How do you deal with negative reactions about your reptile keeping?

Perhaps it's because of my size, or maybe it's my winning smile, or maybe, I'm just a total smartass, but I generally don't encounter people in public who are overt in their objection to my snakes. However, since my partner and I now run a retail shop I do occasionally have people come in who are either genuinely afraid or genuinely stupid. The generally afraid I will generally try to educate, but if they don't want to learn I don't feel obligated to teach. Now the genuinely stupid, or conversely those who think they know everything but are in actuality genuinely stupid, are fair game.

Hearing something like, "oh, I hate snakes. Won't they try to kill you if they can?" often prompts me to respond with something like, "Well, they might try to kill you, especially after what you said, but if I don't give the attack command you'll be ok. For another minute or so."

People with kids who ask if we feed them the cute little mice and rats and then go on to tell me how cruel it is often get something from me along the lines of, "best keep an eye on your kid, last one that got too close almost got eaten, had to pull the little bugger out of the snake by his shoelaces."

Just plain idiots looking for an argument are often asked, "why does your opinion matter to me again?"

But then, I've been doing this a bit longer than most of you so I'm both amused and jaded.

I tend to ignore negative reactions, enjoy YOUR passion and don't let what others may think bother you or get you down.

I have dealt with the ignorance of others on more then one occasion. My own mother hates snakes and rats and will not even step foot into my house. I am fine with that because I really don't want her here anyways, we do not get along. I get so many negative comments from people I know. Like why do you keep snakes and rats in the first place. My response is because it is something that I love to do and I enjoy keeping reptiles, particularly snakes. People are so grossed out about my pet rats too. I love rats, they make awesome pets! They are more intelligent then some of the people I have encountered. I think Wes hit home with his response. You can always count on him for solid and sound advice.

I don't really get many negative reactions from people, but I rarely go out of my way to bring up the fact that I have snakes. Plus, I do plenty of other things that freak people out (skydiving, BASE jumping, paragliding, climbing, freediving), so they can't possibly complain about everything I do. They have to pick and choose, and if I get tired of hearing about one hobby they don't approve of I just change the subject to another one. It's almost comical. If you do something different from the norm, there will always be someone who doesn't like it. Don't let it bother you.

Typically all I need to do is demonstrate how much of a sweetheart they actually are. They tend to win people over most of the time.

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Originally Posted by rossi46

Let me share a common saying from my days in the army: "mind over matter - if you don't mind, it don't matter!" :)

Essentially, the only reason you can get upset by someone else's comments is if you let them bother you; if you allow yourself to get upset. One of life's secrets to happiness is not letting others determine your sense of happiness. If you like to keep snakes, then what does anyone else's opinion on that matter?

The truth is, everyone has "weird" things they're into. That's what makes us all different and, to be honest, interesting. With 6+ billion people on the planet, chances are there will be an unimaginable variety of interests.

One last thing, it may be helpful to keep your snake thing a "secret," shared only with those who are mature enough to accept your enthusiasm for something outside the mainstream. I really don't tell anyone about my snake-keeping, which solves the problem of dealing with those who would have negative reactions. :gj:

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^ I 100% agree with this. I've always been very selective in who I tell, it's just a drag almost no one knows that I keep snakes/reptiles because I know the impending reaction I'll get if I were to tell them. It's something I'm certainly not ashamed of, even though it's often tabooed by societal standards.

You're right, though. It's "weird" to keep herps by society's norms, but then again weird is a subjective term that's different for everyone. I might initially consider it weird for someone to have a collection of 200+ taxidermied gophers all dressed to resemble different celebrities, but I wouldn't write them of just yet. I'd be interested (albeit terrified for life - JK. Sorta'), but I wouldn't spout off degrading and hurtful remarks. I guess the key is to be open-minded to those who are close-minded.

Thanks for the insightful suggestions, everyone! :)

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Originally Posted by ballpythonluvr

I have dealt with the ignorance of others on more then one occasion. My own mother hates snakes and rats and will not even step foot into my house. I am fine with that because I really don't want her here anyways, we do not get along. I get so many negative comments from people I know. Like why do you keep snakes and rats in the first place. My response is because it is something that I love to do and I enjoy keeping reptiles, particularly snakes. People are so grossed out about my pet rats too. I love rats, they make awesome pets! They are more intelligent then some of the people I have encountered. I think Wes hit home with his response. You can always count on him for solid and sound advice.

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How do you deal with feeding rats to your snakes when you also have a relationship with and understanding of rats as pets? No judgement here at all- it just seems stressful to me and I'm curious how you handle the cognitive dissonance.

As far as people having issues with snakes as pets: Whatever. My son thinks snakes are cool, my roommates aren't interested in interacting but don't mind Pandora being here or out of her tank (as long as I'm in control). Beyond them, I don't give a fcxk. I'm single at the moment, and I just figure if a man objects to a snake in my bedroom, he's got no business being there in the first place because we are not going to get along.

My pets rats are my pets and feeders are feeders. I don't have a problem feeding off live rats while keeping three as pets. I'm not cruel to them. They get clean food and water and affection if they want it before they're put into a tub. I treat them the same I do the pets, except at the end of the day the feeder ends up in a snake and the pet goes back to her 'sisters'. Both have a role to play.

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Originally Posted by UltraViolet

How do you deal with feeding rats to your snakes when you also have a relationship with and understanding of rats as pets? No judgement here at all- it just seems stressful to me and I'm curious how you handle the cognitive dissonance.

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How do farmers/ranchers have cows, goats, pigs, etc, as pets if they aren't vegetarians? As Inarikins said, it is possible to keep the two separated in your mind... I have a few pet mice myself, and also feed live mice & rats to my snakes. You just see them differently!

One of my friends(A) is deathly afraid of snakes. When we were over at my other friend's(L) house and I was holding the snake, she would run away... so I told A to just pet the snake. She did and now she's not so uncomfortable. She still won't hold it because it "feels weird", but she isn't afraid at least.

I did the same thing with another friend when we were over at L's house another time. After she pet it, she fell in love and held the snake the whole time!

I had my sister's friend, who is afraid of pretty much any animal except fish, hold my corn snake once. She still doesn't like snakes, but at least she's more confortable now.

I've never gotten mad about people's fear of snakes, because I'm scared of things that other people would think are silly to be afraid of. Some people will just never get over their fears, and I would never make them uncomfortable, even if I thought it was stupid.
I also think that if they comment on your personality or especially your social status, it's more of a "trying to be cool" fear than an actual fear and they're trying to keep their image, while ruining yours so they look better than you. I wonder what this girl's reaction would have been if your other friend wasn't there...