My Fiance Is Driving Me Nuts And I Don't Know What To Do

She sounds like someone with some control issues. Getting mad and throwing a tantrum till you comfort her, shutting you down when she doesn't feel like talking about whatever topic, etc.

Personally it's someone I wouldn't get along with on a friend level, let alone a significant other.

This doesn't seem to be about the animals. Like you said, number of snakes hasn't changed, you're getting a different one in place of a snake you rehomed :confusd:

Don't really have any advice as I'm the world's biggest pushover, but this really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. I hope you can work things out to where you're able to make yourself happy though.

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Originally Posted by liv

It seems like the animal issue is an indication of deeper relationship problems, mainly lack of communication and her being a bit controlling. Even though pets can seem "silly" to some people, when you love something as much as you clearly love animals, denying you that joy is a huge hurdle in your relationship. While obviously you love her, it may be time to re-evaluate what you're priorities and goals are in life compared to hers.

I hope you can get her to open up and start talking!!!

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this x2

On top of what others have said - here is my personal thoughts on the matter.

It sounds like there may be more going on in the relationship side of things that is completely moot in regards to the animals. I think she's using these animals as the vehicle to transfer emotions into conversations. Perhaps she's having larger amounts of stress than normal with work, or maybe something happened that she does not want to talk about, but feels the need to vent out control and anger and is taking out on something that is a current change. The change could've hit on something as small as you getting a new haircut even if this was the case.

None the less, sharing passions is not always a must. Have diversity in a relationship can add to its value by expanding on one anothers joys in life. It's aweome when these joys click, but sometimes they don't and that should be a sign of an issue that should be addressed. However, all that being said, it's hard to focus on eachother when distance creates a barrier that enables change to occur. Just earlier today I had a conversation about this that may make no sense to some, and plenty to others. . .

Distance between two people who were once completely compatible, can cause barriers to form causing them to no longer be compatible. Think of it as mountains, islands, and stretches of urbanization to the effects on species and evolution. These barriers force a species to be apart from eachother and then both species are exposed to varying elements that drive a change. She could be experiencing different pressures at her current location that is causing a shift in her mindset and thus "evolving" her way of thinking. This evolution of distance can become a very hard barrier to break (thus we have the formation of new sub-species, and even new species in certain cases given enough tough). But my advice is get to her. Break the barrier of distance down as soon as possible, and examine how things are there. Ignore what's going on with your new snake desires, and currrent animal issues, and really find out what is causing the change on her side. This is probably one of your best ways to ensure you two do not separate into completely isolated individuals which leads to a loss of compatability with one another.

Hope this gives some different insight to the matter. And goodluck.

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Originally Posted by reptileexperts

On top of what others have said - here is my personal thoughts on the matter.

It sounds like there may be more going on in the relationship side of things that is completely moot in regards to the animals. I think she's using these animals as the vehicle to transfer emotions into conversations. Perhaps she's having larger amounts of stress than normal with work, or maybe something happened that she does not want to talk about, but feels the need to vent out control and anger and is taking out on something that is a current change. The change could've hit on something as small as you getting a new haircut even if this was the case.

None the less, sharing passions is not always a must. Have diversity in a relationship can add to its value by expanding on one anothers joys in life. It's aweome when these joys click, but sometimes they don't and that should be a sign of an issue that should be addressed. However, all that being said, it's hard to focus on eachother when distance creates a barrier that enables change to occur. Just earlier today I had a conversation about this that may make no sense to some, and plenty to others. . .

Distance between two people who were once completely compatible, can cause barriers to form causing them to no longer be compatible. Think of it as mountains, islands, and stretches of urbanization to the effects on species and evolution. These barriers force a species to be apart from eachother and then both species are exposed to varying elements that drive a change. She could be experiencing different pressures at her current location that is causing a shift in her mindset and thus "evolving" her way of thinking. This evolution of distance can become a very hard barrier to break (thus we have the formation of new sub-species, and even new species in certain cases given enough tough). But my advice is get to her. Break the barrier of distance down as soon as possible, and examine how things are there. Ignore what's going on with your new snake desires, and currrent animal issues, and really find out what is causing the change on her side. This is probably one of your best ways to ensure you two do not separate into completely isolated individuals which leads to a loss of compatability with one another.

Hope this gives some different insight to the matter. And goodluck.

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I really love you for giving me an Allopatric Speciation example. <3 Now you're speaking my language.

tis how my mind sees all things. . . gotta love the mind of a biologist :-). To lighten the mood here's my thoughts genetically on relationships.

Relationships are a ressessive trait that operates under two easy to understand conditions - right and wrong. r=Right R=wrong

When we think of whether or not a relationship has ground to survive, we examine it as two situations. The first being we have the right relationship at the wrong time (Rr) While its the possibility for the makings of a good relationship, we still see the wrong output and ultimately it fails. Next we have the Wrong relationship at the Right time (Rr), and again, the wrong side of the relationship fails and what had potential is now in the past. But in that rare circumstance where the odds were in your favor, you hit the Right relationship at the Right time (rr). And this relationship now has the genetic stability for the right reasons to show through. Thus in conclusion. All relationships are homo...zygous. :-)

I dont think its important for a significant other to share the same interests as you but they should be able to at least support you. For example: i hate horses; however, if i liked a chick that liked horses id be willing to support her hobby of riding them or uh... whatever else you do with the stupid things. It's part of a mutual respect you have to have for your partner. She sounds really selfish and kind of immature; hanging up the phone if you bring up a topic she doesnt like. Really? That's so childish. I would try and sit down and have a serious talk with her. If that doesnt work then maybe you need to think about taking a break.

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Originally Posted by reptileexperts

tis how my mind sees all things. . . gotta love the mind of a biologist :-). To lighten the mood here's my thoughts genetically on relationships.

Relationships are a ressessive trait that operates under two easy to understand conditions - right and wrong. r=Right R=wrong

When we think of whether or not a relationship has ground to survive, we examine it as two situations. The first being we have the right relationship at the wrong time (Rr) While its the possibility for the makings of a good relationship, we still see the wrong output and ultimately it fails. Next we have the Wrong relationship at the Right time (Rr), and again, the wrong side of the relationship fails and what had potential is now in the past. But in that rare circumstance where the odds were in your favor, you hit the Right relationship at the Right time (rr). And this relationship now has the genetic stability for the right reasons to show through. Thus in conclusion. All relationships are homo...zygous. :-)

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This is rather clever. I smell a book deal coming... :D haha

its years of wrong relationships while studying biology ;-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by reptileexperts

tis how my mind sees all things. . . gotta love the mind of a biologist :-). To lighten the mood here's my thoughts genetically on relationships.

Relationships are a ressessive trait that operates under two easy to understand conditions - right and wrong. r=Right R=wrong

When we think of whether or not a relationship has ground to survive, we examine it as two situations. The first being we have the right relationship at the wrong time (Rr) While its the possibility for the makings of a good relationship, we still see the wrong output and ultimately it fails. Next we have the Wrong relationship at the Right time (Rr), and again, the wrong side of the relationship fails and what had potential is now in the past. But in that rare circumstance where the odds were in your favor, you hit the Right relationship at the Right time (rr). And this relationship now has the genetic stability for the right reasons to show through. Thus in conclusion. All relationships are homo...zygous. :-)

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I am now 100% that we were meant to be best friends. :D That is literally the best, most logical explanation I have ever heard. Biology majors for the win!

I think that the snakes are just an excuse. There are other issues going on I am affraid. Good luck and I hope the best for you.