I need some real serious help/advice, and to vent too i guess

mike, i was referring to the "they have to want to" to make it work :P

Doing drugs leads to two conclusions......jail or death.

I have lost friends to drugs because of extended jail time and death. ......I never had any luck trying to help them, but that does not keep me from trying. Sure they would 'kick it' for a short time after a stint in rehab or jail....but they always go back. I would never tell someone not to try to help a friend and sometimes things do have 'success' stories.....but from those experiences I would like to offer one bit of advice for you......Sometimes nothing can be done, so do not make it your fault because you can not help no matter how hard you try.

I recently had a very good friend locked up. He stopped doing drugs....but could not quit selling them. Arrested while his child was with him because he had drugs in the car.....he will never see his kid again. Maybe the loss of his child and 8 years in jail will make him realize what he is doing....maybe it won't. That is up to him....and him alone.

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Originally Posted by recycling goddess

mike, i was referring to the "they have to want to" to make it work :P

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They do have to want to.

Many people even after seeing what their life has become would still rather be drug users.
Those people don't want to change.

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Originally Posted by daniel1983

Sure they would 'kick it' for a short time after a stint in rehab or jail....but they always go back. I would never tell someone not to try to help a friend and sometimes things do have 'success' stories.....but from those experiences I would like to offer one bit of advice for you......Sometimes nothing can be done, so do not make it your fault because you can not help no matter how hard you try.

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agreed

To be honest with you guys Randy and I are both recovering drug users. He was a addict. I only started using after I met him.

For awhile it was great until it started hurting our relationship. At that point I told him he needed to quit or I was going to leave him because I couldn't deal with the way he acted.
Lucky for us he didn't want to loose me so he quit.
We've been clean for almost 2 years now. He was his own supplier so once he got rid of the drugs he didn't have the option of getting anymore. Had he been able to I know for a fact he would be using again.

It isn't an easy thing to do. It took months and months of dealing with someone who was in withdrawl. Even though we've been clean for what seems like a long time we both still think about the drug all the time.

I think the only way quitting can be successful is if the person decides there is something more important then drugs and they are not able to access the drug when they have set backs. That's why so many people start using again. They can call someone up and get more.

It's important to remember that there are far more powerful forces at work than simple will power. Drugs like heroin and cocaine are EXTREMELY addictive. No one wants to be a drug addict. When you're high, your brain is chemically altered and your thought processes are dysfunctional. The only time she'll be able to make a sound decision is when she's clean.

The ONLY way your sister will get better is with professional help. Get her into rehab ASAP. She may relapse. Get her back into rehab. Repeat. The longer she continues to use without intervention, the more addicted she will become (i.e. her tolerance will increase until she can no longer afford to pay for the drugs with her day job...). Not only that, remove her the best you can from the environment where she uses drugs, "friends" and all. Those environmental cues (neighborhood, people, shooting gallery, paraphernalia) can prompt heroin use.

This is a difficult situation, I know. I wish you and your sister the best of luck.

"We've been clean for almost 2 years now."


:hug::grouphug::hug: You Go GURL! :sunny:

haha thanks

I wasn't sure if I wanted to admit to it or not on here but I don't really have anything to hide so why not..

well i can speak on this i have used meth, and it is very hard drug to kick!! only that person can stop themself from using. that is how i see it. but keep family around. and when family is around, try not to make them cornered, even if you dont think you are, she will put up a defense fast! The one thing that is good is she came to you for help! which i didnt, and learned the hard way. hope it helps a little...

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Originally Posted by white

well i can speak on this i have used meth, and it is very hard drug to kick!!

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that's what we used as well

Jenn, first off there are no words good enough to commend you and your boyfriend for not only kicking an addiction to meth but for you being brave enough and kind enough to share it here to help another. This is truly the most wonderful step of your healing...to reach out in wisdom and speak honestly to help another. You rock hon!

Mike (Vomitore) again there are just no words to express my sadness and anger that your parents chose addiction before their committment to you and to being good parents. You are a better person than those that created you, never forget that, never stop being proud of that and in the end know that you are okay and what they did and still do can only touch the parts of you that you allow it to. You can't fix them Mike but by deciding to stay apart from their mess, you are caring for yourself in the best way possible. You rock too!

As far as the original question in this post. If it were my friend the first thing I would do is seek permission to take her to the morgue to view a dead drug addict. She needs in a sober state to see her future. To see the stark and ugly reality of exactly where she'll end up. Naked and dead, on a slab in a cold morgue with nothing but a hole in the ground as her future. I believe in shock as a darned good wake up call. Then I would tell her that as much as I love her and always will the next time she is high and out of control I will either seek involuntary committment for her or refuse to deal with her at all.

It is her choice in the end hon. You cannot let her use you because she always will use you and your love for her, this is what addicts do. She needs to understand that loving doesn't mean standing there helplessly watching her commit a slow form of suicide and that this is killing you too. In the end you may have to make a very hard choice to either have her taken into custody while high and dangerous to herself and others or simply walk away and refuse to see her or speak to her unless she is sober. It sounds like all the talking in the world won't do much good anymore and it's time for a bit of tough love.

Be prepared yourself though that bad stuff may happen and I'd really suggest you contact a support group for family and friends of addicts in your area. They can be a wonderful support for you and help you see where you might be enabling her and how to care for yourself in the midst of this awful situation.