Touchy subject

I highly recommend seeing some professional help.

Praying for you bud. Nothing else for me to add that others haven't said already.

I agree with all that's been said. I too have been there and have been hospitalized for a week due to my attempt and suicide. It was a foolish thing to do over a non permanent problem. My friends weren't really friends but I didn't have anyone else to hangout with, they would tell me my sad moods brought everyone down and I needed to suck it up because peolpe don't like being around depressed people and that if I ever wanted to keep a girlfriend I needed to knock it off. So I started cutting and burning myself, I at one time burned "I hate me" on my forarm for all to see, hoping to get some needed help and prove that my problem was real to people. I was seeing a girl on and off at the time and she wouldn't date me again because I had hurt her to many times....that along with my horrible friends led me to the night in which I tried to take my life into my own hands. I was already on several meds and so I took about 20 xanax, my mom saw me do it and tried to wrestle the pills free, but I had already swallowed them. I was immediately taken to the hospital which was all a blur as I was not all there, they pumped my stomach and luckily the pills hadn't fully dissolved in that time, I was hooked to fluids and was stable by the next day. I spent another 4-5 days in there seeing numerous therapist and psychiatrist. Eventually I was allowedto go but I couldn't be in charge of my meds or be left alone. It was an eye opening moment for my parents as they didn't know it was that serious.
I started seeing a therapist every few days and we tweaked my meds till something worked. That is what helped me most. Getting out of hs was second. I can say now that I never think of suicide. I still have several times where I want to cut but I can restrain myself and I haven't since that night 2 years ago. I also quite smoking as well which helped me too. I still want to smoke everyday but know I better off without.

I hope my story helps, its hard out there, but nothing last and can only get better if you make it.

Feel free to pm me whenever. I'm always willing to help and listen.

Kevin

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Tapatalk

Add me to the list of concerned and caring support. It is not a touchy subject, just an honest one.

I've got non-military PTSD, which no one understands LOL, but it often means anxiety and depression take turns trying to control my life. I haven't had much luck with medication (found out I have a 1:3000 weird liver, also apparently it means I can't get drunk or high either) but when I feel overwhelmed I make sure to get my tush in to talk to someone. Unfortunately, professionals are sometimes hit or miss and I often get frustrated with them and quit for a while, but I always make myself go back when I see the dark tunnel approaching.

You can find local crisis lines, but two national ones are 1-800-784-2433 and 1-800-273-8255.

Sometimes it takes a while to get in to see a professional of any kind and I'm in no way ashamed to admit I've called the local crisis line a several times in my life. I always feel really weird doing it, because I'm doing it so I don't get to the point of suicide, but then if there is a good person on the other end (only had one idiot) they start by telling me that is exactly when I should call... and when you should call too. If I spilled my whole life story I don't think many could top it, so believe me when I say I feel for you completely. I am also many of my friends midnight crisis line, so I guess I'm not bad to talk to either. If I can help, please don't hesitate to PM me: I'm on email, twitter, and a friend just made me reactivate my Skype, you know, I'm around. ;)

Been there, done that, got the meds, and they WORK. A lot of depression has to do with brain chemistry. I strongly recommed seeing a professional and being evaluated, at least then you'll find out what your options are and you'll discover that you actually DO have options. Suicide will just make everyone you care about feel like crap for a very long time and YOUR situation will NEVER get better.

http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/mpch/mp...083:27:26PM%27

I dont put much of "my stuff" out there but I have found it to help in some situations.
I do know the feelings you are going through because I am there almost everyday. You would think after 33 years I would have learned to cope with it but the little boy in me still asks "What did I do wrong to make my mommy leave?" while the man in me knows my deadbeat dad murdered her. I have decided that I will find her body when he gets paroled in a couple years regardless of what it takes;)
You just have to have a reason to live, no matter how large or small it is. In my mind, my family and pets would all die if I wasnt here to take care of them. This is the reason I allow myself to breath another day. I know it sounds screwy but then again I am kind of screwed in the head anyway.

You have me on facebook and here also if yo want to talk feel free to PM me.

Thank you all for your support, I love you guys. I don't think I'm so bad that I need professional help. Most days are fine, I feel good and I'm happy. But there are days that I get so down that I feel like I just can't take it anymore. It's not so much that I want to die as I would like to stop living for a while. I think that it is like this with a lot of the people who have these thoughts and that if there was an alternative to death that was less than permanent many would take it. Even when I feel so down that I would love to just end it, I know in my heart that I can't and won't do it. I think about what that would do to my family and friends, and that special someone who would miss out on knowing me. I think about the many, many years ahead of me and all that I hope to accomplish in that time. I think about all the lives that I haven't yet touched and how I could change the world if I just put my mind to work and how none of this can happen if I'm six feet under. Still, those thoughts are still there and God knows how impulsive I can be. I think that half of my depression is caused by family, friends, and school and the other half of it has and is caused by relationships and girls. The other day my sister, her boyfriend and I were going to see his parents in Knoxville. We stopped at a gas station and there was a really pretty girl there and Michael was all "Why don't you stop staring and go talk to her?" and wouldn't leave me alone about it until we left. Well I spent the whole day way down in the dumps thinking about what a coward I am etc etc etc... And I don't care if that sounds stupid. I've tried and tried, and when I actually talk to girls it's all fine and dandy and I realize that they are just people etc. But 99.99999% of the time, even though I know they're just people and it's not that bad etc I still psyche myself out thinking well screw that it's pointless for (insert various reasons...) Which is depressing but it's something that I just cannot get past and won't do anything about it..which is also depressing. That probably sounds stupid too but whatever it's how I feel.

Don't be in denial, the fact that you even can consider not wanting to live is a sign you need help. Get Pro help before one of your bad days goes too far.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Rob

Don't be in denial, the fact that you even can consider not wanting to live is a sign you need help. Get Pro help before one of your bad days goes too far.

---

Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by evan385

Well there's a free confidential depression screening at my school tomorrow, maybe i'll go.

---

Good idea, good luck.