his parents to have to do it, but it was the only way for him to learn. Which, I was very grateful for because then my husband shaped up (can't afford drugs and an apartment at the same time), so he was a very upstanding young man when I met him at age 20. And I love his parents very very much. And so does he.

This is a family matter that I think is best worked out privately before running to the authorities. That could leave scars that won't ever heal. Perhaps this young woman could find a third party to act as a mediator between herself and her parents. They could meet in a neutral place with this person and discuss what needs done to make them all comfortable.

Quite honestly this is a 20 year old adult. It sounds like she needs to leave the nest and establish her own home where she can make her own rules. If she can afford a car, credit cards and so forth there's no reason she shouldn't be able to manage a nice, small apartment of her own. There seems a really strange thing going on with this generation that they want to stay home with mommy and daddy but still want to be an independent adult. That just generally never works out very well.

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

This is a family matter that I think is best worked out privately before running to the authorities.

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There are three sides to every story.

Once the legal system gets involved the decisions may be taken out of the hands of both parties. Best to work it out privately, if possible.

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Originally Posted by JohnNJ

There are three sides to every story.

Once the legal system gets involved the decisions may be taken out of the hands of both parties. Best to work it out privately, if possible.

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Exactly. If trying to resolve this privately doesn't work, then no harm done really but once you call in the police or the lawyers it gets very hard to reverse any decisions you've made. I think an attempt at mediation first is probably the best course of action (and this young lady setting up her own residence seperate from her parents).

Hi,

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Originally Posted by chetman7

I have met her parents and they are pretty crazy/strict. Her mom makes her squeegee the shower doors after she takes a shower.

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Annoying possibly but hardly terrible - my dad still makes me do that when I go home to visit as water spots on the glass get on his nerves. :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

Quite honestly this is a 20 year old adult. It sounds like she needs to leave the nest and establish her own home where she can make her own rules. If she can afford a car, credit cards and so forth there's no reason she shouldn't be able to manage a nice, small apartment of her own.

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Indeed it's not like she is too Jung to survive on her own or anything. Sorry couldn't help myself. :oops:

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Originally Posted by frankykeno

This is a family matter that I think is best worked out privately before running to the authorities.

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Originally Posted by JohnNJ

Once the legal system gets involved the decisions may be taken out of the hands of both parties. Best to work it out privately, if possible.

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This is very true - aside from the emotional and familial fall out your parents credit rating is usually linked to your own in the credit companies database and having them convicted of identity theft and similar offenses could ruin the credit rating of everyone involved for a very, very long time.

I would say that the legal/ criminal justice system should be the very last thing tried.


dr del

It depends on the state, but if she is 20, the car and insurance and credit card are all in her name without anything affliated with her parents, then yes it's illegil.
However, if she is refuseing to follow the rules of the house, no matter what YOU think of them, then they have every right to boot her out. It's THEIR house, and THEIR rules. It's not like they threw a child out on the street.
If she has the ability to pay for a car, credit card payments, insurance etc.. let her get her own place to live. Her parents have every right to take away any privledge that they pay for. I don't have a lot of sympathy for the "they kicked her out", since no one I know at 20 doesn't have someone they can go bum a couch off of. Obviously she has, since she is staying with you.
She should be able to call the credit card company and let them know it was not her, and they will re-instate her card, with a security feature to make sure no one can cancel it that isn't her. (security question). If she has the spare key to the car, and removes it, then she's clear there. If the parents report it stolen, then she can easily tell the police, "Here's the title in my name, the insurance in my name, and the registration in my name. They filed a false report". If the parents don't call it in stolen, then all they did was take the key, which is petty, but not enough to bother with authorites. Since the parents did not USE the credit card, it's not identity theft, per se. It's again.. petty.
If any of it is in their names... at all, co-signing, using their insurance, etc.. they were within their rights.
Good luck with your friend. She should get her own place, and stop trying to live with mom and dad, if she wants to have her own rules.

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Originally Posted by dr del

Indeed it's not like she is too Jung to survive on her own or anything. Sorry couldn't help myself. :oops:

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:rofl: I'm glad *someone* said it!

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Originally Posted by cshouston

:rofl: I'm glad *someone* said it!

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Came looking for Freudian or Jungian references, left satisfied.:)

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Originally Posted by dr del

Indeed it's not like she is too Jung to survive on her own or anything. Sorry couldn't help myself. :oops:



dr del

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I can't believe it took this long! :D