How would you handle this?

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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I must say that as much as I enjoyed the last few posters ideas, this one is probably the best answer. If either you or your parents are too stubborn to change, then you have to find some other way. But the way your origional post sounded was as if you have to move in, because you no longer have any room mates and your BF had no issue moving in with his family. If living on your own means money is too tight to take care of yourself or your animal, then you need to either try to convince your parents logically or give up the animal. If your parents would let you have a corn snake or something small to get them used to the idea, and feel more comfortable while a friend cares for your boa maybe that will work. You can still see your snake, and hopefully be able to have it at home eventually. Or if you have a friend that can care for it until you can afford to live on your own and properly care for yourself and the snake.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by wilomn

Their house, their rules. Change the snakes name, it's not like it cares. Naming in that is just a childish attention seeking jab at everyone who might otherwise cut you some slack.

If you are unable to convince them to let you come home, why make it a fight. Either they are stubborn, you are stubborn, you are unable to communicate adequately the lack of danger when properly kept, or deep down you just don't want to.

A snake is not a dog. If you have to give it up, so long as it goes to a good home, the snake won't give a rat's patootie. Are you making enough to support yourself and your snake or do you really need to move back home to make ends meet?

Their fear is not unreasonable. Boas are dangerous. Do you handle yours alone? You seem like a fairly small person and a snake the size of the one on your neck could give you trouble if you were solo and something went South. Perhaps you should give them more time, take them to a zoo or a reptile store and let them get used to something a lot smaller; perhaps a corn or king or hognose.

Non-reptile people often don't get why we like these guys so much, but we often forget that their fears are real.

I'd give this a lot more thought if I were you.

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While I agree with most of what you are saying, the snake's name is Satin NOT Satan. Satin is a fabric not the devil.

xFenrir your only choices might be to either give up the snake or find another place to live. If you don't believe you will be staying with your parents long you might be able to find someone to foster the snake for a while. While it is admirable that you feel a huge sense of responsibility to your boa you need to think about what will be best for both of you in the long run. If you are trying to save money because you need to, then you should probably rehome her and move in with your parents. :(

Your parents have spent their lives to be where they are today, which includes unknown and untold sacrifices they have made for you to be what, who, and where you are today. They have earned the right to say what goes on in their house. Believe me as a parent, I know. In addition they have done their job in raising you up well enough, to be someone who was able to strike out on their own, even if only for a short while. Now they are offering to make more sacrfices and offering you a place to come back to that will give you an opportunity to jump start again, your life. This time it will be even more effort then before as you are a grown woman who has your own opinions and has been on your own. You are upset because you can't keep your snake?

I am sorry of it offends you, but it seems a little selfish on your part that this is even an issue. Life is full of hard choices, and this is not one of them as you will learn when you get further along in your life. Live with them and no snake. Live on your own and don't have the means to keep your snake. This is a no brainer. Be thankful you have parents that love you enough that they would make the offer to let you move back in. There are many who don't.

Just my $0.02

Hey OP, can you clarify the name of your snake please? Is it a soft and pleasant fabric it's named after of the lord of darkness?

She's named after the fabric, not the biblical character. lol

And people, I knew this would come up, and I KNOW it's "their house, their rules". I'm not some selfish little girl who just wants to get her way. Please don't treat me like that. Off the bat, without them even saying anything to me, I've already told my bf to take my ball python because I know 2 snakes would definitely be a "no" situation. What I'm trying to do is work at a compromise with them. It's already just one snake instead of two, and I need them to see also that this isn't just a hobby or a "I'm so badass I own SNAKES" type of deal. This is what I'll be doing with the rest of my LIFE. If it was a hobby then yes, I could see that rehoming her would probably be for the best, but I feel that since I'm going to be studying them. working with them, and owning more (in the future), giving up one now is pretty redundant. And it's also kind of personally hurt my feelings: when I have my own place again, and another (even larger) collection, are they just never going to visit me because I have snakes? Even if they were in a basement or separate room? This is part of who I am, and it's not going to change whether I give up my snakes this time or not. I want them to be comfortable with ME, as well. Now, if I had a Burm or a Retic then yes, I could definitely see their reluctance to have something like that in their house. And I understand that she's a bigger species, but she won't get much larger than she is now.

I started this thread because I want to work WITH my parents, not against them. It's not me whining for support for MY side of the argument. I want to keep my snake, and they never gave me a flat-out no, just a "we need to think about it" and I want to have a good pro-snakes side for them to consider. And I'm already giving up more things aside from the snake situation. I always feel that a compromise can always be reached.

And nowhere did I say I can't afford to live on my own. I can. I'm doing it now. It's just living with my parents would let me have even more money. I figured that was the first logical choice, and if it didn't work out then I'd get a different place to live. I'm not doing it because I'm S.O.L. in life.

Unfortunately there is little one can do in a situation where parents are not accepting of a species or family of animal. Some have such deep fears that it becomes repulsing to even think of having it in their homes. Some parents can look beyound it and see the passion in their child, and the devistation it would cost them to lose it. Others simply see it as an unloveable creature that has no right living in the house that they pay for and provide for.

If you wanted to throw pros and cons out there to them its not too difficult to weigh things out, but honestly seems as if it would be a lost cause. You can explain that they have no smell, make no noise, and generally stay in hides most of the day while they are active at night. You can promise to have no interaction with your parents and the snake at the same time, and that even while you're going the snake will have no escape as the cage is, I'm assuming, escape proof. Explain that your snake is on a healthy diet, and shows no agression. Explain what you feel you want out of life, and let them know that this snake has a part in your future whether they can be accepting of it or not. . .

To my parents it became more about space . . . danger . . . cost . . . So to get a bigger collection I invested in more quality enclosures that looked amazing that are escape proof. I use the most heat effecient styles to heat caging as I can . . . Moved to rack systems for my balls. . . these were my compromises. Now my parents still grunt about the snakes, still hate the boa (except mom has come around), but its something they have began to embrace finally after over a decade of raising snakes in their home. . . now that I've expanded it's still give and take. I give them more money per month to pay for heating. I buy appliances to keep upkeep in the house going. It's still cheaper than me buying my own place for the time being, and everyone benefits from it. You can try that approach. Let your parents know you'd be willing to do more for the family coming back, pay some kind of rent, maybe cover one of the utility bills every month. The little things add up, and your parents may respect you a little more for it, and become easier on the snake situation.

Explain they are not venomous, they do not attack humans, and they can't swallow anything in the house except for the rats. . . You can throw statistics about snakes killing dogs and cats or people out there, and show just how low the risk is, but it will still say "its happened once It can happen again" type of thing. Just keep a cool head when you do manage to have more discusssions with them about it. Let your passions do the talking, but do not become emotional where your mind is no longer thinging straight and you start to act out of resentment or anger.

That's about all I can say on this . . . so there is now my .04 on the mattter.

Thank you for clearing that up. So often I see people going for the attention grabbing aspect of snake keeping that I just ASSumed, making an ass of myself, that you were one of those.

You may have to give this one up if you want to move back home, but it's not the end of the world. As you have said, it's your life and if you really mean it, then perhaps you could convince them to let you get a baby for Xmas or as a compromise.

There's almost always a workaround available. Redtailboas.net is a pretty good site, maybe you could glean some useful hints over there.

Good luck.

I know this is probably silly thinking and may not even be the case, but are your parents older, Fenrir? The reason I ask is because I have found that many "older" people who don't like snakes don't like them because they've been fed bullcrap stories about them and they believe it. For example, my mom is a younger mom and has nothing but respect and admiration for me keeping my snakes. She hasn't gone so far as to hold any of them, but she has petted Diablo before and is constantly asking me questions about them. My grandma, however, has an ingrained fear of snakes and up until I started keeping them, she believed that all species, regardless of size were terribly dangerous. When she found out about my first snake (my adult Snow Corn), she called me up and said: Why in the world would you want a dangerous, poisonous pet?!? Are you crazy?!?

When I explained to her that the snake was not "poisonous" (no explaining to her that snakes weren't ever poisonous to begin with....some species are venomous, but not poisonous, lol), she said: Oh child, what if it gets loose and strangles you in your sleep? *Facepalm* At that point, I knew it was going to take a whole lotta education to show my grandma that my snakes weren't the offspring of the devil. :D

So I guess what I am getting at, is maybe they just need a whole lotta education on your boa? What it eats, how often it eats, the fact that it only poo's once or twice a week (or month in bigger snakes), the type of enclosure you keep it in, it's habits, it's personality, etc, etc, etc. Show them how passionate you really are about your boa by telling them the facts and showing them that the "dangerous" monster they believe you are keeping is actually a docile, inquisitive animal...one that you love. Of course, I am not saying that this will change their mind. Sometimes people can't wrap their mind around others loving something that they believe shouldn't even exist in this world. Unfortunately for you, if they are adamant about your boa not staying...you are going to have to come to the decision on whether you want to give up your boa and shoot for another in the future, or find another solution (such as your own place or new roommates). I do wish you the best of luck, though, and I hope your parents come around and see that this really is something you love and cherish, regardless of the fact they don't like it. I wish all parents could be like my mom and dad, lol.

Becca Granger: Yes, both my parents are in their 60's. The hard part about this whole situation isn't that they aren't comfortable with or hate snakes, or even misunderstand them (to a degree, I guess they might, but they know she's a constrictor and other basic stuff like that), they just aren't snake/reptile people. My parents understand that people bond with a dog or a cat or even guinea pigs and such, but I think they're having a hard time understanding a bond between a human being and something that doesn't really care either way. And I think they're caught on the "well, what if it DOES get out, huh?" aspect of snake keeping. I can say with certainty that we built this tank to be escape-proof, and really the only way she'd get out is if someone else broke the glass or left the door open. Either way, they weren't clear on WHAT they were against, just that they were against it. I explained the basics to them and they have 2 months before our lease is up so they definitely have time to think about it. If not, I already have a room being held for me with another friend of mine and his roommates who own a townhouse, so I have my bases covered if moving back home doesn't work out.