The Boy Friend or Snakes ???

Sounds like it's time for a little self reflection. Take a look at you and your situation. Are you really spending more time with your animals than you are your boyfriend? Do you put them ahead of him? Is he being unreasonably jealous or concerned? One thing I can tell you is, I am engaged, we have a baby, over 50 snakes, a boat load of rats. But, my girls ALWAYS come first.

Now if he is just jealous because deep down inside he feels you love your snakes more than him, then that's a him problem. If you're really spending more time with your animals than him because you really DO love them more than him, then that's a you problem. Next time he complains, think to yourself how much time you've spent with your animals that day versus how much time you've spent with him. Maybe you'll learn whether or not it's him being unreasonable, or you being obsessive. Once you realize who is really the problem with the relationship, you'll know how to fix it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by LGray23

I think the Thanks button is like a Like button, just labelled differently. Works the same way anyways...I don't see a difference. Plus it adds to reputation.

---

Precisely

Doesn't sound like a complete story, something must have happened recently for this to be the "last straw" after him tolerating them for the past 4 years.

You spend too much time with your animals...... Blah blah blah blah.
Tell him to kick rocks.
In my world any man that loves me for me will accept the fact that I live for my animals and caring for them. I find working with reptiles exciting. Any man in my life will be happy and excited for me that I have a hobby I love. And yes I have told a man to shooo because he didn't like the animals. There a part of my life. If you don't like it you don't have to be in my life.
Always do what you love for you.


Check out what's new on my website... www.Homegrownscales.com

I love how objective everyone is. You people do realize that sometimes a hobby can monopolize your time and cause stress in a relationship right? I'm not saying this is the case, but having experienced this first hand, it's something that everyone should consider before blindly stating to blow off a person the OP has been dating for 4 years.

As has been said, look to what and who is causing the friction/issue. Is it you or him or a combination of the two? Me personally, I'd sell or place my racks, snakes and rodents in a flat second if it were that or my wife. She was there for me well before my animals and while I love them dearly and get a great deal of enjoyment from raising/keeping them, she matters more to me than anything in this world, my job and hobbies included. I take excellent care of my animals and would gladly place them for free to ensure they were getting the best possible home if it came to that and I was unable to sell them. To say you should throw away four years with someone without knowing the whole story...I won't go that far. Work on it if it can be resolved and so long as no one is causing harm to the other or themselves. If you or the other person are in danger, then that's an entirely different story. If it's something that can be worked out and you guys come to an agreement, great. Like the saying says, walk a mile in that person's shoes before you make a judgement call and hear where he's coming from versus maybe what he's saying or his choice in wording. I dunno, just my two cents. Good luck and hope it works out for you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mike41793

Snakes. Always pick the snakes, they dont talk back :rofl:
:

---

:rofl::rofl::gj: thats what im saying.

I think there are a number of factors involved.

Is this a hobby that spends your money, or that makes some money (or at least pays for itself)?
Do you spend more time than is necessary to care for your snakes properly? Do you spend a LOT more time?
How much time do you spend with your boyfriend?
Do you have the snakes out when you're spending time with your boyfriend?

If you are absolutely unwilling to compromise, or can't compromise, and he is unhappy with this...after 4 years...perhaps it's dawning on him that this may not be the situation he wants to be in, and you may both be better off shouldering the discomfort, and moving on.
It doesn't entirely sound as though you are in love with him...regardless of how he feels about you. Is this true? You seem more angry than heartbroken, although such things can be difficult to gauge over the internet.

You certainly will be able to find someone who is as obsessed with snakes as you are...if you did, would you be happy to spend time with your snakes, and your boyfriend, at the same time? Would you be happy if your boyfriend spent time with the snakes instead with you? Evaluate this honestly. You do need to decide what will make you happy.

It's a large world out there...too large, in MY opinion, to settle for someone who is there, instead of seeking someone who is right.

If he really loves you, he would accept the snakes because they mean so much to you.
Does he have a hobby of his own? Doesn't sound like it... Maybe if he finds a hobby you both can spend time on doing what you love, and still be happy together.
I hope everything works out... 4 years is a long time to just throw away! :(
Goodluck :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dart

I love how objective everyone is. You people do realize that sometimes a hobby can monopolize your time and cause stress in a relationship right? I'm not saying this is the case, but having experienced this first hand, it's something that everyone should consider before blindly stating to blow off a person the OP has been dating for 4 years.

---

So can't children, and full time jobs, and school. If someone can't at the VERY least accept a passion such as this, how can you expect them to accept other parts of your life? I'm a 24 y/o single mom, I work more than full time in a very high stress job, I'm also in the Air Force Reserves, and will be starting school full time very shortly. How can I expect a guy to deal with all that if he can't even handle my snakes? :confusd:

You can't. This is a passion. It's not like a drug addiction, or an alcohol problem, or anything dangerous. It's keeping reptiles. If a guy tells me he can't accept my reptiles and tarantulas, then he sure as heck can't accept the more serious aspects of my life. Four years or not :rolleyes: