I just need to talk...

Lynn, like so many have said just hang in there honey. You will have good days and you will have days that are the absolute pits. It may not be the death of a spouse but it's the death of the dreams you had with him so accept that it's okay to feel, just don't let the feelings overwhelm you. If you can say to yourself "okay right now I feel rotten so what can I do for me?" it will help.

Try to treat yourself as you would a dear friend going through this. Find your ways to cope that are unique to you...sometimes that might be sitting in a bubblebath having a darn good cry...doing volunteer work...getting mad and punching a body pillow....picking up the phone and venting with a friend....going out and having fun because you deserve to be happy no matter what....whatever it takes to allow the feelings to be expressed and dealt with.

As far as being his friend...maybe down the road hon but right now for both of you the feelings are so raw that it's nearly impossible to seperate what is from what was. I think expecting friendship right now from him will only set you up for more hurt and disappointment. Also men are so much different than us females. We need closure and connection, men need space and time (generalization but usually the case). The way you need to be emotionally isn't likely the way he needs to be and neither of you is wrong honey, it's the way of the world and men and women and it's not likely to change anytime soon IMHO.

You should have my phone number but if you don't let me know Lynn. I've been down the rocky road of divorce and I know how tough it is. Don't hesitate to pick up the phone and call any of us that have offered numbers. It's not weak or a burden to ask for support.....for me it's always a deep feeling of honor to be trusted to give someone emotional support. (Oh and I know some man bashin' joke that will crack you up girlfriend, after 10 years working in the family violence arena...ya learn some real rude ones LOL). :grouphug: