cheating

The part where he cheated on you bothers me less than the part where you said that he admitted to treating you badly for awhile now..

That makes me wonder if he CAN change. Also if he's only cheated once. I mean, if he always treated you great and made one mistake, and then did all that to get you back, it would most likely warrant a second chance to me.

Of he's been treating you like crap for awhile, and things aren't the way they should be and haven't been, that's a red flag. I would have suspected the cheating the moment he "changed" and started treating me bad.

An ex-boyfriend cheated on me after a few years of being together. He made up an excuse that the girl(an old friend supposedly) invited him to her house and surprised him by dropping her panties.
At first, I brushed it off like it was no big deal. I guess I was in shock and it didn't really set in at the time.
We were still together, but it really ate me up for a long time after that. I really couldn't trust him anymore.
It only took 2 months after that before we really broke up. It was just a nasty break up where we kept getting back together and breaking up over and over and over again for weeks. We were just trying to save the relationship, but it was hurt after hurt after hurt. He asked for forgiveness and to get back with each other because he was lonely. After he got over the "lonely phase", he eventually admitted that he was happy of the break up and that he felt more 'free'.
It took me a long time to return to normal and I did some psychological counseling. It was the first time I was alone in years.
We're still 'friends'. We speak once in a blue moon, but the trust isn't there any more. And in all relationships, trust is the most important part.

I was told this many times during my break up. "You don't want him. You want the companionship and stability." Turns out they were right. I was just trying to save the relationship because I wanted somebody.

If your fiance was able to go out and cheat on you, there is clearly something lacking in the relationship no matter how much you love him. It's his own way of subconsciously or conscious letting everyone know that something is wrong and that he doesn't like what your relationship is now.
If he couldn't resist the other girl for you, then he doesn't deserve you. Don't let it get toxic.
Like Doolittle said, get out before someone gets hurt more. You specifically...
You will find the right person someday who will want you and want no one else.

I was cheated on by an ex fiance about 4 years ago. At the time we tried to fix things, but it made me very jealous and controlling. It completely messed me up, permenantly too sadly. Knowing he cheated tore me up inside it made me crazy. Then he cheated again and I completely broke down. We broke up for good but it was a nasty break up, he had even started to abuse me physically.

Its 4 years later and my poor husband has to deal still with what that guy put me through. But i kniw now i have a man that loves me because he puts up with my baggage.

I believe if he cheated once and was treating you badly leave him.
You can find.someone better who would never consider such a thing.

I wish you the very best in whatever you decide.

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk 2

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DrDooLittle

I have been married for 12 years, and trust is of the utmost importance. I trust my husband 100%, we both believe that is the worst betrayal. Once that has been broken, I don't see how it could ever be the same. IMO, if you are at the point where you could do that (cheat) you are not happy in your relationship. And if you aren't happy, you should just get out before you hurt the other half. You, deserve better than that. There is somebody out there for everybody, someone who will treat you with respect and not hurt you. If he was able to do it once, what's to stop him from doing it again? I don't think I could get over that, personally. It would always be in the back of my mind. But I am not the kind of person to put up with that, so, that's just me. IMO, you deserve to be treated better than that. Good luck in whatever you do.

Sent from my ADR6350 using Tapatalk 2

---

Wait.

You're a chick?

I had you pegged as a male asian college student..................or something along those lines.

Lol!! Oh myyyy!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Skiploder

Wait.

You're a chick?

I had you pegged as a male asian college student..................or something along those lines.

---

Wow! Lol

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk 2

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by melodyb1985

do u believe once a cheater always a cheater? if your spouse cheated on you...would you give them another chance in the future? i ask because friday night i found out my fiance cheated on me...and he has been begging for me to forgive him, and told me he didnt know how much he realy loved me and wanted me till i packed my stuff up and left...and that he realizes he has treated me like crap for a while now and he would do anything to change...i told him i dont know what to do..i told him he had to tell his "friends" that talked him into cheating on me and the sister of his friend that he cheated on me with to not come around no more, and that he wanted me and she was a mistake..he did it face to face with all 3 of them....and he changed his number so they couldnt call..but im still not sure if i should walk away from him forever..or be his friend and see if he changess....there are three parts of me ....one says forgive him and he regrets it..i know thats the stupid part of me and i wont do it...the 2nd is walk away and never look back...but even after this i still love him..but the 3rd is give him a chance to prove himself and be his friend...and see what happens with the friendship in a year or so....everyone i asked tells me to walk away and find someone better..but none of them are in stable relationships or have ever been in a stable relationship..and are family so they are going to tell me to leave cause he hurt me..sorry for the ramble..im confused..please i need advice..not hate..i would post on my mommy forum but there all females...and i think a males point of view is just as important

---

Think of this time with your fiance as something akin to test driving a new car. Go with that visual.

You are driving down the road in this new car on a test drive. There is a smarmy salesman riding shotgun with you wearing white shoes with maroon pants and a white belt. You are taking in that new car smell and have started to imagine it parked in your driveway You are driving it down the highway at top speed and all four wheels fall off and the hood flies open.

Would you still buy the car?

Didn't think so.

You can give him a second chance, but I personally believe it isn't worth it. You deserve the best person to love you and be faithful to you. It looks to me like he isn't cutting it. If he ever second guessing loving you, enough to cheat on you, then what prevents him from having more second thoughts?

He screwed up. I wouldn't care how much he said he wanted me back. The damage has been done.

Moving on will be tough in the beginning, but I believe your quality of life will be better if you move on.

My boyfriend of 4 years, whom I live with, cheated on me emotionally and I ended it. He lied to me about going to see another girl and I found some emails between the two of them. They didn't admit to anything physical but from my standpoint I was still cheated on, and mind you, it wasn't the first time. I wasn't going to put up with that at all. I ended it immediately. And the worst part is the other girl was my sister. So I can't even imagine what it could feel like to be physically cheated on, but if I were you I couldn't stand being with someone who could do something like that to someone they supposedly love.

Cheating is cheating, but just because it happens once, doesn't mean it will always happen again. Circumstances are different for everyone but the one question you have to answer is "can I ever let this go?" If you can't truly move forward, then walk away now.

If you honestly believe it was a one time slip-up, and really want to be with him, give him the chance to prove it was a one time mistake and earn your trust back. He needs to know that you will be suspicious, angry and hurt for a long time and he needs to be willing to do whatever it takes to help heal that.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you. Listen to your head, not your heart.

Sent from my PC36100 using Tapatalk 2