So I have been doing some thinking..... Suggestions?

"If I could design my perfect woman" is pretty off-putting. It's like saying you're going to hold up a ruler to every person you meet and reject anyone who doesn't measure up. Doesn't sound like fun.

In "about me" don't talk about yourself with adjectives, as in "I'm intelligent". Talk about your interests, what you like to do, what you like to read and talk about. Maybe say something about what you do for a living and why you like it or don't like it or why it is/isn't an important part of who you are. Talk about where you have traveled, or where you would like to and why. If you do art or play music, talk about what kinds of things you do and enjoy. What instrument do you play? What style? What do you do for fun?

I met my partner online fifteen years ago. What distinguished the ad I answered from all the ones I didn't is that most of them were practically identical lists of favorite TV shows and "I like to chill and hang out". Nothing that tells me why the person who wrote it is more interesting to have dinner with than a potted plant. The ad I answered talked about bike touring and other fun things and gave me a sense of the real person who wrote it.

Sorry I'm just now circling back - I agree with a lot of the feedback being given. It's self-absorbed because you're talking about what you want from someone else when you should be talking about yourself. Build yourself up! Give some self love! What are the qualities you like about yourself? What are the qualities you need to work on? Open yourself up to the possibility that perfect may not be exactly what you have pictured in your head. By pigeon-holing the woman you're looking for, you're pigeon-holing yourself and your own possibilities.


An example:
Once upon a time, this would've been my perfect man:

He would enjoy reading and appreciate quiet moments like looking at the stars
He would be intelligent and enjoy scientific interests
He would be a tidy individual and keep a clean space
He would be organized, including with his finances, and would know how to save and when to spend
He would enjoy being outdoors, hiking, running, swimming, etc
He would always follow the rules and the laws and stay inside the lines


A lot of the above characteristics I like because they're also mine. My life would've been steady and un-exciting. BORING.

I married this man:

He hates to read, prefers to have music blaring with two TVs on at the same time, watching two different programs
He's super smart, but about engines and football and music and whatever he puts his mind to
He is NOT tidy
He is not organized, is constantly losing his wallet and his watch and his favorite shirt, has three junk drawers, and spends money like we grow it out back
He hates being outdoors, prefering to be lazy on the couch watching GoT or playing video games (though he does lift weights every day, which I do not enjoy as an activity)
Any rules are voluntary, laws are flexible, and lines are really more of a guide


The man drives me insane. We are two completely different souls, we have two completely different outlooks on life. And I found that I NEEDED that. I have a tendency to get far too deep into details, and I get too wrapped up in keeping things neat and tidy and perfect. I needed his chaos, for him to tell me when to chill out on the couch, to leave the laundry for later, or throw finances to the wind for a night and live a little. And he makes me laugh.

Don't restrict yourself to perfection. Perfection is boring. Real is way more fun.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Sorril

I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

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lol i think he should keep all of it. Mr. Sky is just being himself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Skyrivers

Does any of it need reworded or eliminated?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Lord Sorril

I would eliminate all of it: It is written in a Basic, Self-absorbed, and Hostile tone.

I'm sure as a Creative, Intelligent, Positive person that you can do better.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ax01

lol i think he should keep all of it. Mr. Sky is just being himself.

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...or change it up. use the 1 drink rule in your profile. like if u meet someone at a bar, what would u want them to know about u over 1 drink? fun, interesting, honest, flirty. not too much, not too little.

;)

Kill the list... kill it with fire. :rofl:

As others have said, having a list of expectations is kinda demanding for someone who is in no place to make demands at all. Instead, tell people about what you like to do... about who you are. If you meet someone who isn't "Your perfect woman" you may be pleasantly surprised.

And btw, even IF you have all the same exact interests, there's a strong chance that you'll either have a different "take" on them, OR be competitive about them. ;)

How boring to partner up with someone whose interests are all the same...interests that complement each other or don't interfere with your own or at least that you
can tolerate, live with, that's reality, and a more interesting life. When you learn from each other's differences, you each become more than you were to start with.

Resumes rarely work in relationships. I've been married for 20+ years and he bestows few of the attributes I'd put on a wish list. And I am far from what he would have described as his ideal mate back in the day. And yet, he is my best friend and we are both better humans for being in each other's lives. My heart has been broken by "my type" far more times than I care to count.

Just talk about who you are and let the chips fall where they may. You may just get someone beyond your imagination.

I would just summarize it up to say 'no junkies, thieves, or idiots'. Then just let the chips land where they will. IMO you will never find that 'perfect' one and you really shouldnt strive for it. Everyone has their faults and quirks which makes them unique. As long as you two mesh regardless of likes and dislikes, go for it. Things change in life so what you two might disagree on now, you might both agree on later in life.

Ok, so here goes try number 2.


I love all animals. I have 2 dogs, 7 snakes and do reptile shows with them. Love being creative and building things. I am very active. Love being out in nature and hiking, kayaking, and camping. I enjoy good, open, and honest communication. I put love first and want to be appreciated and loved. I am far from perfect and know you will not be as well. Just want to hold your hand as we walk life's adventures together. Walk with me?

Better?

Better.