(Major Newbie) Help, I need advice

I know it sounds like I don't have things thought out and I'm being sort of impulsive and I'm really sorry about sounding like a stubborn brat but I do have a plan and do not intend to keep the snake in hiding forever. I wouldn't be planning to get a snake if I knew that my parents were going to make me rehouse it.

Let me give you some background and my reasoning for hiding the snake and what I plan on doing.

So ever since I was 4 I had a fascination with all animals big and small, my life dream at the ages between 4-15 years was to be a vet But that changed and now I want to study biology. I would bring home injured and/or lost animals to my house unannounced so we could surrender these animals to a shelter. My parents are well accustomed to unexpected guests in the house so the shock factor of having a pet snake won't be too bad. There will definitely be disappointment and some anger but I've honestly done much worse than hiding this enclosure..let's just say my highschool years were troubling.. But I know my parents and they won't make me rehouse a snake once they see how much I care about it and how interesting they are. And if push comes to shove I know 2 snake owners who would take wonderful care of the snake.

Now I know snakes are a big commitment, 20-30 years? It's a commitment that last longer than most marriages(no shade lol). And I'm fully up for it, I'd love to see how the snake changes and developes over time. And just to have a friend that won't be able to judge my character is a nice thought. I'll be able to support the snake on my own very soon, I was recently called in for an interview at a pizza shop. So income for necessities will be no issue. I do not plan on hiding the snake for as long as I can, I will confront my parents (preferably at a family party while drunk, it's easier that way with Hispanic parents) and tell them that this is something I put a lot of time and thought into, and I know it's unfair that I lied to them but it's also unfair that a snake can't be kept here just because my mom doesn't like them and won't give any other reason why.
I'm planning on going to a community college that's 45 minutes to an hour away from here. So I will be staying home and I've mentioned I know a couple snake keepers that could care for it when I transfer to a UC.. I know my family's dynamic and my mom seems very set on me not having a snake until I move out.

The reason I'm so adamant about keeping the snake in secrecy for a while is because it will be a good chunk of time before I move out. I'm 18 and live and California, it is crazy expensive to even rent an apartment here. I have 2 friends and I won't be able to rent an apartment with either of them because my friend is leaving to LA (8 hrs away) and my boyfriend plans on moving in with his group of friends.

I will take your guy's advice though and try to convince my parents and wait a bit longer, considering I still need a lot of supplies anyway. I like Avsha531's advice, my parents are much more intrigued when I educate them on animals, I think it will really help them see that this isnt just some snake but a practice for a future major in college.
I hope you guys understand and as usual thank you for input and advice :) :bow:

Kiddo (and I'm not being condescending, I'm old enough to be your mom...'s best friend ;)) there are just so many red flags in your statements above, if i listed them all I'd basically be rewriting your whole statement.

You are just starting out in life. Just starting a job, just starting college, just turned legal age for stuff...why don't you slow it down a bit and get yourself in order. It's not a question of "being fair" to you. Nowhere does it say a parent's job is unequivocal fairness. Their house, their rules. Period. They don't have to be fair.

I think you show great wisdom by heeding Avsha's advice on including your parents in the decision, because ultimately they have the right to make the call one way or the other. You would show great foolishness to blow them off and do what you want to do.

There is no downside to patience. But many when you act impulsively.

Hm, me talking about fairness sounded really immature because they're my parents not my sibling or friend. I just wanted to prove that I can do stuff on my own and that I don't need to "babied" as much, but the rule of "My house, my rules" still stands I guess.

But for the time being can you guys give advice on how to convince someone who's anti-snake to at least be okay with one being kept in a room? And continue to help me with heating and humidity just incase I get a yes? You guys also don't have to worry about me buying a snake anytime soon because I'm really broke and can barely afford a UTH and thermostat. Let alone a $25-$30 ceramic bulb and $16 for a heatlamp with a dimmer and a possible other thermostat for the ceramic bulb? The question didn't get answered because I got bombarded with scolding ;-;

Point is I'm broke and have a long ways to go and want my parents approval around the time of completing the tub

Look at it less like scolding and more like a good healthy dose of reality and tough love. We ultimately have you and your future pet's best interests at heart.

What my oldest did to convince me to get a snake is TONS of research, a power point presentation, months of extra chores around the house (she's a minor, so she doesn't have external income coming in - she basically earned credit by carrying more than her fair share in household duties) and involving me in all her learnings. She was 110% committed and backed it up by making it a personal project that spanned half a year.

That said, after the new wore off, the snake basically became my responsibility. That is mostly my fault however because I became obsessed with them once we got one and I sort of took over. But at least I let him live in her room. I'm not a monster. ;)

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Originally Posted by LittleMadSnek

Hm, me talking about fairness sounded really immature because they're my parents not my sibling or friend. I just wanted to prove that I can do stuff on my own and that I don't need to "babied" as much, but the rule of "My house, my rules" still stands I guess.

But for the time being can you guys give advice on how to convince someone who's anti-snake to at least be okay with one being kept in a room? And continue to help me with heating and humidity just incase I get a yes? You guys also don't have to worry about me buying a snake anytime soon because I'm really broke and can barely afford a UTH and thermostat. Let alone a $25-$30 ceramic bulb and $16 for a heatlamp with a dimmer and a possible other thermostat for the ceramic bulb? The question didn't get answered because I got bombarded with scolding ;-;

Point is I'm broke and have a long ways to go and want my parents approval around the time of completing the tub

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hi friend! i own snakes in a home that's not entirely well-receptive to them but we make due.

i moved back home after i changed jobs, and i had already had my first ball python. but i have 7 snakes now and am independent, and i take care of my home as my parents aren't normally home. i clean, buy groceries, and tend the pool and garden. i don't do this for fun.

the thing is: you have no weight to sling here. you're broke, don't provide any monetary support to the home and likely don't support anyone else in the home. you have no right to sneak something in without giving back to your home. period. you don't get to force an "independent" decision on a house you provide nothing towards. that's purely selfish and, again, unfair.

it's not us being harsh, it's reality. if you can't accept the stakes of what can happen if this goes wrong, and would rather throw a tantrum, then the long-term decision of owning a 20yr+ commitment pet when there are obstacles to it may not be best for you.

we're very happy to have you, but to force this into a home you don't support is just not fair.

I’m with everyone on waiting until you move out. That’s the smartest thing you can do right now.

But to answer your questions,

Avsha531 already mentioned reptile show expos, and I honestly think that would be the best place to take them if you have any near by. That would be a good opportunity to talk to breeders and handle some snakes, and possibly even your parents! I find non-snake people don’t even realize like actually like snakes, they just haven’t found the right one :p ball pythons especially have that special charm about them haha.

As for heating, YES you’d need a thermostat for a ceramic bulb. So if you use a ceramic bulb and UTH you’d need either two thermostats or a thermostat with two outlets.

As for humidity, if you’re having problems with it in a tub set up, it kinda defeats the purpose of a tub set up. It might be worth considering a do over and using your current as a test. Maybe less ventilation next time. What does the humidity become when you put a bowl of water in it? You could use any plastic container or soup bowl in the meantime just to see how it effects the tub.

That being said being broke and wanting a snake do not go hand in hand. Even if you do get a yes, it would be wise to wait and save as much money for as you can so you have your own “snake funds” for the future. Wait until you can afford everything you need, including emergency vet money. You never know what might happen and you do not want to scrape by when things go wrong.

Waiting will also give you more time to research and learn as well as educate your parents and have them warm up to snake keeping, which as far as they are concerned, this may be their snake too.

Personally I feel it’s better you wait until you have a place of your own and are more financially stable, without needing to rely on friends to pick up the slack if you find you are unable to keep your snake. It’s simply not fair to your snake otherwise.

I'll not speak to the hiding-the-snake-from-your-parents-thing because everyone else has stated my same opinion on the matter.

I'll talk money and time and care, and this is coming from someone who did EVERYTHING the wrong way. When I got my first snake, I was twenty years old and literally sleeping on two blankets on the floor of a rented room in a multi-room apartment. I had no furniture of my own, I was still trying to find an apartment of my own, I was broke as **** while going to college full time and working part-time. I could barely afford food for myself let alone my cat or a snake, as all my money went to gas for my car, or bills. The snake was an impulse buy, an I'm-out-of-the-dorms-and-out-from-under-my-parents impulse buy. I'd always wanted a snake and thought what the heck? Petco was running a deal on ball pythons and I bought one. My roommate had an old 10 gallon aquarium, and on the recommendation of the dude at Petco, I bought a heat lamp, a half-log hide, and one of those stupid sticky thermometers.

I came onto BP.net very soon after as the snake wasn't eating (shocker). And thus my education - and my journey - began. I needed to ditch the light and get more humidity, but I couldn't afford a thermostat for a UTH. So I bought a cheapo rheostat. Okay... still couldn't really tell the temp because I couldn't afford a temp gun (this was fourteen years ago). I saved and bought a digital thermometer. I'm keeping the light and the UTH, and spraying as I can for the humidity. I make a second hide out of a plastic container because I can't afford anything else while I'm trying to save for a better enclosure.

Now I think things are going pretty good and the little guy has finally started eating. I learn about keeping snakes in tubs, so I get a couple plastic tubs and take a plastic shelving unit off a friend who is moving away and didn't want to take it. I get the little baby set up in his new tub, he's still eating, life is good. I love this little snake and I'm starting to become obsessed with BPs and the different morphs out there - and it comes up that someone is trying to rehome an adult. I'm young, confident (dumb) and so I get ANOTHER snake, before I even have the first take care of.

This one comes in fighting mad and with a burn on his belly. I hadn't been made aware of it, and I have no money for a vet (and I still have a cat :rolleyes: ). So I get some advice from a few people, put the snake on some dry paper towel, try to keep the temps steady, rub him down with bacitracin, etc. He gets better.

By this time, I've found an apartment for my roommate and myself, but it's expensive to live near campus and I still have to finish college. I can't afford all this stuff so I make the difficult decision to sell the baby snake. I keep the older one because I've bonded to him through the whole healing process.

However, I'm still young and "confident" so a couple months after moving into my new apartment, I take on ANOTHER snake that needs a home. See, I don't have money, but people know I like snakes and take care of them - and you wouldn't believe how many college students purchase animals only to dispose of them when they get real lives and real jobs. I get a second part time job - still taking classes too - and scrape together what I can to get a snake rack, thermostat, heat tape, etc. I get a decent little set up going... I don't even remember how many animals I ended up with, but I got completely overwhelmed. Six or seven snakes (including a boa who was completely deformed), eight geckos, etc etc. It was ridiculous.

You know how many of those animals I have today? None. Because when I graduated, I had to get a THIRD job. I was working a full time job, and two part time jobs, and I was still sinking. I couldn't afford food, I couldn't afford a vet. I had NO time.

Long story short, I found good homes for all the animals (minus the boa) and moved back in with my parents to reset. I didn't get another reptile for a couple years. I got a single good job, got a nice apartment with a second room, got all my materials beforehand, and then I started back into the hobby.

Life is tumultuous when you're young. It's tumultuous anyway, but it's easier to get a handle on things when you have a steady income and a steady place to live. Did I make it work? I guess that's debatable. It was HARD. I went without a lot. I didn't go out with friends because I couldn't afford it, I barely ate, I couldn't even go home to see my family because I couldn't afford the fuel. I remember breaking down and crying because I couldn't pay my bills. It was HARD. The animals never suffered and I - thank goodness - never had an emergency vet situation. But at what cost? I couldn't provide a stable situation for more than a few years.

I've since had to sell off my collection for a second time because I lost my stable income. That sucked. That really hurt. It's been years and to this day I only have a couple animals because I'm afraid of getting in too deep and not being able to provide. I want a boa. I will get a boa. I'm NOT getting one until I can get an AP cage with proper heat and equipment. I just built a house and I'm still adding things to it - a deck, a driveway. So I'm waiting on the boa. I've finally, finally learned patience.


I tell this looooong story because I was you. I did everything wrong. Maybe it worked out okay for me, but not really for the animals. I don't really know where any of them are now. I hope they're still alive and being cared for. But I don't know for sure. I regret that.

If you really want a critter you can love and care for and KEEP for the next 20-30 years... have patience. Get the funds together, get the job, get a place to live, get stability for yourself (which is FAR different than the stability your parents are currently providing for you). I promise you won't regret the wait in the end, even if it sucks now.

I always feel the need to chime in.

You're a teen. You live with your parents, you work at a pizza shop.

Over the next few years, your life is going to change dramatically. That's a good thing.

The best thing you can do, for yourself and your eventual snake(s) is to give yourself the freedom to allow your life to change in whatever way it needs. It'll probably change several times over and in three years you'll look back and be amazed how far you've come.

Not only don't get a snake, don't get any pet, don't get married, don't take any loans (except maybe student loans), don't let anything tie you to anything or anyone. Ride your life and see where it takes you.

Anything that ties you down now is only going to retard and prevent your development.

You'll never be more free than in the coming few years. Embrace that freedom and ride it for all its worth.

When its over, you've found your niche, and you're settled, fill your home with snakes.

As stated many times above, I'm not even going to touch on the not telling your parents thing. Said far too much already. Normally with all this info dumped down already, I wouldn't really respond, because i'd just be repeating info, but I felt maybe hearing some advice from someone who's the same age may help a bit, as well.

I'm going to start this off simply - I am NOT nearly as experienced as any of the people who commented above. As I said before, I'm 18 too, living at home. I only got my little guy a couple months back. But, in that time, I have at least learned a few things from this forum, and from the snake and breeders themselves, that I can share with you.

I think the biggest thing here, other than the parents thing, is the fact of you mentioning that you are currently broke. If anything, I could never agree to anyone buying any pet when they don't have any money; for obvious reasons. Initial setup costs a fair bit, even with a tub (though, i'm sure you've already discovered this), as well as the snake depending on the morph, who's shipping, etc etc. Not only that, vets are expensive. Just a checkup alone for Paarthurnax costs me between $80-120, not counting the gas it takes for me to drive to one of the very few exotic vets in my area of New Jersey. Don't forget, that doesn't even include any medication the snake might need in case of a (god forbid) emergency. Keeping pets is like keeping kids: tiring, and expensive, but also can be enjoyable.

I can't lie, i'm a bit of a rapid spender. Luckily, I was able to get a part time job, as well as the ability through word of mouth to fix computers and electronics on the side, to get the cash I need to pay for my animals. Any purchase, for any animal, I sink AT LEAST 2-3 hours of research into what supplies they would need to survive properly, and a good few hours more comparing prices online and in store. Setting up is always going to be the first, large expense, but planning for sudden expenses is always needed with any type of pet. I actually keep a stash in my room with about $350 specifically for if something goes wrong with a pet, electronic, etc.

Honestly, the one thing I can say is, if you're like me, and you don't have the money, be careful how much you research. I usually end up wanting something so much that I go out of my way to get it any way I can.

Other than just money, I also had to think of my future, as everyone else has said. Where was I going to live after I finish High School (man, I really shouldn't be typing this during class again)? Is there any places nearby that allow me to care for my pet like shops, vets, etc? Would I be stable financially throughout college? If crap hits the fan, do i have the ability to get my pets cared for properly while i'm not around? With these reasons, I almost didn't get a snake. In fact, I was even almost planning to get rid of my fish tank in the process. It wasn't until I started fixing computers and such that I was aware that I could get what I needed and care for my animals. My dad told me not to move out, he wanted me to live at home to save money. If anything, with my pets, i'm pretty sure he wants to keep them for himself if I ever do have to move, he's always asking on how he can help with them. I know I have my situation set, for now, and that i'm prepared for the worst if need be. If something happens, I know I have the funds to help commit to it, and the people to help take care of it if I need some help.

If you can't answer every single one of those questions truthfully with a 'yes', then it's probably in you're best interest to wait. Don't worry, i'm impatient too, but I've learned that the longer the wait, the better it feels in the end when you finally have what you want sitting in your hands.