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Welcome to our newest member, LeonoraOrdonez5

Soon to be new guy

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  • 08-02-2016, 07:17 PM
    dkatz4
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fraido View Post
    18, I believe she's 35.

    That rat was his baby, and he caused its death unintentionally. Our rats are loving pets in our life, not a source of food for our snakes.(: He wants to get his heart rat cremated, and I sort of want to do the same with my own when the time comes. He's getting him cremated and having the ashes put into a little necklace.


    ok, that is interesting - i am 34, and although my oldest just turned 4, i teach college First-years (mostly 18-y-o) so i have some inkling of that age gap. now especially if you haven't lived together in years, i'm going to suggest (and i think its safe to say that i, as everyone here, am speculating wildly, but with only good intentions) that the conflict between you may bear more resemblance to sibling rivalry than parent/child. you two are at opposite ends of the same age group, in many ways you are peers. Think of the mild distain your graduating class had for the incoming freshmen, well we 30-somethings have that for you millennials in spades (not to say that any of it is valid) so take that awkward dynamic and then factor in fact that one of you gave birth to the other, and in doing so may very likely have missed out on a great deal of the fun of early adulthood which you are now enjoying, (which is fine btw, i'm not suggesting you should feel guilty for acting your age) and you have all the ingredients for a stew of psychological and emotional turmoil that could manifest itself in any number of ways from the fairly common, "she's always right and i'm always wrong" to the more novel, "she smells phantom odors". So i'm not trying to say, "hey give your mom a break, she's had it tough." I'm saying that your relationship is very unique and if you consider all the non-traditional aspects of it, you may find resolutions that you had not thought of before.

    [steps down from podium, adjusts spectacles, lights pipe]
  • 08-02-2016, 07:34 PM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dkatz4 View Post
    ok, that is interesting - i am 34, and although my oldest just turned 4, i teach college First-years (mostly 18-y-o) so i have some inkling of that age gap. now especially if you haven't lived together in years, i'm going to suggest (and i think its safe to say that i, as everyone here, am speculating wildly, but with only good intentions) that the conflict between you may bear more resemblance to sibling rivalry than parent/child. you two are at opposite ends of the same age group, in many ways you are peers. Think of the mild distain your graduating class had for the incoming freshmen, well we 30-somethings have that for you millennials in spades (not to say that any of it is valid) so take that awkward dynamic and then factor in fact that one of you gave birth to the other, and in doing so may very likely have missed out on a great deal of the fun of early adulthood which you are now enjoying, (which is fine btw, i'm not suggesting you should feel guilty for acting your age) and you have all the ingredients for a stew of psychological and emotional turmoil that could manifest itself in any number of ways from the fairly common, "she's always right and i'm always wrong" to the more novel, "she smells phantom odors". So i'm not trying to say, "hey give your mom a break, she's had it tough." I'm saying that your relationship is very unique and if you consider all the non-traditional aspects of it, you may find resolutions that you had not thought of before.

    [steps down from podium, adjusts spectacles, lights pipe]

    I can see what you're saying. Perhaps you are correct. I don't know!
  • 08-03-2016, 04:02 PM
    Prognathodon
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    [QUOTE=Fraido;2460583]I literally just moved in with her, haha. Just finished highschool at the end of the June, I lived with my grandparents in a small town for my highschool years, I chose to move in with her so I could be back in the city where I would be able to walk to a job since I don't drive. Right now I'm taking a break from the stresses of school and work, and I can't even begin to explain how much happier I am because of that. Anxiety runs through my mom's side of the family, my mom deals with it, and I really see it in myself. I'm taking this time to relax, look after myself, and psych myself up for getting a real job in a few months. Not to mention think about what I want to go to school for and how.

    We may noQUOTE]




    Sent using software and hardware
  • 08-03-2016, 04:17 PM
    Prognathodon
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Ok, let's try this again...

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Fraido View Post
    I literally just moved in with her, haha. Just finished highschool at the end of the June, I lived with my grandparents in a small town for my highschool years...

    Thaaaat's probably part of it - I bet she hasn't completely processed that you're not the same age and maturity level as when you moved out for HS. It can be hard as a parent adjusting to teens/twenty-somethings' growth when they live with you full-time (am there, doing that [emoji846]), and being away likely makes it harder.

    That doesn't excuse lack of respect, but maybe it can help you think of ways to help her adjust to the now-you, instead of 4-years-ago you.

    You might also point your bowser at captainawkward.com and look at posts about dealing with parents.


    Sent using software and hardware
  • 08-03-2016, 04:26 PM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Prognathodon View Post
    Ok, let's try this again...



    Thaaaat's probably part of it - I bet she hasn't completely processed that you're not the same age and maturity level as when you moved out for HS. It can be hard as a parent adjusting to teens/twenty-somethings' growth when they live with you full-time (am there, doing that [emoji846]), and being away likely makes it harder.

    That doesn't excuse lack of respect, but maybe it can help you think of ways to help her adjust to the now-you, instead of 4-years-ago you.

    You might also point your bowser at captainawkward.com and look at posts about dealing with parents.


    Sent using software and hardware

    LOL. I was so confused, I was like, uhhhhhhhh I have no idea what this post is supposed to mean.

    I could see how that might be the case. I can clearly recall a couple months ago I wanted to light a candle and she was questioning my capabality of using a candle because she "knows me." I was uber frustrated and I literally told her that, 'with all due respect, you have no idea who I am anymore,' because she really didn't. While I did frequently bring up stuff and talk about things that went on, she has no idea who I have become and what I'm capable of. It was just so insulting to have someone (your mother making it even worse) believe so little in you, so much so that I can't even manage the tiniest of responsibilities.

    I shall take a peek at that link!
  • 08-14-2016, 02:11 AM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Anybody got suggestions on a good sized snake hook for him? I realize I really need one. Lol

    Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
  • 08-15-2016, 11:23 AM
    Prognathodon
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Get one that can't collapse/rotate! Probably not a thing with bigger hooks, but we've got a couple small one that does, and the rotation can be a royal pain.

    One of my husband's co-workers made us a bigger hook in his metal shop, I just need to put a handle on it (works without, but a handle/grip would make it easier to use).


    Sent using software and hardware
  • 08-15-2016, 12:53 PM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    I would definitely never get one that rotates or collapses!:p

    I wish I had a handy friend. Lol I know someone who is willing to sell me a hook, I'm going out there today to look at it, gotta make sure it's a good size.

    Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
  • 08-22-2016, 10:32 PM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    I am the worst at progression type threads, lol

    OMNOMNOMhttp://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2016...17efca8867.jpg
    http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2016...20ecb08ffb.jpg

    I sort of have to wait for specific times to take him out, my mother doesn't want him coming out. *rolls eyes*

    Looks like we're gonna have a shed, soon! Pictures to come!
  • 08-22-2016, 10:32 PM
    Fraido
    Re: Soon to be new guy
    Gross hide has been removed, just so everyone knows. Lol

    Sent from my LG-H812 using Tapatalk
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