some major life changes

I'm sorry to hear about the current events, but I hope you come out happier than before..


On a side note, not to be a negative nancy, but you are in a bit of a sticky situation for now. He's got your snakes, you've got his car. Normally I would tell you to just go pick them up when he's not home and that's the end of that. But if you do that now he might just take his car back.... Anothe rissue is that if you don't retreive them soon enough, he may just sell them and then there goes your collection.

Is he refusing to give them to you? See if you can take them to a friend's house and fix the paperwork with the car ASAP.

"Now if I can just let him let me have my snakes. His theory, he paid for them so they are his"

smh

Not to be ugly - but would 50/50 be a more equitable distribution. Did he buy the car too? You need to consider common law marriage law in PA. If you reach too far - he could react and you could end up with nothing.

Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by womsterr

"Now if I can just let him let me have my snakes. His theory, he paid for them so they are his"

smh

Not to rain on you but - I would think 50/50 would be a more equitable distribution. Did he buy the car too? You need to consider common law marriage law in PA. If you reach to0 far - he could react and you could end up with nothing.

Pennsylvania: A common-law marriage was established if, before 1/1/2005, a man and woman exchanged words that indicated that they intended to be married at the present time and they also held themselves out to the community as married (introducing eachother as husband and wife, filing joint taxes, etc.).

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How is that an equitable distribution? They are her snakes. Yea he paid for them but they were gifts to her. Now if the collection was maintained by both of them then thats a different story. But if he had no interest in them and only bought them for her as gifts, then they should not go to him at all.

My most sincere apologies Heather.
I recently left my boyfriend of 6 years as well. I know your pain, though we didn't have kids, we did have mammalian pets together (I got two of the three in the "divorce") and splitting up after 6 years is hard.

I hope you and your daughter fare well through this. I wish you all the best luck and nothing ill fated befalls you.

Best wishes and luck to you! That takes a lot of strength, especially not knowing how he would react.

As far as furniture, don't discount Craigslist. I have given away a lot of stuff through there that I just didn't want to send to the dump when I got replacements. Just be careful and never meet someone alone!

I was in a similar situation but I had dogs. I was with this person for 10 years. We both dragged our relationship out. Finally he told me he wanted me out. So I ended up at my mom's house. I couldn't take my dogs. That is and was heartbreaking for me. During this time he got his nosy new girlfriend to get a lawyer to issue me papers saying that if I didn't pick them up with in 10 days they would be considered abandoned by me. I still was in a situation that I couldn't get them. He knew and knows how I felt and feel about my animals. He just wanted and still wants to hurt me. He is a grudge holder. He don't like nobody.

I am married now and my husband and I bought a house. I have room for them now. I finally after years found out that he still had them. I was so afraid that he had given them to the pound. Anyway, I contacted him just to ask if I could see them and he said No! So I let it go. I still thank about them everyday. Only thing that gives me comfort is I know he is taking care of them.

I don't know how fond your boyfriend is of your snakes or if he takes care of them. If you are like me you were the main care giver at your place. Hopefully if that is the case when you get settled he will offer them to you. Everything is probably still pretty crazy for you now.

I wish you luck with your new beginning. Life is to short to be unhappy. I am so happy now. I never thought I would meet someone so wonderful to me. Don't go to far away from the forums. My doggie forum friends kept me sane when the ex and I split. I think the forum here when you have time will help you to :)

You are strong. After so long of sharing everything. It is hard to be alone.
But, you have more time for your daughter and finally yourself.
Glad that he left you with the car. He sounds like a fair man. He sounded like he was joking when he told you to start walking.
If the break up was decided by both of you and you both still want to remain "friends" As in he is still going to see his daughter. Then i say let him have the snakes for now. Let him take care of them until you are more established on your own before trying to bring back 100+ snakes back into the home. Feeding them will take out enough money you could use for new furniture, food and clothes.

Good luck on your journey. I hope the best for you!

Good luck with everything, I hope you get everything figure out and it goes as smoothly as possible!

I've been in a very similar situation, and it takes courage to leave. It sounds like you have invested a lot of thought into this decision and into how to move forward. Best of luck to you! I hope you are able to get your snakes back too:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Annarose15

As far as furniture, don't discount Craigslist. I have given away a lot of stuff through there that I just didn't want to send to the dump when I got replacements. Just be careful and never meet someone alone!

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True story. I've seen tons of (what looks like) nice furniture on CL for FREE!